President_Gato Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) Pic coming soon Technical difficulties occurring IT on their way -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE STINKY SELLER News you can't trust! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - We provide the fresh scoop everyday, making sure you know what's happening, anywhere at anytime! - Our journalists are devoted to only presenting you with the stinky hard truths of every incident so that only the truth may be told! - Our researchers work hard every day and night with no pay, so that only the hard facts and truths are found here for sure! - A private business with no government interference what so ever! - Jokes, comic strips, Nigerian princes and crosswords puzzles in abundance, only here! FOR LORD AND KINGDOM!   Edited March 30, 2018 by President_Gato Making it look fancier! (see edit history) 2 Link to comment
President_Gato Posted March 30, 2018 Author Share Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) BREAKING NEWS --------------------- The Spam Crisis! ----------------------------- As of today, millions of fellow citizens were horrified as they went to restock on the most prized delicacy of Brundelburg, SPAM to see stories across the country run out of those goods. Thousands have been seen looting stores to get the last spam sources and prices have been terribly inflated! The source of this sudden crisis has been attributed to the Fun Cow disease which has been ravaging the cow industry for months now. The government has made hasty quarantines to stop the spread of this disease but only time will tell if we will ever taste spam ever again. (Insert pic of crying person in empty aisle) This is Sammie Mac Hammy giving you the fresh slice of the news You can follow him at SamLovesHam@Ham.com  Edited March 30, 2018 by President_Gato Making my errors into works of art (see edit history) 1 Link to comment
President_Gato Posted March 30, 2018 Author Share Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) BREAKING NEWS --------------------- The Spam Crisis! ----------------------------- We bring you back the the topic that everyone has on their minds! Will this disaster be solved? So far government action has been showing no progress in battling the epidemic and a national ban on all imports of meat has been issued by Presidente Gato. In a press conference  assembled to assure the public that the situation was under control he responded to one of our reporters on the scene saying "As a servant of he people, I will not lie and say that this situation isn't grave but know that we will fight this to the bitter end to save our national heritage of agriculture if god help me so!" Many can only hope that the actions of the Government and industry will be enough the solve the problem or public strife will be heading to the capital for sure. Many already have taken to protesting for further corporate regulations, blaming the outbreak on ineffective and cheap protection measures for cows. Now for a fact it is true that regulations have been very relaxed in the past on produce protection but our researchers have yet been able to link to to corporate incompetence. (Insert pic of people rioting over corporate incompetence, though not proven yet by our impoverished researchers) This is Sammie Mac Hammy giving you the fresh slice of the news You can follow him at SamLovesHam@Ham.com Edited March 30, 2018 by President_Gato why not? (see edit history) 1 Link to comment
President_Gato Posted March 30, 2018 Author Share Posted March 30, 2018 HAPPY NEWS!! We Stinky news Agency are happy to announce the buying of Truthfully News! This move will allow us to serve our viewers even more, celebration!! Happy Spat is our reporter for all things related to us you can find him at SpatBratPridefullSlap@Snitch.com 1 Link to comment
President_Gato Posted March 30, 2018 Author Share Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) Breaking News ------------------ The Cow Industry In Danger!!! ----------------------------------- As of this morning, we the Stinky Seller are sad to announce that not only Spam products have been infected but also every other cow related product has been deemed inedible! Due to a mutation in the virus causing Fun Cow Disease, all parts and things produced by and out of a cow are now in most probability inedible and if eaten can cause, fevers, diarrhea, and death. We are now facing a crisis of losing our beloved Cow industry! The government has failed so far to quarantine the situation, but instead are looking for a cure as we speak, revealed in a press conference yesterday (Click here to see video) Right now we ask all vigilant citizens to avoid eating any dairy and cow products, If we are to stay safe please follow the list of rules released by the BDC. 1.) All Diary products are to be considered contaminated and not to be eaten or risk your life 2.) All Spam products are to be considered contaminated and cannot, repeat cannot be eaten in any circumstances, no matter how much you crave Spam! 3.) All Other products that in any way are associated with Cow related parts are not to be eaten or drank 4.) And do not, I repeat, do not trust any Nigerian princes claiming to have safe Spam for a donation of a certain  amount of money I repeat do not trust any Nigerian princes. We can only hope and pray our meats will be safe, we can only hope (Insert sad pic of empty Spam Can) This is Sammie Mac Hammy giving you the fresh slice of the news You can follow him at SamLovesHam@Ham.com Edited March 30, 2018 by President_Gato Reasons (see edit history) 1 Link to comment
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