The Oil Crisis

[San Castellino 87]

Republic of San Castellino,
Gazallenoa,
08/01/2020,
2:02 p.m.

 

General Di Foxycionni reread his speech one last time. He was sitting in his office. It was a magnificent baroque-inspired Iverican-Colonial-style room at the top of the presidential palace. The architect had skillfully combined the beige stone of San Castellino, marble, exotic woods and gilding to create this huge building over 300 meters long. Di Foxycionni served himself a third glass of rum. His doctor always told him not to abuse the bottle so as not to aggravate his cirrhosis of the liver, but you don't make 40 years of alcoholism disappear with the snap of a finger. Behind his back, the Secretary of State of the National Capitalist Pact La Joie Divine N'Golo, the Minister of Information and Propaganda Carlos Garcia, the Minister of Defense Diego Fraffre and the Minister of Foreign Affairs Ismael de la Plata were waiting for him on the balcony.After a dazzling coughing fit, Di Foxycionni painfully got up from his armchair and went out onto the balcony to the enthusiastic cheers of the crowd, itself closely watched by 5,000 soldiers and a good hundred heavy tanks very impressive despite their 30 years of backwardness on the world.  Several tens of thousands of San Castellinos had come to the Plaza de la Libertad, gathered at the foot of the presidential palace to hear the announcement of their Supreme Leader. From the presidential balcony, on the seventh floor, the last one, there was a magnificent view of all of Gazallenoa, from the Cathedral of Our Lady of Gazallenoa to the Ministry of Information and Propaganda, passing by Mount Montemount and Mount Montepecho. Underneath, cameramen were busy filming the famous reporter Elio dom Ursullo of RSC National Chronicle. Despite the noise of the crowd, it was still easy to hear what he was saying - it must be said that the Ministry of Information and Propaganda had ample means to invest in cameras and microphones of excellent quality.

"Our beloved almighty Supreme Leader sounded the informative alarm across the country: a sign that he has a decision of capital importance to communicate to us and to the plebeians, and that it is imperative to turn on your TV set or TFS device if you can't get to Freedom Square. Ah, wait, the President of the Republic, Guardian of Liberty, savior of all San Castellinos, without lying, has just gone out onto the balcony and is about to make his speech. »

Everyone is silent, their eyes united in one direction: the presidential balcony. A deadly silence reigned. It lasted only a moment, but it seemed like years for the general. Usually, he was never nervous: very sure of himself, a bit gruff on the edges. But this was different.He was about to question the Cascadia agreement between San Castellino and @Galahinda signed in 1963.  This agreement stipulated that San Castellino had to sell 95% of all its oil to Galahinda for 8% of the normal selling price. But this real "diktat" was to end for the good of the party and the nation. So he steps forward before the microphone, clears his voice and prays internally that it doesn't end in war, before beginning his speech.

"San Castellinos, San Castellinossa, my dear compatriots. I come to you today not as a politician, a military man or an elite member of society, but simply as an enlightened San Castellinos. You are living in misery today and, as I have told you many times before, it is the fault of the communists and anarchists! They rape your companions, they slaughter your children, and they pollute your lands. BUT! we have finally realized that there is another obstacle to development in San Castellino: the Cascadia Agreement. It is a commercial agreement that we were forced to sign with Galahinda in 1963. It stipulates that Galahinda's oil companies have the right to exploit 95% of all our precious oil against only 8% of the selling price ! This is why I have chosen, after a democratic and republican consultation with the Minister of Foreign Affairs, to denounce this toxic and dishonest diktat that prevents the San Castellino nation, our nation, your nation, from getting rid of misery, hunger and poverty. As of today, I am announcing that the Republic of San Castellino will only sell 45% of all its oil to @Galahinda , that the selling price of San Castellino oil in Galahinda will now be 32% of the normal selling price of oil, and that the Cascadia agreement is now broken ! »

Everyone listened attentively to the dictator's speech. Everyone, except his Foreign Minister who was yawning in his corner. He had spent the night listening to Di Foxycionni recite his speech in order to correct it, so that the general would not end by insulting Galahinda of " impious imperialist autocracy " and that a war would break out. Then, tired and knowing the speech by heart, he yawned discreetly. But it was absolutely necessary that he not be seen by the general or the secretary of state. If one of them saw him, he would surely receive some kind of sanction and, above all, a blame, which would surely block him from reaching the post of Minister of Information and Propaganda when the post would become vacant. Di Foxycionni concluded the speech.

"... and we hope that this conflict of interest can be resolved peacefully and diplomatically. Viva la República! Viva San Castellino !! Now, applaud and shout for joy or I'll have the crowd shot. »
Then the crowd starts to applaud enthusiastically and ridiculously energetically and the Supreme Leader contemplates it, visibly satisfied.

(OOC: You could summarize his reaction with this lmao: https://media1.tenor.com/images/5a7cb78f00f28932cf30c8a55ae2d42e/tenor.gif?itemid=17248464 )

Di Foxycionni entered the presidential office accompanied by his ministers and the Secretary of State. The crowd continues to applaud for a few more minutes as a precautionary measure and then disperses under the suspicious gaze of the soldiers. Meanwhile, Elio dom Ursullo commented in front of his five cameramen:

"It was a magnificent speech by General Sullivan Di Foxycionni, absolutely magnificent, ladies and gentlemen. His speech was so evident that we hadn't realized it! What he said was so brilliant and... »

And he continued to lick the general's boots for long minutes before returning to the RSC National Chronicle studios.

Now all the San Castellinos were keeping their fingers crossed that this would not degenerate into war. All of them? No.The French-speaking anarchists of San Castellino were rubbing their hands in the shadows of the dark alleys. A war would suit them well: "L'Anarchie triomphera", as they used to say.