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The Foorste Heere fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke Election


Variota

Who do you vote for?  

9 members have voted

  1. 1. Pick your candidate!

    • Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere
      0
    • Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra
    • Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier
    • Dina Diva


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Het Huisselant stemmt!

The Foorste Heere fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke election

 

In a shocking move, Kristiano Delano Lansevoort has abdicated his position as Foorste Heere fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke. While official reasons have not been given and explanations vary between Ministries and newspapers, Het Waarre Raket fan het Noorten has been able to find out the actual reason: A lost bet. While in a high stakes poker game between various powerful men and women of Variota, FHfFfF K.D. Lansevoort had been on a losing streak with Henri Kewastemere, father of Kaltoer Party-leader Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere, winning large parts of his buy-in. Determined to win his funds back, Lansevoort managed to turn things around for two hands until Henri Kewastemere went all-in and won. Not able to let such a loss dictate the entire evening, Lansevoort called in the old Klan right to 'bet with a bet' in a last ditch effort to win. Klan Kewastemere, originally a collection of artists and craftsmen, has been aiming at improving their political standing for decades, with the Kaltoer Party being their primary method of aligning Variotan politics with the Variotan culture and their values.

As such, in another shocking move, Henri Kewastemere thus demanded that, in return for the bet counting as 50.000 Waarttemun, Kristiano Delano Lansevoort would abdicate and institute new elections if he lost. With his honor and that of his Klan on the line, and additional help from a variety of strong liquors, Lansevoort quickly accepted this. With a piece of paper stating this fact quickly being drafted between the people present at the poker game, the odds seemed to be in favor of Lansevoort. However, not even a straight flush was able to save his money, honor or position in the government as Kewastemere pulled out a royal flush, the only thing better. Het Waarre Raket fan het Noorten was quick to interview Henri Kewastemere's personal medium, Mama Siehner, on this bout of good luck. Her response is as follows:

"I saw it in the stars, in the chicken bones, tarot cards and coffee muck. Tea leaves are just garbage though, never trust anyone reading them. I saw that Henri was soon to receive a great bout of luck, something that would bring his life and his family joy. I told him that as well, I told him: Henri, you need to do something that requires luck. The cosmos and God himself are granting you the power to get lucky, you need to use this. Not using this would be like spitting on the cosmos itself, telling it you're not worthy of good luck, good fortune. Now, I was just figuring that the good luck meant that he'd win big on some scratch cards or something. But I got a message from him that day, saying that he had been defecated on by a passing bird and had found money. Well, as every sane person knows, those things bring good fortune. I even told him, put the money in your left pocket. Left being the good side for found money, as such. So when he asked me if he had a good chance at high stakes poker, something he usually loses big at, I told him: Go for it. Now, of course, he also won a big amount of money but it's just amazing to see the amount of luck he found by following my lead. Let's face it, the Kaltoer Party pretty much dominates the political views of the modern Variotan youth. Henri himself has the appeal of a sack of potatoes but perhaps his son might throw in his bid to become the Foorste Heere fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke, it'd make sense to do so. Wally D is so delish, did you see his last video? Everything jiggled in just the right way, I know what I'd want him to do to me. And let me tell you, there are some things in there that might even make the cosmos itself blush, hehe. Wally D, if you read this, hit me up baby boy. Let Mama Siehner take care of you!"

The election will be held only throughout the Variotan State, with citizens and representatives of the Kerke fan'es Huisselant Variota, the Unie fan Kommunes and the Klan Reierfer Gebiet only voting if a second round is needed. International observers from various nations have been allowed to announce a preferred candidate, in order to cultivate good diplomatic relations with other parts of the world. Due to the suddenness of the election, only the Kaltoer Party, the Laagher Party and the Asosiasjie fan Oliefaaier were able to provide a candidate, while Dina Diva has also signed herself in as an independent candidate, supported by funds made available by her fans and her reality TV show.

 

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Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere (32)

Representing the Kaltoer Party

Short bio: Waldemar Kewastemere, better known by his artist name Wally D, is a singer and politician based in Freielantflakte. As a singer, he has scored hits with his kitsch and camp appearance and music and is known through Variota and beyond. As a politician, he has led the Kaltoer Party after taking over the leadership from his father Henri in 2010 and has transformed the party from a fringe one that was often deemed 'spouting out unrealistic ideas about the supremacy of Variotan culture and how to spread it' into one supported by the newer waves of voters, the Variotan youth that see great potential in the Kaltoer Party's ideas and plans. The party's newfound popularity hasn't been wasted however, as it skyrocketed in seats at the 2015 elections from four to thirty-nine. With it's colorful parade of politicians often forming the life of after-debate after-parties, the Kaltoer Party has slowly cemented it's position as the people to go to to arrange a deal with one's political adversaries.

Likes: Clubbing, making music, ushering in a Variotan golden age through culture

Dislikes: Bigots, clingy middle-aged women, people that dislike Variotan culture and/or his music

Political Pro's: Establishment of Variotan Friendship Organisations, creating jobs through exportation of Variotan culture, promoting tourism

Political No-no's: Military drafts such as the one in place in the KRG, uncreative welfare solutions, damming in subsidies to cultural events and businesses

 

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Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra (34)

Representing the Laagher Party

Short bio: Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra, 'call me Dirk', is a politician hailing from Grootwaterflakte. His father, Filomedes fan Varra, was a fashion executive that had managed to form and keep together a chain of nation-wide fashion stores. Not willing to step into his father's footsteps, Diederick decided to study Psychology at the University of Ferrefaaierhafen and become a doctor. He wasn't just destined to work in that field however, as he was soon asked to join the Laagher Party by his study buddy and local Ferrefaaierhafen politician Harry Kolffanger. There, he managed to rise through the party ranks through his charisma and knowledge of the human psyche. While the Laagher Party did not see great improvements in it's amount of seats in the 2015 election, going from 12 to 15 seats, and he was located on place 18 on the party's list, he managed to get elected through sheer preferential votes. Now, he wishes to become the next Foorste Heere fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke, pushed forward as his party's candidate.

Likes: Gourmet food, lavender and it's scent, ushering in a Variotan golden age through economic dominance

Dislikes: Dina Diva, the climate change theory, NTSV and it's budget being balanced by subsidies

Political Pro's: Establishment of Variotan Friendship Organisations, strong armed forces, promoting Variotan products internationally

Political No-no's: Unneeded welfare, unneeded use of English, lack of international Variotan presence

 

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Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier (73)

Representing the Asosiasjie fan Oliefaaier

Short bio: No one is a more respected presence within the Variotan parliament than Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier. Coming from a long line of farmer barons of the Unie fan Kommunes, Lantheere fan Oliefaaier still owns the Oliefaaier Kommune although his daughter, Lantfrauwe Lidowij fan Oliefaaier, currently runs the day-to-day operations while he is the sole politician of the Asosiasjie fan Oliefaaier, his own political party. He has done so for the last forty years, maintaining his single seat throughout all elections and casting off all other seats allocated. While his popularity has known it's ups and downs, Lantheere fan Oliefaaier holds himself to his principles: Good politics done by a good man, no gimmicks needed. His political views are similar to the Laagher Party, as far as they both agree that the way forward for Variota is a strong armed forces, friendship organisations and promotion of Variota and it's products in a world that is always evolving. However, he remains adamant that every person deserves a proper life and safety net, for a nation is only as good as it's worst-off citizens, while the Laagher Party wants a minimal welfare net.

Likes: Well-made suits, piano music, ushering in a Variotan golden age through economic dominance

Dislikes: Gimmicks, people that cannot relate to those lesser off, people that call him Sjaakie

Political Pro's: Establishment of Variotan Friendship Organisations, strong armed forces, promoting Variotan products internationally

Political No-no's: Undercutting welfare and the safety net it provides, supporting and holding positive relations with oppressive governments, lack of international Variotan presence

 

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Dina Diva (39)

Representing herself

Short bio: Dina Diva, glamour model, singer, reality TV star. Based in Grootwaterflakte, Dina Diva's latest project that has been picked up by international media is her hit single, Als Ek Die Doe. Her long-running reality show Dina Diva Uncut airs on NSTV 4 - Entertainment and when she heard of the upcoming elections, she was quick to ask all her fans to support her through campaign donations. Her fans quickly responded and still do, with more money for Dina Diva's campaign coming in every day. Whether or not she will actually have a chance at this election is another thing, as Dina Diva knows as much about politics as she knows about nuclear reactors and how they work, that is to say: Absolutely nothing. Should she become the Foorste Frauwe fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke, Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra has already promised that he will be moving to another nation.

Likes: Herself, plastic surgery, being the best diva there is in the world

Dislikes: Fake fur, fake leather, other fake animal products

Political Pro's: Increasing funding for NSTV so she can have her own channel, banning formless, unisex and one-size-fits-all clothing, ushering in a Variotan golden age through herself

Political No-no's: Increasing taxes, stricter rules for painkiller usage, anything not involving herself

Edited by Variota
used the instead of Het (see edit history)
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Het Huisselant stemmt!

An Election update!

 

The first quarter, 1750 out of 7000 voting districts, of the Variotan votes have been counted, with results shown below. International observers have given the Variotan elections a strange turn however, with a significant amount of support shown for singer, glamour model and reality TV start Dina Diva. Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier, however, has received the majority of international support until this point, with half of the international observers noting that they would vote for him if they were a Variotan citizen. Whether or not Lantheere fan Oliefaaier will be able to solidify this international support is the question however, as Variotan youth are streaming to the voting booths, focused on voting on either of their more relate-able rolemodels: Dina Diva or Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere. Odd man out, Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra, has received the support from the international observers from one nation, Cristina, but whether or not he will be able to inspire the masses to vote on him has to be seen. For as it stands however, all four candidates still have a shot at becoming the next Foorste Heere/Frauwe fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke.

 

Total percentage of votes counted: 25

Votes received in percentages:

Dina Diva - 48%

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere - 32%

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier - 13%

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra - 7% 

 

The Candidates and their stances: Welfare

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere, Kaltoer Party: I feel that welfare is part of a deeper issue with people, the issue of feeling unwanted, unneeded. And yes, some people totally are unwanted and unneeded, sorry not sorry. I can't help it that you never decided to get a better education than a two-day course on how to flip burgers. But what I can do is get you happy by enabling you to go to a concert and get you a job assembling CD and DVD covers. And that's really what I am about, about creative solutions. About using our great culture to improve all of our lives and to change the world for the better, make them follow the Variotan example. I'll open up the Kewastemere Yearly Festival to the world and bring their artists and citizens here, celebrate our cultural diversity, show everyone ours is better and ensure jobs, ensure international visibility. Together, we can take welfare to the next and better level, a welfare where ones cultural soul is soothed and provided for as well.

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra: You have to imagine welfare like breastfeeding. Your child needs it, wants it and should get it. No one wants a child to die. But if you keep feeding that child your breast milk, you'll end up with saggy breasts and a weird fifteen year old. Welfare is exactly like that. No one wants our people to be hungry, no one wants them to lack fulfilling jobs. But if we keep nurturing them, providing for them above the absolutely needed bottom line then they'll end up being unemployable in 5, 10, 15 years. And that's when we're getting into a vicious cycle, as it means paying for these people until their deaths. By providing only what's absolutely needed and by providing unemployable citizens with education in needed areas, we can exponentially improve our economic situation, lower welfare costs and enable citizens to have rich, fulfilling lives that matter. And isn't that what we all want in the end?

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier: I feel that welfare is an inherent part of a modern society. In an age where the world, our technology and indeed even ourselves are constantly changing, there will always be citizens left behind. We cannot change that, we cannot dispute that. What we can do about that, however, is ensure that these people have dignified and worthwhile lives while also trying to have those that want to to catch up with life and follow on our shared path. And yes, there will always be one or two others that find it amazing to be in welfare and enjoy their life that way, the ones that would rather take advantage of the system than support it. Even these people should be tempted towards change, changing their mindset into something better. And that cannot be done by simply cutting away welfare for everyone, making those that do want to work and help and follow on our shared path suffer. Imagine if someone who just wants the easy life, the nothing doer, suddenly has to scrounge for cash. They are not going to end up having good jobs or even jobs because crime will be much more attractive to them, the quick and easy way to make a buck. That's why I support welfare, because through it, we support our worst off citizens that suddenly find themselves in need while also allowing us to change the mindset of those that do not want to work, or at the very least keep them out of the claws of criminality.

Dina Diva: Poor people always look so sad and bad, keeping them from finding good jobs that pay well. I know I always feel and look great after getting my monthly botox injections, ready to take on the world and become the best diva ever. So if I get elected, I'm going to put botox injections into the welfare program! #tightfacesfillworkplaces

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Het Huisselant Stemmt!

The Second Election Update!

 

Total Percentage of Votes Counted: 50

Votes Received in Percentages:

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere - 38%

Dina Diva - 26%

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier - 20%

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra - 16%

 

Total Votes Received in Percentages:

Dina Diva - 37%

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere - 35%

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier - 16,5%

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra - 11,5%

 

The Candidates and their stances: Pet Projects

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere, Kaltoer Party: Pet projects are a very good subject. Every leader, every person has them and in our position, it's no different. Luckily for me, my pet project is already up and running. The lovely Kewastemere Yearly Festival, where the best of the best of the Variotan music scene come together to battle each other in a contest of the sound, a song contest if you will. As our forefathers before us, Klan Kewastemere has always been one of craftsmen and artists, one of creativity, one of entertaining the people and ensuring the welfare of others. And what better way to do it but to open up our lovely, long running, prestigious Kewastemere Yearly Festival to everyone? Have each nation send their singer and battle us, culturally! Of course, it'll need a small subsidy but that's quickly done, that's nothing. You have to imagine that the economy will improve as well, as tourists will flock to see it. Crowds of money-spending foreigners. If we can get the other nations to perhaps chip a little bit in, that's even better. Hell, we could even rename it to the Kewastemere Festival and hold it twice a year! Or every three months! The sky is the limit!

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra, Laagher Party: Pet project is such a negative name, it makes it sound expensive and bad. I have a very simple pet project, the legal requirement for public buildings to waft lavender scent throughout it's areas. Have you ever smelled lavender? It is such a lovely and soothing plant, such lovely colors too. And it's not going to be expensive, we could simply put a lavender plant in every office and then just use air fresheners with lavender scent to waft it into the other rooms. Imagine the gains that will be made from this amazing plant! I'll also research if we can include lavender into more of the Variotan cuisine. I'm sure it tastes as great as it smells. Oh yes, and maybe see if I can ban Dina Diva from the nation or just get her off of NSTV and social media. I've hated her ever since she dated my father and got a fashion line out of it.

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier, Asosiasjie fan Oliefaaier: My only pet project would be to get a new tailored suit and have a piano installed into the Parliament, so that I can play during recesses. Nothing else required, all done on my own costs. I have never lacked any thing monetary in life and while it may have corrupted many others, it has not done so with me. What I could spend on a pet project could also go towards a new road, an expansion of a school, new jobs, you name it. It would seem selfish for me to take when I already have so much.

Dina Diva, herself: Pet projects? Is that something with pets? Well, I'd like to have a new dog. Maybe get it's nails painted, it's fur bedazzled... Does that count? Wait, what? Ooh, that's what it means. Well, I guess I would make all schools have a large picture of me in their classrooms, so I can inspire the new generation of diva's and divo's. And like, maybe get me some plastic surgery? I feel that I'd be an even better diva with some bigger implants, maybe some lip fillers, a nip and tuck... My butt is real though! Oh, and the politicians too! Have you seen some of them? Some are fat, some are flat chested, it really is sad. I'm sure everyone would pay attention to politics if everyone was as hot as me! If only that was possible... #letsmakepoliticssexy

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Het Huisselant Stemmt!

The Final Election Update!

 

Total Percentage of Votes Counted: 100%

Votes Received in Percentages:

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier - 52%

Dina Diva - 41%

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra - 4%

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere - 3%

 

Total Votes Received in Percentages:

Dina Diva - 39%

Lantheere Sjaak fan Oliefaaier - 34,25%

Waldemar 'Wally D' Kewastemere - 19%

Dr. Diederick Leopold fan Boerlant-Varra - 7,75%

 

Your new Foorste Frauwe fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke is...

Dina Diva!

 

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The new FFfFfF of Het Huisselant Variota, powerwoman Dina Diva at her inauguration speech

 

''Let me first start by saying that I knew from the start that I would win. I mean, you all, my fans have been so supportive. Campaign funds, positive messages and offers from all sorts of people have just streamed in and I would just like to thank you all! As you all can see, I dyed my hair black... Or well, my hairdresser obviously did, I'm not some poor pleb that was to dye their own hair. Anyway, I dyed it for you all! Power woman Dina Diva, rocking it in black to show the world our power! Boom boom! Probably going to switch it back to blonde next week though, blondes have more fun haha! Anyway, I already thanked all you fans, I obviously want to thank the big man upstairs! Thanks God for making me the greatest diva in the world! Girl power, yeah! Uhh, I guess I also want to thank my opponents? I mean, without them I would have just won outright so I can't thank them for that but I guess I thank them for losing to me. Yeah, something like that. Lastly, I want to thank my two great children, for letting mommy do her thing on the campaign tour. Mommy will be back soon darlings!

Now, I've heard from some guy, I think it was that one in that suit over there... Yes, that one, that my speech should include my plans. Well, the first thing is to obviously get a lot of selfies and such printed! We'll get schools and hospitals and such to hang up my picture for inspiration and spiritual healing! Nothing as good as looking at the world's greatest diva, me, to inspire someone! Obviously I'm also getting some plastic surgery, like maybe some bigger implants, a little lip filler... Don't worry guys, I'll totally follow up on my campaign promises! You'll get an even better Dina Diva than I am now! I'd also like to announce the start of NSTV 6 - Dina Diva Uncut, which will start broadcasting my own reality show Dina Diva Uncut twenty-four seven! No longer will you have to miss your diva and leader, I'll be in your living rooms all the time! 

Oh yeah, apparently this job comes with a personal assistant! He is sooo cute, I think he's like eighteen and has major baby face! If he plays his cards right, I might take his virginity right in the middle of my office... Did I say that out loud? Oh who cares, I'm the boss now! Anyway, I will let him see how we can do #tightfacesfillworkplaces and #makepoliticssexy, all that thinking would just make me tired and there's no fun in being tired! There are other people for that, boring people to do that. I'm not boring, I'm f*cking Dina Diva! Watch out world, Dina Diva is coming for you!''

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