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[Vision Statement] Birina


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Warning: The following contains no pictures. It is almost entirely words.

 

History:

There was once a Duke who wanted to discover and implement windmills in his country, which was Birina, which is this country. He established a Committee (a concept that, unlike windmills, had been discovered already) to pursue this endeavor. It was given the eponymous title "The Windmill Committee". According to itself, the Windmill Committee immediately set about pursuing its task with great alacrity. That's why its members were shocked and outraged to find out that, instead of doing that, they had actually been embezzling all of their funding to spend it on lavish estates and partisan forces. After one particularly spirited attempt at committing extra-judicial killings against political opponents, the Committee was dragged before the Duke.

"We're just as angry as you are and demand justice." quoth the Committee

"What? That doesn't make any sense. You're the ones who did this." The Duke quothed back at them.

"All the more reason for us to be angry. There has to be an investigation." said the Committee, completely abandoning medieval-style narrative.

"No, there has to be an investi-Wait, what? I should be the one demanding an investigation."

"That proves we're honest. Honest enough to select the members of the Windmill Committee Investigation Committee ourselves."

One of the Duke's advisors leaned in and whispered, "My Dukeness, if they committed wrongdoing why would they be so willing to be investigated by themselves?"

The Duke was not convinced, but he was confused, which was better than convinced.

"That's the kind of thinking we need on the Windmill Committee Investigation Committee." the Committee said, probably winking at the advisor.

"Yeah." The advisor said, "And I have a buddy of mine lined up to head up the Committee to investigate my Committee. Yaknow, when I inevitably embezzle all of its resources to enrich myself and expand my power base."

Then they told the Duke it was a good talk and that they would definitely circle back later. And this is all, you know, on a tapestry or something like that.

 

Politics:

Democracy is inherently good. Therefore anything that is voted on is also inherently good. This is the guiding ethos of The Windmill Committee. Many would argue that the Windmill Committee is democratically elected. After all, there is a vote of some kind that takes place to get on the Committee. If you were to point out that it is only the Windmill Committee itself voting on who is admitted as a new member, well, maybe they would say that you hate Democracy and are undermining our institutions and are an extremist who should be locked away if you hate Democracy so much, you piece of shit. All votes of the Windmill Committee have to be unanimous. This does not, however, prevent Committeemen from being mocked when they vote against their own resolutions to preserve the Committee's unanimity. Sometimes the Chairman of the Committee has total power over Birina. This occurs during moments when it is most convenient for the writer for that to be the case. To preserve the delicate sensibilities of readers who require immersion and suspension of disbelief the following possibilities may be utilized to explain these occurrences:

1: A very sudden and very short coup.

2: The Chairman became a dictator briefly while the other members of the Committee were looking out the window at a particularly colorful bird.

3: Something to do with Jesus if you go for that sort of thing.

 

Society:

Birinian society is a very complex ecosystem of brutal politicians and everybody else. There are reporters and members of the intelligentsia that occasionally make a valiant effort at holding the Committee accountable and they generally fail in amusing ways. Birinians have a charming tendency to accept bribes. After centuries of propaganda, the idea of discovering windmills is near and dear to everyone's hearts. A common greeting is to wave one's arms around one's head while blowing air out of the mouth, in imitation of a windmill supposedly. These, as well as several expressions and idioms that you would expect of a society entirely based on windmills, are limited by the fact that Birinians do not understand (on a very fundamental level) how windmills work at all. Popular phrases include:

"Like the mighty windmill, I shall soar above it."

"Don't tilt against the windmill if you can't handle it blowing on you."

Stats:

Population: 24m (Medium)

GDP Per Capita: 18k (High)

Land Area: 200k (Medium)

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