B.A.A. Technology

[Jaihu]

Greetings... I am Leroy Jenkins-Jaihu, the Junior Under Secretary of State responsible for Technology, Trade, and Tirades for the glorious, magnificant Holy Empire of Jaihu. I am making this presentation to you on behalf of his Royal Jaihuiness, The Grand Pooba himself... King Jaihu the Great.

 

There has been plenty of speculation amongst the foreign press about this strange new technology that the Jaihu have created. Nations from other regions have sent spies in vain attempts to steal it and others have sent Special Forces in ridiculous efforts to destroy it... They have all failed.

 

B.A.A. Technology is nothing that peaceful nations need to fear. It's purpose is that of defence, and it has a 100% success rate in warding off Advanced Intercontinental Ballistic Missile strikes, Cruise Missiles, Stealth bombers and any other Weapons of Mass Destruction that the unrulely evil nations of the world have at their disposal. B.A.A. is a defence system that makes modern WMD as usless as a rubber chicken on the battlefield.

 

Now that The Holy Empire of Jaihu has finished testing of this technology we are willing to enable other nations of Europa and the world to benefit from Jaihuian B.A.A. Technology.

 

If interested in learning more you are invited to a demostration in Rio De Jaihu on December 1, 2004. RSVP is strongly reccommended. The Holy Empire of Jaihu forbids all Foreign Nationals from bringing weapons into the country, you may bring personal security but they must be unarmed.

 

Guests of The Holy Empire of Jaihu stay at the well appointed Royal Crown Suites Hotel in beautiful downtown Rio De Jaihu, where comfort and luxury abounds.

 

That is all...

 

Long Live His Royal Jaihuiness, The Grand Pooba himself... King Jaihu the Great!!!!

 

 

 

[Paranoid schizo]

TARPS will be attending. General Bloodbasher and Air Marshal Biggins will represent our interests.

 

They promise to leave their rubber chicken technology behind.

[Argenland]

The Minister of Defence of Argenland and the Prime Minister are interesting in B.A.A. Technology.

 

The Chief Commander of the Armed Forces of Argenland, the Mariscall Heinze, is going to travell to Rio de Jaihu with a national delegation for the demostration.

[Byzantium Nova]

The Byzantine Empire sends defence minister Staurakios and two members of BMI (Byzantine Military Industries) board to the demonstration.

[Jacob Taren]

A few delegates from Sevrun will be in attendance. We've attempted to create such systems ourselves, but haven't been able to achieve a 100% success rate.

[Phil VII]

Phil IV, as a nation who deplore the militery as a whole, are wholehartedly against this new space age of inter-continental wepons, and are planning to send several delegations of students, scientists, and general rabbles to protest and campaign against such despicable wepons systems outside the conference itself.

 

We wish to make it known that this is a peacful demonstration, and under no circumstances does Phil IV promote any kind of violence!

 

The students on their way to the official planes to Jaihu

[Orioni]

There has been plenty of speculation amongst the foreign press about this strange new technology that the Jaihu have created. [...] If interested in learning more you are invited to a demostration in Rio De Jaihu on December 1, 2004. [...] The Holy Empire of Jaihu forbids all Foreign Nationals from bringing weapons into the country, you may bring personal security but they must be unarmed. [...] Guests of The Holy Empire of Jaihu stay at the well appointed Royal Crown Suites Hotel in beautiful downtown Rio De Jaihu, where comfort and luxury abounds.

Could be a trap to topple every government in Europa. However: Orioni does n?t want to sow any distrust between the nations. We are willing to send several unarmed scentists who will observe what's is happening in Rio De Jaihu and report to the Orioni Government in realtime via our private satelite network. Orioni also wishes to inform that we will keep an eye on the happings, from above.

[Jaihu]

Could be a trap to topple every government in Europa. However: Orioni does n?t want to sow any distrust between the nations. We are willing to send several unarmed scentists who will observe what's is happening in Rio De Jaihu and report to the Orioni Government in realtime via our private satelite network. Orioni also wishes to inform that we will keep an eye on the happings, from above.

TSK TSK TSK

 

"How can the Orioni be so distrustful of the Jaihu that they think such paranoid thoughts??" asks the Supreme Jaihuian Council.

 

Greetings... I am Leroy Jenkins-Jaihu, the Junior Under Secretary of State responsible for Technology, Trade, and Tirades for the glorious, magnificant Holy Empire of Jaihu. I am making this presentation to you on behalf of his Royal Jaihuiness, The Grand Pooba himself... King Jaihu the Great.

 

If the Jaihu were easily offended, which we are not, we would take great exception to the remarks from Europa's Honorable United Nations Delegate. The Holy Empire of Jaihu however wishes to assure the Orioni that such thoughts were never considered, the Jaihu are a peaceful people only wishing to extend peace and tranquility throughout the Europa Region and beyond to the World.

 

On to more pressing concerns... The test will consist of a "live fire" exercise with a series of 6 cruise missiles being launched from the Royal Jaihuian Airforce Base in Zao Jaihu targeted at populated areas in Rio De Jaihu. There will be no safety net, if the B.A.A. Technology fails to disable these Cruise Missiles... Rio De Jaihu will become but a memory along with all souls inside the city of 10 million.

 

The Supreme Jaihuian Council, King Jaihu the Great and all the Junior Under Secretay of States are co confident of the success of this test that we will also be in Rio De Jaihu for this test.

 

In closing... When King Jaihu the Great was asked about the intelligence of planning such a risky "live fire" exercise in such a heavily populated area... His magnificent answer was: "This is why we are planning to do the test at night."

 

That is all...

 

Long Live His Royal Jaihuiness, The Grand Pooba himself... King Jaihu the Great!!!!

 

[Orioni]

Guests of The Holy Empire of Jaihu stay at the well appointed Royal Crown Suites Hotel in beautiful downtown Rio De Jaihu, where comfort and luxury abounds.

The test will consist of a "live fire" exercise with a series of 6 cruise missiles being launched from the Royal Jaihuian Airforce Base in Zao Jaihu targeted at populated areas in Rio De Jaihu. There will be no safety net, if the B.A.A. Technology fails to disable these Cruise Missiles... Rio De Jaihu will become but a memory along with all souls inside the city of 10 million.

Do you understand now why I am concerned!?

 

Orioni's obsevers will keep their distance while we prepare especially equipped vessels of the Orioni Red Cross, just in case the technology of Jaihu does fail.

[Tamurin]

The Republic of Tamurin will send the vice-minister of defense to the life-fire demonstration.

 

The minister of defense will remain in Alaghon to prepare several squadrons of helicopters and transport aircrafts in case of a national catastrophe in Jaihu, since you pointed out that Europa could face a destroyed city with 10 million dead or wounded.

 

I strongly recommend you use cruise missiles without warheads targeting something less dangerous, like an uninhabited mountain or a lake. We, too, are very into weapons and weapon development and we know that no weapon has a success rate of 100 percent.

[Phil VII]

Phil IV heavily condemns the use of civilieans as live test subjects for a militery demonstration! this is against everything the UN and the words ''human rights'' stand for at the highest possible level!

 

Phil IV has is deeply disturbed by Jaihus complete disregard for his peoples safety, if he regards his own cities as pure test subjects, then what does he regard the rest of Europa, and even the world as! Phil IV is taking a stance against the country of Jaihu, and hopes that others will stand by us in our position for human rights in Europa!

[Jaihu]

Hello... This is King Jaihu The Great, but you can call me Stanley D'Jaihu or better yet... Stan "the Man" D'Jaihu, 5 time World Jaihu Red Crested Swan Wrestling Champion.

 

I wish to thank the nations of Europa for pointing out that the plan to use Rio De Jaihu and the citizens of The Holy Empire of Jaihu as "live test subjects" was not the most prudent or ethical method of testing our new Jaihuian B.A.A. Technology. To be honest, the planning of this test up until this point had been the responsibility of low level bureaucrats and idiots in the Supreme Jaihuian Council too incompetent to find employment in the private sector. Please be assured that I was as shocked as you that this was in fact the plan and took swift action to sack those responsible.

 

We further regret to inform those nations of Europa and the world that had made plans to travel to Rio De Jaihu on December 1, 2004 that the demostration has been cancelled pending review of the testing process. We will also be auditing the claims of earlier tests to determine if the success rate claimed by those tests were accurate.

 

This incident has uncovered a flaw in the governance of the Holy Empire of Jaihu that I admit is a little embarassing. Statements that have been attributed to me in the past regarding the safety of performing these kinds of tests at night were not in fact accurate, I had not made any sort of statements regarding this program prior to this release.

 

I wish to assure the good people of The Holy Empire of Jaihu, the concerned Leaders of Europa, the United Nations and the citizens of the world that King Jaihu the Great respects the values of the United Nations, The Holy Empire of Jaihu respects "Human Rights" and that the Supreme Jaihuian Council will be reformulated to ensure that only those completely qualified to actively be involved in the government will be in critical positions of power.

 

On a personal level, this incident has highlighted the need for me to become more actively involved with the day to day operations of the Jaihuian government. I will be reorganizing my government so that government ministries are headed by qualified individuals that will answer directly to me. Gone are the days of the Junior Under Secretary of state who speaks for the Holy Empire of Jaihu after a few rounds at the corner pub.... There will me more accountability or heads will roll.

 

Good day and God Bless the Jaihuian People.

 

[Mongol-Swedes]

The Tribal Tribunal of the Socialist Tribal Alliance of Mongol-Swedes has issued a statement of gross disapproval of King Jaihu's ability to handle his own government and hopes that, in the future, he will be able to prevent the sort of violations against basic human rights that elements within the government had been planning, and wishes him better vigilance.