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RSC National Chronicle : New anarchist violence


San Castellino

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The day before yesterday, 7 December 2020, at 11am, a dozen anarchist protestors gathered in front of the presidential palace to protest against the 1997 law banning abortion on pain of being sentenced to the guillotine: an extremely serious gesture violating article 5 of the constitution - known as the Constitution of Liberty - giving the San Castellino people the fundamental right not to organise demonstrations.

The Supreme Leader, disturbed by these ungrateful citizens, took his courage in both hands and courageously called the army for help. The army, as the almighty guardian of peace, order and justice, arrived quickly. Most of the demonstrators immediately surrendered to the arrival of about a hundred tanks and tens of thousands of soldiers in front of the presidential palace. Only two demonstrators tried to flee but were fortunately stopped by a few tank shots, killing them instantly for the great good of the nation.

The traitors were all easily apprehended by the army and at 1.30 pm they were brought before the legal council of the General Staff of San Castellino. Ten seconds later, the culprits were sentenced to death: proof of the efficiency and absolute fairness of the San Castellino legal system, one of the most just and envied in the world. But the President of the Republic, General and Supreme Leadeur Sullivan Di Foxycionni granted a presidential pardon to eight of the anarchists, judging that they had been influenced by their comrades probably still using various anarchist symbols such as hard rock, black leather jackets and upside-down caps: clear anarchist signs of the unconstitutional and anti-Catholic decadence of the youth of San Castellino and their obvious connection with the devil and sin. The eight pardoned youths will therefore be sent to one of the rehabilitation centres in the Mariachi desert to learn to be good citizens and to worship their homeland and their Supreme Leader as the almighty Supreme Leader Sullivan Di Foxycionni worships them.

To reassure the crowd, the President of the Republic Sullivan Di Foxycionni made a speech advocating peace and understanding from the balcony of the Presidential Palace :

"Citizens, women, children. You have probably already heard about the anarchist violence that is plaguing our beautiful country: they are in the cities, in the countryside! They invade us! The anarchists are on the side of the Devil, the evil one! They want the end of civilization, order, justice, peace, freedom! They want to propagate profane ideas in your heads, to make you blaspheme! They take your jobs, rape your companions, slit your children's throats! And it has been proved by the Ministry of Law and Order that some of them work as spies for the communists ! ! In San Castellinos, the survival of the nation is in danger. Anyone with anarchist statements is a bomb just waiting to explode in order to take control of the government and establish dictatorship ! So, be good San Castellinos and denounce anyone you suspect of being against National-Capitalism to the authorities, so that justice, order and freedom can be guaranteed in San Castellino ! ! Now, applaud and shout for joy or I order the army to fire on the crowd."

So it was to the enthusiastic acclaim of the citizens of San Castellinos that the President of the Republic, Supreme Leader and General Sullivan Di Foxycionni finished his speech. The anarchist protestors condemned to death will go to the guillotine tomorrow at 3pm in Justice Square.

Alonzo Giesijo and Alonzo Giosije

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