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Diplomatic Visit to San Castellino

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Managerial Ambassador General Kisyak Surfirvo enjoyed his flight on Bella Aires Air. The telenovela as his on-flight movie was a bit too dramatic for his tastes, and he was surprised there wasn't more in-flight advertising, but hey, what another country did or didn't advertise wasn't any of his business. But! Business was precisely why he had decided to drop by for a visit at San Castellino's embassy. In his arms, he carried a suitcase (with prominent Cashari advertising covering the entire case) filled with documents for peaceful negotiations and trade proposals regarding imports and exports that would be mutually beneficial to both groups. He was not only confident in his ability to persuade the San Castellino ambassador of his proposals for trade, he was ecstatic.

Kisyak had a twinkle in his eye, a spring in his step, his mustache was finely groomed, and he wore only the best cologne - a Zekio Abman brand. He greeted those escorting him to the San Castellino embassy with a big, customer-service style smile and opened his arms but did not hug as if he were saying through body language "Welcome, welcome to ME." As it was, he did not actually say this, but he greeted the San Castellino citizens with a proper greeting in their native language. 

@San Castellino

Edited by Cashar (see edit history)
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The Ministry of Foreign Affairs, which also served as an embassy, was built like most buildings in downtown Gazallenoa. An Ivericano-colonial architecture of baroque inspiration that was truly magnificent. Kisyak Surfirvo must have noticed the Ministry's sub-activity right away. Indeed, the nationalist and isolationist policy of San Castellino made the country silent on the world political scene. However, it was not the same on the economic scene. San Castellino was always willing to enter into economic agreements as soon as they were advantageous enough, even when it came to doing business with the opposing camp: "Money has no smell," as Dollar Bill Quispe, the Minister of Economy, so often said.
Ismael de la Plata, Minister of Foreign Affairs but above all nephew of the President of the Republic and only son of the CEO of the Sea, Sex and Sun Corporation, was sitting in his office reading. It was a forbidden book, the kind you can't read without being suspected of high treason and being sentenced to the guillotine. That book was "Populist Alternative to Nationalism," written by Carlos Mariachi, one of the dictators of San Castellino. And it was precisely in this book that he proposed a new form of nationalism, a social nationalism, more open to the proletarians. It's not that Ismaël was agreeing with this ideolody, and he was not agreeing to national-capitalism, he was neutral, "apolitical", as he used to like to think. Suddenly the telephone rings: a call from the reception desk.

- "I'm listening?"

- "Mr. Minister, an ambassador from Cashar has arrived at the Ministry. I told him that you will welcome him in a moment."

- "Well, bring him in and bring me a cup of tea with milk and cane sugar."

Ismael puts his book in his private library and presses a hidden button. The cabinet swivels to reveal another library, but it is filled with government-approved books.The Minister readjusts his costume and bow tie with coquetry and sits down.
The lady in reception politely approaches the ambassador to invite him to follow her into the Foreign Minister's office. At the same time, she explained to him :

- "Usually, we would probably have sent you to one of our ambassadors, but we're running out of money at the moment and the only ones we have are off to Asmavie to... have fun, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm talking, I'm talking, my apologies. I'll leave you to speak with our Foreign Minister."

She said as she opened the office door, and then left to get the tea. Ishmael de la Plata got up immediately and walked towards the ambassador to shake his hand.

- "Good afternoon, I am Ismaël de la Plata, the Minister of Foreign Affairs. Pleased to meet you. I understood that you are an ambassador from Cashar, is that right?"

He said, inviting him to sit in front of the office.


Edited by San Castellino
Woops, I did a mistake. Sorry. (see edit history)
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Kisyak waited with some patience to be allowed to see the Minister of Foreign Affairs. He checked his watch a few times and considered his surroundings thoughtfully. Some countries just didn't know the wonders of speedy customer service. It was sad, but again, none of his business. He remained smiling and smiled even bigger when the secretary came up to him and escorted him towards the minister's office. He had a firm hold of his suitcase but took Ismael's hand and gave it a firm and vigorous salesman-like shake.

"A pleasure, a pleasure, to be sure! Absolutely wonderful to see you at last, Minister de la Plata. Yes, yes. I'm the Managerial Ambassador General of Cashar. Call me, Kisyak Surfirvo. Or simply, Kisyak will suffice. We're all friends here." He beamed.

He gave a few good nods in the minister's direction. "Indeed, it's interesting your secretary brought up your, shall we say, funding issues? I certainly can't help how such funds are diverted, but if you're looking to boost trade and the coffers of both our countries, I have more than a few deals for you!" 

With a flourish of his hand as if he were about to deliver a grand prize, he opened the suitcase, then he rifled through a few file folders which he picked up. He didn't set them on the desk until he had Ismael's permission. "Right now, Cashar is undergoing a great need for agricultural goods and tobacco, in particular. We have a suitable number of chemical offerings for the growing and maintaining of plants, but we don't have the environment for it. However, the lovely San Castellino seems to have exactly what we need - and in return, we could provide to you enough agri-nutrients to help grow enough food to feed a few populations!" 

Kisyak laughed, lightly and carefully. "We're also looking to buy into your oil, lithium, and luxury car offerings. Have you heard of KASHKAR, by any chance? Wonderful sport. Tayat Motors provides some fine, durable cars, but we could use some prettier ones on our tracks. We can also provide auto glass in order to offload the burden of cost in producing your fine motor vehicles."

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- “Well, thank you Mr. Kisyak, I mean, Kisyak. Then call me Ismael. »

Slightly surprised by the strength of the handshake, he still let him do it before sitting down.

- “Yes, indeed. I have tried several times to convince my unc-, no, I mean, El Presidente of the importance of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, but he doesn't listen to me very often. Anyway, that's not the point. »

The Minister listened attentively to the Ambassador General, slowly nodding his head: an unconscious sign that he agreed with Kisyak's proposals. Ismael replied with a smirk. He was not in the habit of smiling a lot, Ismael. He was naturally rather reserved and pragmatic, way too pragmatic according to General Di Foxycionni.

- “Your proposals are very interesting. I had told the Supreme Leader that Cashar would be a more than interesting business partner. However, in order to conclude the agreement, we will have to talk directly to El Presidente - even if I must admit that it's a sure thing. If it means the party will make more money, then it's a sure thing. I'll let him know now and we can have an appointment in half an hour at the most... with a bit of lu-.  »

The phone rings again. Ismaël picks it up and says "All my apologies" to the ambassador.

- “Yes? What?! The kettle out of order? And shit! Well, it's simple, just do the usual procedure and fill out the AG5-92, category J2, claim form to make an order at the Claims Office. No more claim forms? Well, it's simple, just fill out form 4-D84, category W02, classification 1L to order more claim forms from the Claims Office. No more claim form of claim forms? Well, it's simple, just fill out claim form AG5-92, category J2, to order from the Claims Office. Still can't do it? Well, listen, I have an important appointment with an ambassador right now and your call is most likely bothering him and wasting my time. Well, it's simple, you have two legs, so you're on your own: I want my tea in ten minutes or you're fired. »

He puts the phone down.

- “Really, my apologies Kisyak. Bureaucracy can sometimes lose some of them. I'll let El Presidente know right away about the appointment. »

The Minister takes his cell phone and... just sends a message to El Presidente. To tell the truth, this was not so surprising when you knew that almost all the great members of the government knew each other personally. The phone emits a small "Ding" a few seconds later and Ismael says to Kisyak with a small satisfied smile.

- “El Presidente says he would be delighted to speak with you right now. »


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  • 2 weeks later...

Kisyak's eyes widened when Ismael got into touch with the leader of San Castellino, El Presidente. "Ah! You enrich me greatly with the thought that I might visit with your highly esteemed leader! My dear friend, my proposals will make all of us very, very rich! Very rich indeed!" 

He gestured in a manner suggesting that Ismael go ahead with the phone call. "I actually need to step back a bit and confer with my people as well. It is a big deal to be meeting with El Presidente himself. I will return shortly after these messages!"

With that, he stepped out of the office to confer privately with the various movers and shakers in Cashari diplomacy. He returned moments later having kept the conversation efficient and short. Time was money, after all. He chuckled when Ismael complained about how the bureaucracy loses some of them.

"Ah! Perhaps you should consider in investing in a business that streamlines your bureaucracy for you. We have such business in Cashar! Little Papyrus, Inc. is very effective at making all the loops and hoops disappear. A linear process is good for the economy!"

Kisyak waited to be seen by El Presidente, briefly wiping his sweaty hands off on a brand-name handkerchief before slipping it back into the pocket of his outfit. 

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  • 1 month later...

- "Yes, that's true. That could be really interesting. In fact, the San Castellinos bureaucracy didn't change since the 70's and..."

He continues in a low voice so as not to be heard by a possible hidden microphone.

- "She really sucks."

The door to the Ministry can be heard opening and someone announces loudly.

- "His greatness the glorious general Di Foxycionni, Presidente de la República, almighty Supreme Leader, savior of the Motherland, guardian of Liberty, without lying, if his ramage relates to his plumage-"

The voice is interrupted by another, that of the famous Presidente.

- "Shut up, I'm busy."

The general opens the office door, closes it carefully, and goes to shake Kisyak's hand. He had a firm grip and the unfortunate tendency to squeeze too hard.

- "It is a great pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kisyak. My nephew here warned me of your arrival and I could not miss such a great deal."

He sits down on a chair, opposite Ishmael, and continues.

- "My nephew told me about your proposals. Do you already have an exact idea of how much merchandise Cashar would like?"

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