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The Pictish Wilderness

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The Kingdom of the Pictish Wilderness is pleased to have discovered the region of Europa. Our bands of hearty warriors are very excited (nay, frothing!) at the prospect of making "friends" with our new neighbors.


Our Kingdom was founded by right of arms. The Gods are of little use to us since they treat us as but toys, so we scoff at the concept of the "Divine right of Kings." Our "divine" right is imbued in our sword arm... which we are happy to "share" with others when the situation warrants. tongue.gif


Given the remoteness and natural dangers of the Wilderness where we make our homes, we do not expect that our day-to-day customs will be easily understood by the region's so-called "civilised" nations. We may not be your rocket scientists, as you call them, but we still know where to poke those same scientists in order to make the rocket work.


That all said, have no fear that we will wander randomly afar from our trecherous forests and icy mountains. We're not the kind of people to fight with our neighbors simply becasue they are there. I pledge, on behalf of my people, that we will behave ourselves in the international community.


King Adric IV, Son of Valdis


PS - All tourists are welcome... so long as you sign the waiver and provide the names of three immediate family members (along with an accounting of their annual worth and land holdings).



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Well, many thanks to you all for the warm welcome!


As is royal custom, we will attempt to honour each of you in recognition of your kindness:


To Emperor Tinsman - As the first to give us recognition, we present you with the keys to the city. If you can figure out which city they go to we'll make you mayor for a day.


To the Emperor of Amnalos - We present you with this hand-carved portable shrine. Put any appropriate representation of your god-hood in it as give it to your troops. (What they do with it will be a sign!)


To the Emperor and all diplomatic representatives of Tagmatium - Here is a map to our best highland health resort. All the free, crisp air you can breath. May we also suggest simply shortening your title(s) to the sobriquet DSGHET? Still a mouthful, but not nearly so light-headed afterwards.


To PIRILAO - Being from the untamed forests and mountains, our clans have never taken on much in the way of the more southern languages, and while I may be an educational cut above the masses of my kingdom, Portugese is indeed outside my ability. Therefore we offer these fine bearskin rugs as a token of thanks and a remberance of our people's savage roots.


To Koku - Thank you, we intend to fully "enjoy" Europa. In fact in so doing already, we have "liberated" this amount of rice which should just about feed you for a year.


To Europa - If we understand the region's military custom, we should say "Sah!, Yes Sah!" and stamp our foot in crisp salute. Clearly then you are in need of this command baton carved from the femur of a p.... er, animal... yes, ferocius animal!


To Haken - Indeed.


To Phil IV - Yum! Well done! Entrails are some of our favorite things... Clearly then,

you deserve this state-of-the-art portable outdoor cooker. Just have your servants wheel it along behind you at state functions and you can have on-demand BBQ.


and finally, to Noitan Eugor - Excellent. Your regional crime is indeed a tempting morsel. When we've worked out the concept of a formal navy we'll be sure to travel around a bit more to sample the more distant varities. In thanks for pointing out this fun passtime, we offer you this game warden's license. With it you are free to roam our forests (sorry, lowlands only) and swamps in search of exciting ways to nearly be killed by nature. Sounds fun, yah?


Again, thank you all!

We will be happy to take advantage of your hospitality!


King Adric IV, Son of Valdis



PS - Alright Haken, don't look so downtrodden. You may have this highly-crafted hand mirror we "found." It is particularly useful for seeing who's behind you and why.

Edited by Wild Picts (see edit history)
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Quote: "To Koku - Thank you, we intend to fully "enjoy" Europa. In fact in so doing already, we have "liberated" this amount of rice which should just about feed you for a year."


You have our gratitude, King Adric IV. In return, we are sending to you 30tons of fresh tropical fruits, and a number of best quality Kokian silk quilts.

With your permission, our minister of Trade and Foreign affairs will accompany to discuss the possibility of trade and investment.

Well wish to you and your people.

King Koku.


[PS. Sorry, but I couldn't find your nation via World's search... biggrin.gif

What is the full name?? ]



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Koku: Thank you kindly. We look forward to "entertaining" your trade caravans. We can even recommend some relatively cheap guards to protect your goods on the long trip...




(look for: The Pictish Wilderness)



Senator Gaius: *mphmmph* Thesth are goodd. 're thhey maphd wif real panzers?

*gulp* Here, you should have this sword, er... "field survival knife" to help you in your supreme commands...


King Adric IV

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May we also suggest simply shortening your title(s) to the sobriquet DSGHET? Still a mouthful, but not nearly so light-headed afterwards.

That closely resembles DOGsh*t.

Hrmm. Did not notice that until you pointed it out...



Maybe you should stop being so Democratic or Scoialist (or both) just to change the title... wink.gif

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Results of a recent poll in Noitan Eugor shows that 50% of all Eugorians love killing nature, and 50% love being killed by nature! To commemorate these disasterous and embarassing figures, the government of Noitan Eugor has approved the addition of a new official national bumper sticker!


ok01.gif We Love Killing Nature ok01.gif

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