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About the news channel

Big Story News Channel (BSN), also known as BS News, is an international cable and satellite news television channel.

The live news channel has reporters stationed all across Europa, but broadcasts primarily from studios in Meda, Orioni. As of February 2015, approximately 94,7 million Europan households (81.4% of cable, satellite & telco customers) receive the Big Story News Channel.

Modern smart televisions automatically detect the station, will set it as default on channel 4. BS News is owned by the Wolf Entertainment Group subsidiary of 21st Century Wolf.

About Bron Urgundy

Bronald "Bron" Joseph Aaron Urgundy (OOC: Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy) is a five-time (local) Emmy Award-winning journalist and the main anchorman for the BS News Team. He enjoys success as the number 81 news station in Europa and routinely attends parties to celebrate this accomplishment.

Bron is arrogant, egotistical, superficial, narcissistic, and pretentious but always confident and well-dressed. He is a keen flute player, specifically jazz flute. He is incredibly proud of his apartment, claiming it has many leatherbound books and smells of rich mahogany. He loves poetry, a glass of scotch, and his dog, Baxter.

About this topic [OOC]

This news channel produces completely fake news reports, with a lot of bias and attention for conspiracy theories. I figured we needed something less serious.

Feel free to posts fake stories from your own nation as well. Here are some nice tools to help you.

Everyone is welcome to post IC comments and escalations. And who knows, maybe Bron Urgundy will call you out during one of his next episodes.

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Tonight on BS News, we bring you an exclusive report on the Great Queendom of Suverina.

What makes this nation so supposedly 'great'?

What shady path made Eva the queen of all Suverin?

And what else is going on in the boring underbelly of the occident?

OOC: Everything that's being "quoted" here comes from the official NationStates page of Suverina. https://www.nationstates.net/nation=suverina

Political Freedom

When we first visited in Chişinău in 2006, we knew little of their strange and small western state. Their people had only recently joined Europa, and very few of them seemed concerned with happenings in the outside world.

Today, a decade after our first visit, the nation is still as cold as the last time we were here. But there have also been some changes: Suverina has become "renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, state-planned economy, and a keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of Suverin have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often."

"The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chişinău." Most Suverin, when asked what they think about their government, shy away from the question and quickly start talking about something else. That in itself should say something about this 'great' nation.

Although officially a semi-constitutional monarchy, the apparatchik commonly refer to each other as 'comrade'. Officially, this "Great Queendom of Suverina is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Queen Eva with an even hand." Queen Eva I rose to power in 2006, under quite suspicious circumstances. She was never supposed to be on the throne if it hadn't been for the assassination of her brother Michail II. During the reign of Eva I, dubious policies have been enacted, such as establishing friendly relations with the mass-murdering regime of Machina Haruspex.


When walking through the centre area of their capital Chişinău, it immediately becomes clear how deep the equality runs in this self-proclaimed 'socialist' nation. The answer is: not very deep at all. Ignoring the hordes of tourists bobbing around while taking obnoxious selfies and out-of-focus pictures of gold-domed churches and palaces, one wonders how much of this wealth is being shared between these 'comrades'.

According to official sources, the "average income is an amazing 309,164 Suverin Rubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest." At first that sounds like a lot of money, until you find out how much a Suverin Ruble is actually worth. Consider also their absurdly inefficient tax system, where "the average income tax rate is 9.0%, but much higher for the wealthy."

Put these two together, and all of this raises a lot of questions. How can a nation promote socialism, while at the same time promote a decadent monarchy? We took to the streets of Chişinău, but again, the general population shunned us with suspicion.

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pic.png Suverin people are reluctant to talk to foreign journalists, even one as famous as Bron Urgundy who can be seen here wearing a thick fur coat to protect him from the cold occidental climate.

That shouldn't come as a surprise. Individuals who are malcontent with their financial situation have much to risk. Just thinking about starting your own private businesses can get you into a lot of trouble. "The frighteningly efficient Suverin economy, worth a remarkable 5,245 trillion Suverin Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal." Yes: illegal. So don't think about being your own boss. You either do what the government wants, or you end up in jail.

If not for himself, then what else can a man do to put food on the table? Apparently, in Suverina, you have a limited choice between very few government-run sectors. "The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry." We wondered what this meant. Going through the dictionary of Suverin doublespeak, you won't find out about this particular industry. But the few political exiles who we managed to convince to speak with us, all lead us to believe the regime operates a million man army to monitor the private internet traffic of all of its citizens. Fortunately, most Europans know better than to trust Suverin software, since it'll set off massive malware alerts.

In case you are not lucky enough to join the Suverin 'Securitate', perhaps another industrial sector may sound more appealing. The economy receives "major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining." Yes, that's right: if you're not building killing machines for the glorious leader, or underground digging for radioactive materials, you can always get a job re-printing Mao's Red Book.

Civil Rights

When it comes to the population of Suverina and their liberties, there are some seriously bizarre customs that predict their daily life: "The nation leads Europa in per capita stalking, toddlers are wielding machine guns in the name of national defense, Suverina's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand, and rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear."

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pic.png In Suverina, the 'baby boom' actually goes 'boom!' Now isn't that cute?

Even though the ownership of firearms seems to begin at a shockingly early age, "crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown." After going through dozens and dozens of bureaucratic red tape, we managed to get our hands on the latest statistics on leading causes of death in Suverina. To our amazement, only 16,8% of the population dies of old age. Certainly, all this uranium mining has an impact on people's health, with 55,2% dying of cancer, and 1,3% die from a nuclear spill. Surely, if we were to meet our maker, we would love to be one of those 1,6% who die from "acts of God", whatever that may mean. Since the "national religion is Orthodox Christianity" you meet your end with heavy smoke blown in the general direction of your cascett.

Still, this remains a much better choice of an ending, compared to the way the Suverin treat their non-human lifeforms. "Suverina's national animal is the Aurochs, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation."

We end tonight's report with a wonderful poem by an unknown visitor to this notorious nation.

The only souvenir-a

you bring from Suverina

are a government subpoena

and an itchy case of seborrhea.

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OOC: Also, O, when one visits a country one has to follow that country's laws. You couldn't just travel to the DDR and hand out Ayn Rand books. While Suverina is far more democtaic, there are laws regarding dissident activities and limitations to what sort of criticism one can express in public. Had he not reported from Suverina and not interviewed Suverin citizens within Suverina he would have been free to say so much more. But everyone visiting Suverina is bound by Suverin law, laws must be obeyed. Would he face trial in Suverina he would probably be convicted for obstruction of public order which would result in a fine and a warning. Agitation with intent to cause rioting is of course terribly exaggerated and he couldn't be convicted of it. Everything can't be viewed from a western democratic 1st world perspective, just because that's dominant in RL today. The eastern bloc 2nd world perspective is current in NS. And all other sorts of perspectives. RL western 1st world perspective isn't normative in NS. It's just one of many perspectives. smile.gif


Edit: Many political forces are growing strong in RL today's political landscape that would be more than happy to limit the rights of the media. Lots of representatives of Sweden's third largest party have said that one day the PC media will be controlled and regulated. And Sweden isn't the only country with such dark forces, so even though our western free media is normative it's still being threatened. So it's not something to take for granted, neither in real life nor in NS.

Edited by Orioni (see edit history)
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OOC: @Suv: I'm afraid you will find that Bron Urgundy, in all his glorious bias, would care little about having hurt your feelings. tongue.gif Really, I have no control over him OR his reporting. I'm sure he'll pop up again somewhere else, and continue his warped way with words.
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Good evening Europa. I am Bron Urgundy. Welcome to BS News.

OUR MAIN STORY tonight: a large number of high-level Illuminati are gathering in Orioni for a three-day international conference to determine the future of the entire region. Officially called the G7-summit, we will refer to it as the SOJA-summit, named after each participation nation: Suverina, Orioni, Jilderen and Adaptus. The rich and powerful landed in O'polis with unmarked government aeroplanes. These aeroplanes are presumed similar the those used in special rendition flights to black sites. These conspirators of the 'New Europan Order' started their secret conclave with a visit to a museum, we presume to pay homage to their imperialist ancestors. Later that day, in our very own imperial palace, an exclusive gathering was held with extravagant dinner. We can only presume what happened next, but anonymous sources indicate a likelihood of dark orgies and fornication. More news on this topic will certainly follow.

THE SECOND ITEM in our broadcast is a brief follow-up on the earlier report. Our special report on the extraordinary situation in Suverina had some unexpected consequences. This report was seen by 3204 viewers throughout the region, a new record for this news station. Amongst those viewers must have been some of the Suverin apparatchik, who seem to have escalated our report towards higher authorities in the despotic queendom. Only days after his in-depth investigation, our star reporter Bron Urgundy is being sought by the regime. This is yet another example of the autocratic regime's disrespect for basic civil rights. Apparently, they have no respect whatsoever for neither freedom of speech nor freedom of the press. Where will this end?

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  • 2 weeks later...

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Good evening Europa. I am Bron Urgundy, and this is BS News.

THE G7 SUMMIT continues in Zuidhaven despite massive protest against this 'New Europan Order'. Several people taken to hospital after scuffles in broke out in Zuidhaven as demonstrators, some throwing bottles, faced off with riot police. Police responded with pepper spray when a group of marchers tried to break through their cordon. Occasional clashes followed as the demonstrators snaked their way back through the city. One paramedic said several protesters had been taken to the hospital and he was aware of around 30 people with minor injuries. A police spokeswoman could not give any official figures on casualties nor say whether there had been any arrests.

SECRET SUBMARINE PLANS have been leaked on the internet by a blogger. The unknown source states that these plans for a class of super submarine called "Oshun" should not have been known for at least another twelve months. The submarine seems to be designed to "destroy important economic installations of the enemy in coastal areas and cause guaranteed devastating damage to the country's territory by creating wide areas of radioactive contamination, rendering them unusable for the military, economic or other activity for a long time", the blogger wrote. The Imperial Orioni Defence Force said it had seen the blog post, but would not comment further.

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pic.png Leaked photograph of this secret Oshun-class super submarine.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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Good evening Europa. This is BS news, and I am Bron Urgundy, coming to you live from a location that is most certainly not anywhere near the beautiful coastal city of Dubasari in Suverina.

ON THE MOTORWAY between Suverina and Adaptus there was a mad car chase. A stolen Ford Mustang ran from cops and used some impressive manoeuvres to outwit the cops. Cats supposedly have nine lives, and after watching this video, I've come to the conclusion that Mustangs must have a few, too.

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This pissed off out of work stunt driver behind the wheel evades police for more than 45 minutes. They pull PIT manoeuvres on him multiple times, but he manages to get right back in the game as if all those hours playing GTA finally paid off. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't have the cheat code for infinite lives, and eventually homeboy's luck runs out. At least he compiled one helluva highlight reel before the cops retired his top score early. But I still want this guy on my Rocket League team.

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  • 2 months later...

Good evening Europa. I am Bron Urgundy, and this is BS News.

THIS FINE EVENING we bring you yet another exclusive and shocking story from about the nation of Suverina. BS News has learned from a reliable, anonymous witness that the Suverin regime is about to receive another political shock. Next week's issue of the gentlemen's magazine Playboy will feature leaked private photographs of a young Queen Eva, then princess. I ask you, Europa: is there really no measure for how low a nation can sink? Our source was unable to provide full details about the origin of these pictures. We did, however, receive this early print draft copy of the magazine cover. We did not ask the Suverin regime for comment since we are pretty confident they won't provide an honest answer anyway.

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pic.png "Queen Eva, Her Royal Hotness."

Stay tuned to BS News to follow how this story develops!

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  • 1 month later...

Good evening Europa. I am Bron Urgundy, and you are looking fine as ever.

Our main story tonight:

Pokémon Go is introducing gamers to the horrors of physical exercise

The beauty of most video games is that they can be played while sitting relatively still in the privacy of one's own home. For decades, the couch (or, failing that, comfy chair) has been the gamer's natural habitat. Sure, there are occasional titles like Dance Dance Revolution and that Wii Fit nonsense that require the player to actually, like, do stuff, but those have been anomalies, exceptions to the rule.

Now, however, there is the nightmare of Pokémon Go, the latest entry in a universally known, decades-old franchise. It's not like gamers can avoid this "augmented reality" mobile game. It's freaking Pokémon, for Christ's sake, the series they've known since grade school. The trading cards, the movies, the animated series.

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pic.png When you just gotta catch 'em all.

Gamers are in too deep to get out now. So they're dutifully downloading the app for Android and iOS and heading out into the dreaded and dreadful real world to hunt for whatever Pokémon might be out there. "Gotta catch 'em all!" is not just a slogan anymore; it's a lifestyle choice.

So are gamers happy with the opportunities Pokémon Go has given them? Many are not. Sore legs are a common complaint. But others, while still complaining of soreness in the leg area, are acknowledging that the game is a decent workout. "My legs are actually sore from all the walking I did yesterday playing Pokémon Go... who needs a gym membership"

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  • 10 months later...
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Good evening Children. This is Bron Urgundy, live and direct, kicking off 2018 with another Saturday update.

Our top stories for tonight include:

  • Scandal in the palace: is Empress Joni dating comedian Brian Gosling?
  • Dina Diva's wondrous wig collection
  • @Iverican military aggression: we talk to one of their victims
  • Salmonella scare in @Fleur de Lys
  • @Derthalen: great nation, or greatest nation?
  • Profile on Theresa Tumbleweed , visionary leader of @Sunset Sea Islands

All of this and more, tonight, on Big Story News!

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  • 6 months later...


Good evening soccer fans. I'm Bron Urgundy, and this is BS News.

Our main story tonight: Sunset Sea Islands win UENA World Cup

The @Sunset Sea Islands triumphed over the @Variotan team after penalties to earn their first World Cup title. We went out on the streets and asked some clueless people what they think about this victory. Here is a random montage.

  • “They’re just lucky that @Fleur de Lys wasn’t good enough to qualify for this World Cup.”
    Mr Jean Debroux, random tourist guy
  • “I was hoping for everyone to shake hands at the end, and they did, so I feel like I won as well.”
    Ms Julie Trevor, Andallan treehugger
  • “Oh, goddamnit, I was rooting for both sides!”
    Mr Peter Sutherland, unemployed loiterer

Shocking. Absolutely shocking. 

Meanwhile, after a prolonged disruption in the natural structure of the universe, order has finally been restored: that guy in the office who was always talking about the World Cup is back to doing absolutely nothing. All that rises must one day fall, and now instead of spending his lunch breaks explaining what “in the box” means to a rapt group of coworkers hungry for his esoteric knowledge of “The Beautiful Game,” he has returned to the bowels of corporate anonymity from whence he came. Unto dust he has returned, as one day all of us will.

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  • 1 month later...


Good evening little children and little parents all over the Eurth. I'm Bron Urgundy, and this is BS News.

We start our show with some disturbingly unexpected news:

VARIOTAN CLASSMATES HAVE  difficulty understanding a better educated foreign exchange student. The Huisselant ranks in the bottom 10% of the Edu-tellignce® Test Score. Addressing the glaringly obvious cultural and linguistic differences that have become apparent in the @Variotan classrooms, students at South Reierferplattoterp High School admitted on Thursday that they were experiencing some difficulty in understanding Timo Häkkinen, a far more thoroughly educated foreign exchange student visiting from @Prymont.

“I feel bad because Timo is new to this country and we want him to feel welcome, but every time he speaks, the class gets lost in about five seconds because of the thoroughly informed, nuanced concepts he shares,” said Anderson Valley principal Alexia Naranje regarding Häkkinen, whose nation avoids the almost useless practice of regular standardised testing and pays for the mandatory Masters education required of all Prymontian teachers.

“He always raises his hand respectfully while participating in class discussions, talks about Alharun countries the students have never heard of, and tries to help other students with the basics of math and science, but they just get confused. He even sticks out at lunch because he doesn’t eat cafeteria pizza or patatje oorlog. Timo is very polite about all of it, but he just sticks to vegetables and yoghurt. And it doesn’t help that kids say it’s really hard to understand what he’s talking about due to his precise Variot diction and extensive vocabulary. And he even knows some Ferresprak.”

Naranja remains hopeful that she could still make Häkkinen feel at home, as they were slated to spend time hiding in the same room during next week’s school shooting lockdown drill.

(OOC: This anchorman is not to be taken seriously. He lives only for #fakenews. Should you feel offended by any of this, it's exactly the point. With every update he will try to mock a different nation.)

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Good evening tech wonks. I'm Bron Urgundy, and this is BS News.

KEYPHONE SALES BOOM in @Fulgistan after reports of exploding devices.

Amidst reports of plummeting mobile phone sales, widespread losses, exploding kPhone 8, television sets and washing machines, the @Iverican-based KeyPhone might have found a morally depressing silver lining.

Our correspondent in Alharu understands from his sources that Fulgistani businessmen, investors, realtors and dealers have expressed a great interest to invest in faulty KeyPhone devices.

One Fulgistani businessman, speaking on the condition of anonymity, describes the situation as:

“As one of the biggest traders in my district, I’ve dealt with guns, grenades, IED's. But never has I seen something as innovative as an exploding cell phone. You have no idea how tough it is to smuggle such goods through airports. As it is, our potential recruits are dumb enough to scan themselves, so forget the thought of taking weapons past the scanner. But if we manage to acquire a few phones, this might prove to be revolutionary!”

The subversive elements are overjoyed by the thought of burying washing machines instead of landmines, which they claim are far less expensive and far more beautiful to look at.

Sources also add that business lobbies in Fulgistan wanted their government to import more KeyPhones and washing machines, but they couldn't move forward with their proposal since they aren’t sure who’s running their government.

KeyPhone hasn’t commented on the interest shown by Fulgistanis yet. Sources expect that they will dignify Fulgistan with a non-response, the same way the international community responds to Tomur Almas for his "Mummy! @Variota used my rubber" type of complaints.

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  • 3 weeks later...


Good evening fellow conservatives. My name is Bron Urgundy, and you are watching is BS News.

CITIZENSHIP STARTS AT conception, states the right honourable Mathon Terix, the strong praetor and undisputed leader of the @Rihan Republic. Following their great leader, the Senate or 'Deihuit' of Rihan has reassured citizens of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conceived within Rihan’s borders.

“Going into the debate we weren’t sure how to balance the goals of our pro-life members with those who have an irrational fear of different-skinned babies,” said Senator Mikaella Merkel. “This seemed like a perfect compromise.”

The announcement comes in the wake of a highly controversial motion to end “birthright citizenship” for children, which confers citizenship on all babies born on Rihannsu soil, regardless of their parents’ immigration status.

But some Jardian senators have pivoted from this controversial position. Now, while babies born in Rihan will not automatically be granted citizenship, any person whose father’s sperm fertilized his or her mother’s egg in Rihan will, starting from that point, enjoy this status.

“This new policy will ensure that every Rihannsu fertilized embryo gains the protection and security that a Rihannsu fertilized embryo deserves,” added the Suketh party leader. “We must respect the sanctity of a mommy and a daddy doing a special hug within our borders.” While the policy does not extend to babies conceived abroad but born on Rihannsu soil, he adds his hope that the prospect of lacking a crucial set of human rights will dissuade such babies from choosing to be born in Rihan.

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  • 3 weeks later...


Good evening fellow film fanatics. My name is Bron Urgundy, and I'm also the head film critic for BS News.

TONIGHT I'LL BE reviewing Crazy Rich Orientals, a pioneering romantic drama that bravely explores the theme of mental health in affluent Oriental communities, sending the powerful message that these people may be fabulously wealthy, they may be of Oriental descent, and yes they may be stigmatised as "crazy" due to their psychological disorders. But at the end of the day, they're just like us.

The film follows Orinese economics professor Madegi Chama of the elitist Sirus Business School as she travels to Zuidhaven to meet the family of her boyfriend Kuno Wetati. On the trip she will discover that, not only does the Wetati family operate an extremely successful real-estate empire, but they also suffer from a long history of mental illness.

Initially, when Madegi asks Kuno about this, he is of course evasive. For too many years one could be rich, crazy ór Oriental. But never all three at once. Yet, over the course of the film, Madegi, alongside the viewer, learns to open her mind, all the while teaching Kuno to realise that having various neuroses and coming from a well-to-do Oriental background shouldn't be a source of shame but rather of pride.

This theme of embracing one's identity as wealthy, Oriental and psychological troubled is evidenced in the film's title which reappropriates the once derogatory label "crazy rich Orientals", spinning it as a term for strength and solidarity.

To his credit, director Yonei Michu never sugarcoats the harrowing realities of crazy rich Orientals, showing in uncompromising terms the lavish parties they throw, their wealth tragically enabling them to enact the grandiose visions that continually haunt them.

Indeed, thanks to the sensitive approach of the filmmakers, anyone acquainted with the DSM-5 diagnostic manual can see that Kuno's mother Liyoni clearly has a textbook case of paranoid personality disorder as seen in her pathological mistrust of Madegi and repeated attempts to sabotage any endeavours to marry into the Wetati family. And yet, despite this, the viewer never overlooks the deep underlying humanity.

Ultimately the film serves as a stirring call to arms for viewers to open their hearts to the humanity of extravagantly monied Orientals with mental illness.

Indeed the film bravely continues the tradition of past trailblazing works. From Crazy Stupid Love's depiction of the intimate relationships of low IQ'd simpletons who also struggle with mental problems. To It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World which shines a light on the global failure to treat mental illness.

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  • 3 weeks later...


Good evening fellow foodies. My name is Bron Urgundy, and you are watching is BS News.

LIMONAIAN SCIENTISTS ARE tempting vegetarians with a new cow meat that tastes like vegetable burgers. After years of genetic engineering experiments, scientists from @Limonaia have perfected a cow whose meat is so depressingly bland that it has been approved for consumption by the strict Alharun Vegan Society. Their laboratory is now considering starting a “quasi-vegetarian HcDonald’s” chain of restaurants. A marketing agency from @Girkmand has already pitched an ad campaign showing bearded and sandalled diners declaring: "I can’t believe it’s not Tofu."

The project, which took years of DNA splicing to reach the stage, now produces cows that shed all their meat-like qualities and can be cut into steaks with a carrot slicer. The proud project leader Doctor Dario Tocci says these new cows mark a milestone in dietary harmony which brings the meat and vegetable communities closer together. He says it could also save marriages where one spouse is a vegetarian and the other a carnivore. "People who hesitate at the thought of eating meat have nothing to fear," Dr Tocci assured potential customers at a press conference today. "For all practicality, this animal is just a cabbage with legs."

International corporate backers are also excited by the financial prospects of this new mutant meat, saying the tastiness of meat was what putt off a lot of vegetarians. "But purveyors of lentils and tofu will find it hard to compete with a burger that tastes like wet cardboard," says one enthusiastically approving investor from @Soreana.

Meanwhile, lifelong vegan Sara Camponi says she's keeping an open mind about this groundbreaking development. "At first I was like very sceptical you know," she admits. "But then like I saw the ad for like their sausages -- offal that tastes like broccoli, only worse. I thought like I just might be willing to like give that a try you know."

We end tonight's report with on a more positive note with this joke by some fat hippy. What do you call it when one chickpea murders another? ... Hummus-cide.

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  • 3 weeks later...


Good evening my special spectators. This is Bron Urgundy, and you're tuned into is BS News.

AUTUMN CLEANING IS also hitting the cyberspace. An IT Engineer from @Shffahkia today undertook the long pending task of cleaning his computer desktop, which was cluttered with icons accumulated over 5 years since he joined the company. Joao D. had joined Ataxia Philes Technology right out of university. Just like most trainees, he too was given a new desktop.

“At that time it had only a few icons such as My Computer, Recycle Bin and so on. But thanks to my uncontested leadership in the field of laziness, the entire desktop screen is now covered in icons,” he said, almost feeling proud of his achievement. “There was no space left on the desktop for more icons. I was left with no other option but to free up some space. I had been avoiding this cleanup for quite some time. But now, after seeing everyone clean their homes for Autumn, I thought I’d give it a chance,” Joao added.

The cleaning, which took around 5 hours to complete, resulted in approximately 10 GB of unwanted icons and files being deleted. It also resulted in Joao finding some long-lost items such as PDF of his financial offer which mentions his pay package, much to his own embarrassment.

His deliberate efforts, however, didn’t go unnoticed. The HR department at Ataxia has named him the 'employee of the month'. And, apart from his regular coding job, Joao now has the additional responsibility of cleaning up desktops of all the computer systems in the company.


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  • 1 month later...


Good evening to all you risk-loving adventurers. This is Bron Urgundy and tonight we're going on a journey.

AN INTERNATIONAL RESCUE mission was launched to find Walter "Wally" Sandiego, a 68-year old man from Andro, who has gone missing in the Southern Oriental ocean while attempting to reach "the End of the World". The retired factory worker and famed member of the Flat Eurth Society hoped to demonstrate that the Eurth is actually flat.

The last time Wally was seen was on December 9th in the Niederoestereich port of Ranke. He then sailed southeast towards Antargis. Being absolutely convinced that Antargis is actually only a thin wall of ice surrounding a disc-shaped Eurth, Wally hoped to cross the ice wall and take photographs over the edge of the disc.

Wally was declared missing by his family in Andro after he failed to answer his last three calls with them. Since leaving Orioni in August, Wally called his family every three days using a satellite phone, but he hasn’t called them for the last nine days.

Niederoestereich authorities have taken the Orinese man’s disappearance very seriously and asked neighbouring countries for assistance in locating him. A spokesman of the Niederoestereich Coast Guard says they presume he may have become disoriented while crossing the Equator or perhaps even capsized. According to their estimate, his ship travelled at least 400 nautical miles southeast of Niederoestereich before it encountered problems. But they have little information regarding his actual coordinates.

Orioni, Niederoestereich, the @Sunset Sea Islands and @Miiros have also sent ships and helicopters to help in this search and rescue mission, allocating a total of 7 ships and 12 helicopters. So far the search has remained without result. Despite all the resources dedicated to rescuing him, many experts say it would be a miracle if Wally was found alive.

Wally is a passionate member of the Flat Eurth Society. In a video interview with the site FlatEurth.io recorded in April, he explained having spent more than two years preparing for his sailing journey. His aim was: "To find conclusive scientific evidence that the Eurth is flat, like a dinner plate". Wally also claimed to descend from a proud family with a long history in the navy. He often would describe himself as a "5th generation sailor". His family, however, reluctantly admitted he had never sailed before.

Several psycho-specialists have theorised that this lack of sailing experience could have been a major problem in treacherous 'Burkini Triangle' southeast of Niederoestereich.

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  • 2 weeks later...


Good evening all you good looking viewers. This is Bron Urgundy and you're watching Big Story News.

IT'S MY HONOUR to announce that Henry Redmond, former prince of @Seylos and current leader of Monarch, has officially been named the winner of this news channel’s Sexiest Man Alive Competition for the year 2018.

Prince Henry has won this accolade thanks to his devastatingly handsome features, trendsetting haircuts, his ability to charm his friends and his unparalleled ability to sow discord in Seylos and his strong sturdy frame; this Seylos-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Henry has made this newsroom’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, and of course, that famous smile that literally spells "to die for".

He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time. And that’s the quality that makes him the sort of man that women want, and men want to be. He’s a real hunk with real intensity who also knows how to keep an activist busy.

Thanks to tonight's announcements, Henry joins the ranks of those famous prior "Sexiest Man Alive" winners, which include:

  • 2018: Henry Redmond
  • 2008: Yusama bin Muthaqal
  • 1998: Augustus Bizimungu
  • 1988: Salman Qussayn
  • 1978: Trok Kek Yuk
1968: Ho Qi Namh
  • 1958: Park Il Sung
  • 1948: Joseph Stalman
  • 1938: Adenoid Hynkel

OOC: Another joke story because Redmond is tied to win our poll for biggest baddie in 2018. Voting ends tomorrow. All other names on the list are also based on RL tyrants, butchers or dictators.


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