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Paranoid Schizos march into plot 67


Paranoid schizo

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At 01:00 hrs this morning, the military might of The Armed Republic of Paranoid Schizos was mobilized and ordered into plot 67.

The reason for this is National Security.

24 hour Combat Air Patrols are in operation backed up by Airborne Early Warning Systems.

The 3rd Carrier Battle Group has put to sea and established a total exclusion zone extending 5 miles from the coast of plot 67, which will be merged with our great country.

 

1st and 4th Shock Army and the 54th Airmobile Brigade have struck deep into the territory, encountering little resistance.

 

The indigenous population are wary, but welcoming.

 

A 'hearts and minds' campaign is underway and a promise to modernise and harmonise this new area of Paranoid Schizos has been pledged.

 

A total reporting blackout is in force and will be reviewed daily.

 

All other nations are urged to allow us to go about our business with no interference. Our forces will not fire until fired upon.

 

So far the plan has gone well with only a handful of casualties experienced within the Task Force.

 

 

 

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In deference to our erstwhile neighbour and in the interests of harmonious relations, the following statement has been released:

 

"For several months, the area previously known as plot 67 has been identified as the jumping off point for several atrocities that have been committed on the citizens of Paranoid Schizos.

It was decided by the President to eliminate this problem once and for all and at the same time provide more living space for those citizens.

A total of 4 terrorist bases were identified, placed under surveillance and last night, destroyed. We have several prisoners who are currently providing us with information.

Our forces suffered 27 dead and 44 wounded, 15 of the dead being as a result of a midair collision between a troop transport and an air superiority fighter.

The operation has been a complete success and we assure the Byzantines and all other legitimate Governments that they have nothing to fear.

Our forces are laagered but are still combat ready."

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Official annoucement by the office of the president of Tamurin:

 

The president of Tamurin wishes to congratulate the armed forces of Paranoid Schizos for the swift and fast operation in zone 67. Tamurin hopes that the great nation of Paranoid Schizos will now live free and without fear.

 

However, the very fast and surprising action did cause some concern here. The president would like to suggest that all nations of Europa inform the leaders of the other nations before they start such a huge military operation. This would make sure that nobody would make a wrong assessment of the situation.

The president understands that military operations can't be announced officially, but at least the leaders of the surrounding nations should know about something like that.

 

Our condolences go to the families of the brave soldiers who died in this campaign.

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The President thanks the Byzantine and Tamurin government for thier kind words.

The reporting ban has been lifted as has the no-fly zone. However the exclusion zone remains in force as we are building harbours and using sea borne transports for the re-building programme which is already underway.

 

It is not feasible or likely that any country will telegraph military intentions. The Paranoid Schizo government hopes the great Tamurin people understand this.

 

There has been a car bomb detonated in the city of Pompey, killing 3 civilians and a car carrying more exposives was stopped and the occupants killed in a firefight with our soldiers, on it's way to Landewi Breffi. These are isolated incidents and related to our recent action.

 

As the re-building programme gathers pace and our troops begin their withdrawl, we firmly believe these fanatical attacks will stop.

 

It is now safe for foreign observers to enter the new land and witness for themselves the improvements and honourable way our forces are conducting themselves. Invitations are hereby extended to the U.N. and our Great neighbour, the Byzantines, to join us in the field.

 

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Innformal Message of Argenian Government

 

The Prime Minister sends his condolences to the families of this heroics soldiers and offers the 25th and 26th Tacticals Bombers Squadrons of the A.A.F. (Argenian Air Force) to take part of the conflict and help to the Paranoid Schizos's Army.

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It is an honour to have such a renowned and heroic division as 'The Fighting 3rd' working alongside us. Hopefully it will be a short detachment, but rest assured, a popular one for your troops. They will be made very welcome and with your permission, will be posted to the Southern sector to protect the 79th Engineering Regiment, who have commenced a road and rail building project. This will enable soldiers of the 54th Airmobile division to rotate back to their bases after being involved in counter-insurgency operations.

 

As the need for concerted air strikes has diminished, we gratefully thank the Argenland Government for their offer of 2 such elite squadrons, but decline. However, as you were willing to commit forces to us in our hour of need, we hope this cements a friendship between our nations.

The President does not forget his friends and allies.

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Message to the president of Paranoid Schizo

 

I understand your position that you can't risk the secrecy of your military operations by informing others.

 

I trust your leadership and I am sure that you will successfully deal with the problems your nation is facing.

 

However, if you had informed me before this campaign, Tamurin would've had the possibility to support you, back you up. Tamurin does not have such battle hardened units like the Byzantine government, but for "low-profile-missions" we could have supported you, so you would have more troops to carry out "high-profile-missions".

 

I hope that your campaign will end soon and succesfull and that the rebuilding process will create a new and stable neighbour for you.

 

If you need any assistance in rebuilding an independent police force, the Republic of Tamurin will be honoured to help.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The President is pleased to announce an official end to all hostilities in our newly liberated lands.

 

The exclusion zone has been lifted and the rebuilding programme is going ahead virtually unmolested.

 

There have been instances of terrorist attacks against civilian and military targets, but casualties are few and those responsible have been hunted down and dealt with.

 

We formally thank those that have offered assisstance and assure you that such aid will be reciprocated.

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    • By Tagmatium Rules
      Spring was finally coming to Gournaion, the capital of the island of Efmoseia and the nation of the Hexanisa. It had been a hard winter across all of northern Europa and even the western countries of Machina @Haruspex and Tagmatium had suffered in the coldest weather in decades. Despite being the two most functional nations in either the Occident or Burania, many of their citizens had died in the cold weather and parts of them had been cut off due to the deep snow and blizzards. In the band of six large islands and innumerable smaller ones that marked the division of the Thalassa ton Kataigidon (Sea of Storms) and the waters of inner Europa, the weather had been especially hard because the islands had very little resources of their own to call upon. Some of the small fishing villages and semi-permanent logging camps that made up the settlements on the exposed northern coasts of the islands had to be completely abandoned. Vessels and aircraft from the Stolos, the militarised coast guard, were now going out to assess the damage to the settlements and to see if the inhabitants could return. The weather had been a shock after the warm temperatures of the summer and very few people had been prepared for anything other than the usual winter weather, although that was always quite harsh. The economic damage would have to be counted before the country could move forward. The long cold winter had delayed the planting of crops and prevented fishing for weeks when the fleets should have been out laying pots for crab or trawling for Adlantic salmon. Whilst the people of the Six Islands were unlikely to starve over the coming months, the finances of the country and its inhabitants would suffer. The last decade hadn't been kind to the Hexanisa and it seemed like the start of the new one wasn't going to be great, either.
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    • By Tagmatium Rules
      As Droungariokomes (Commodore) Sofia Ooryfaina looked the bay and the town of Basilikolimanion that was nestled around it, there were several things that struck her.
      The first was that was a good, sheltered anchorage for ships, and the concrete wharves that jutted into the bay would make the unloading of equipment easier. So long as they were still in good condition, although they likely wouldn't have been used intensively for decades. They could well be corroded and weakened by years of being battered by the elements and unable to take much heavy equipment moved across them.
      The second was that the large cathedral and equally large palace were incongruous amidst the dilapidated and crumbling houses and industrial buildings. They were from a significantly more prosperous time, when the Hermitages were at the centre of Arhomaneia's whaling industry a century ago. The islands where then, briefly, used for coal and iron ore mining until the Long War made it too dangerous for ships to cross. An attempt was made thirty or forty years ago to restart the mining, but it was deemed uneconomical to ship it across the Sea of Storms. She couldn't tell what state the wharves were in from out where her ship was. Or the palace and the cathedral, as they were just dark silhouettes against the the bare rock and small patches of vegetation that made up the hinterland behind the main settlement of the Hermitages.
      The third was that it looked bloody cold out there. The wind was whipping off the tops of the waves and it looked like there was snow in the air.
      “No sign of any life?” She asked the ship's captain, or Droungarios in her nation's naming conventions, taking her binoculars from her eyes and turning to her left to look over her shoulder. His name was Eufemios Kamoteros and he looked like the typical Basilikoploimon officer – smartly turned out in his black uniform, with a dark beard that was starting to show edges of grey. He was of below average height, not much taller than Ooryfaina herself. Both of them had regulation short hair and were wrapped up against the cold, despite being on the bridge of the command ship of the mission.
      “None from the Foussatores or Vestiaritai, Kyriossa,” came the reply from the officer standing at her left shoulder. The Border Guard and the Financial Guard respectively, they were only on the island to protect what little Arhomaneia considered to be of worth on islands. Which was little. “The monks, though, have acknowledged our approach. I've asked them to get in contact with the others.”
      Droungariokomes Ooryfaina gave a heavy sigh. The need for secrecy and the speed at which the operation was assembled meant that it hadn't been able to contact the remote stations that kept the Tagmatine claims to the faraway islands alive. It also didn't help that the islands were considered such a backwater deployment by the organisations in charge of them that it would probably have taken weeks for them to contact their subordinates on the islands. It was considered by the Epistrategaion to just contact them once the flotilla was close enough to the island. It could well have been something of an oversight on the part of the High Command.
      “Well, keep having your people try them, Droungarios. I don't want any unfortunate accidents taking place.” The Droungariokomes turned away and walked over to the windows on the bridge's starboard side to look at the handful of vessels that were following the cruiser BPP Trapezon she was on.
      Three tenders, filled with supplies and equipment to establish a proper base on the island, as well as a troop ship with a Apelatai regiment on it. Although it had initially been deemed a risk to withdraw a unit from the western border, the elite infantry were equipped and prepared to deal with the harsh conditions this far north. There were two corvettes and a destroyer accompanying the flotilla, watching for any ships or aircraft that might have suspicious intentions. A pair of submarines lurked nearby, acting as an unseen screening force. A conspicuously civilian vessels with too many antennas lurked between the tenders and the troop ship. It was from the Arhomaiki Noimosyni Dykton and other than its presence and its immediate movements, no one had explained to the Droungariokomes what it was going to be doing.
      Ideally, the attention of the Gharoi would be on both Corinium or the Prognostikator watching them in the Thalassa ton Kataigidon, the Sea of Storms. No one should really have seen anything as the Tagmatine ships slipped anchor in the various ports on the Kentriki Thalassa, the Central Sea and then amassed on the eastern side of the island of Vanarambion. They kept to international waters as best as they could as they did so. The vessels then made their way north by slipping through the Fillipou Thalassa, the Kosscow Sea and between the islands of the Hexanesa under the cover of darkness. Nights were still long at this time of year and this latitude. The flotilla was approaching from the east, in order to try to further escape any possible prying eyes from other countries. The few ships they had seen were trawlers, although you could never be sure.
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      As the Droungariokomes ruminated on the chances that Arhomaneia might kick off something bigger with establishing direct control to the northern islands, another officer leaned over to the Droungarios and muttered in his ear. He nodded and turned to Ooryfaina.
      “It looks like we still can't get a hold of anyone but the monks, Kyriossa, but they've sent someone over to to warn the Foussatores and the Vestiaritai,” he said, a frown on his face. “Apparently it's common, or at least common enough, that someone's radio goes down and they rely on the others to communicate.”
      Ooryfaina grunted. “Good start.”
      The other officer shrugged. “As good as any, really. I suppose it can't be expected that this out-of-the-way shithole would be up to scratch. They have to get everything sent up to them and it's not like any of them are trained military.”
      “Well, two of them are law enforcement of some sort,” the Droungariokomes said, shaking her head and walking over towards the windows in the bridge that looked towards the islands. “The buggers should really have their shit together a lot more. Especially out here.”
      “It'll be a shock when two-odd thousand pissed off soldiers start stomping around the island,” replied the captain, a grin showing through his beard. The smile disappeared and was replaced by a more serious look. “The monks also suggest that we use the eastern wharf, as the western one is a bit degraded.”
      “What's 'a bit degraded'” the female officer asked her subordinate, turning towards him, eyebrow raised.
      “They didn't really say,” the other replied, with a shrug. “I suppose that we'll have to see as soon as we get there.”
      Both of them turned to look towards the island. It was low down towards the sea but rose up towards the north east to a hill. A glacier covered the mountain and below that, bare rock. They were much closer now, able to see the individual houses that made up much of the settlement, as well as the walls of the fortress. Most of the houses were little more than ruins. The palace and the cathedral were easily seen.
      “They call it the Palati ton Oston,” said Kamoteros. “Pretty ominous. Apparently, they made much of the flooring and door frames out of whalebone, from all the years of hunting.”
      Again, the more senior officer grunted in reply.
       
       
      The BPP Trapezon was too large to moor directly alongside the wharves, as it was much bigger than the colliers and iron ore cargo ships it had been designed for, some seventy or more years ago. That didn't bode too well for the plans to bring the port itself up to the standards necessary for acting as the Europan end of the Argic trade route. But, Ooryfaina considered as she stood in ready to climb out of the ship's boat she had left the cruiser in, it was likely already known by the Agios Basilikon Kounsistorion. The iron rungs of the ladder from the water level up to the top of the wharf were slippery, corroded and occasionally missing. She almost lost her grip a couple of times. Getting a dip in the frigid Thalassa ton Kataigidon was not something that she was planning on doing today. As she hauled herself onto the top of the wharf, a band struck up the Arhomaiki national anthem.
      Badly.
      The smell of incense wafted over the sea air and was whipped away by a strong wind and she looked towards where the music was coming from. The band was made up of ten musicians, half in the winter uniform of the border guard and half in that of the financial guard. It did not sound like they had every practised together. A group of monks, well wrapped in winter gear, were waving thymiata and carrying holy relics to bless the new arrivals. Striding towards the Droungariokomes was an elderly-looking priest carrying a crozier and with a mitre perched on a woolly hat, followed by what must be the two senior officers of the enforcement agencies that occupied the Herimitireia. They seemed to be having a typically Aroman struggle over who would greet her first in their order of seniority. The border guard could trace their roots to the forces that conquered Europa and Amutia whilst the financial guard were, strictly speaking, a unit of the Tagmata. Thus the two officers were surreptitiously trying to step in front of the other. Soon it was likely going to come to elbows jabbed in ribs.
      “Welcome to the Herimitireia,” said the Arkhiepiskopos Dorothios Maliasenos, vapour from his breath curling away in the wind. He gave an appraising glance over Ooryfaina's rank tabs. “It is rare that we get anyone from the Basilikoploimon here, let alone a droungariokomes. Usually, it's a ship chartered from a civilian firm that drops of supplies for us. A supply tender for them comes from the navy but it's never someone of such a rank.”
      The archbishop punctuated the last part of the statement with a jab of a gloved hand over his shoulder. The two behind him had finished their bickering but waited until the archbishop had finished talking to the naval officer. The statement of the archbishop seemed to be a bit dismissive of the other two officers but she couldn't quite tell.
      “And now you arrive with that,” he said, giving a nod towards the flotilla sat in the bay.
      “Yes, your beatitude,” replied Ooryfaina. “The Agios Basilikon Kounsistorion has decided that it is time for the Herimitireia to truly become part of Arhomaneia again.”
      A pretty pompous line. The naval officer winced internally almost as soon as she said it.
      “Some of it has already been explained to me by a communication from emailed over to me,” the archbishop said. “I am not sure I wholehearted approve, for many reasons. For one, we have got used to the peace and tranquillity of these islands. I rather it wasn't disturbed by building work, ships or soldiers.”
      “I believe that will come a bit later, your beatitude,” the Droungariokomes replied. “I'm not sure when but I think that, considering what the Gharoi and Seilosioi have done, I imagine it will be soon. I'm not in charge of the building work, just securing the islands.”
      Again, the expression on what little of the archbishop's face was visible between his beard and his woolly hat was unreadable. He turned on his heel without another word and started to walk back down the wharf towards his waiting entourage, who were still waving incense and chanting. Ooryfaina found herself staring after him, frowning. She hadn't been told anything about the Church disapproving of the increase in activity on the islands but, as she had said to the archbishop, that wasn't really her problem. Her job was to stop any other nation to trying to meddle in the affairs of the island.
      Another woolly hat bobbed into view, but this with a tall domed hat crammed on top of it.
      “Tribounos Pankratoukaina Tzamplakonissa of the Foussatores,” said the well wrapped little shape that lay under the hat. From the name, Ooryfaina guessed that the speaker was female but the amount of clothes rendered any physical appearance hard to discern. And in order to nip any pretensions of the other officer being anything other than inferior to the speaker, they continued. “And this is Komes Theognostos Maroules.”
      The other officer narrowed his eyes at the slight but gave a half-bow towards the naval officer.
      “Welcome to the edge of the Eurth, Droungariokomes,” the shorter figure said, with unnecessary dramatics. “We'll get you and your staff somewhere warm.”
    • By Iverica
      Wow its been a minute, ammiright, but hell last 2 times we expanded it was like Bang, you know what I'm sayin'? No? I'm not high I swear. I'm just making this as cancerous as possible at your expense.

      Ok for real, I'm gonna do this proper before anyone thinks I'm getting sweet bootylicious clay just by virtue of being staff. In this post I'm going to:
      Show the community how my previous expansions have gone (hence: why I deserve to be trusted on this one). Tell you why this isn't actually a really big expansion (or even much of an expansion at all) Tell you what I'm planning and seeing if anyone has anything to say about it. Explain why all this makes sense unless you're a smooth brain. 1. Big Boi Numba Wan: Ivy-wyvy's messy wessy expansions UwU
      a. Ultramares (we gots a tiny island kawaii)
      What Happened: Iverica got it via referendum. Made a couple of (decent detail) news posts (more below the linked one) for it back when the regs weren't so strict. But we have been using it in actual RP like in the Asta L'Vasqqa Part 1: State of the REEEeepublic (link below). Its also been used in more news since then and is used in my iiwiki pages.
      b. The MADDAFAKKIN IBERIC FEDCOM BYATCHES (or: Iverica writes 2 novellas OwO whats this?)
      What Happened: THIS Boi and This THICC BOi. Capping it off with a little encyclopedia style post. Basically the Iberic states become one thicc glubal EU like power and it gets used like a ton of times. Yes it has a pretty basic iiwiki page as do all the states of the FedCom with individual pages.
      2. Its Not Really An Expansion Tho >.> eat my socks omnom
      The areas we want are super duper uuper tiny my dude and they like-totally like have no:
      a. Permanent Population: Anyone live there?
      XxxDOUBTxxX.
      b. Resources: at least none that we would exploit. Point: deees monies not gonna go into de borsa nononono seniorrrrrr.
       
      3. Whats the Plan Stan? The big idearr, the buzz in yer bumper, the bulge in your Blitzkrieg, the bung in your bumho—
      So you may have seen some posts talking about a certain project. Project Adlantis: North and South. The goal is for Iverica to build some bootylicious bases on bumfuck nowhere places because—strategic value? Trade route security? Investor confidence? Political posturing? Increased glubal committment? Smol stuff like that. Nothing important. 
      New Phone, Where dis?
       
      Lighthouse Island, Corinium
       

      Diego Gracias Island, N of @Gallambria
      THE Plan: IC'ly Iverica will be coordinating with local governments (Gallambria and South Corinium) and rapidly put military infrastructure down on the islands. Lighthouse Island will likely be leased with permission from the S. Corinium ( @Seylos) government given that Iverica only recognises the Southern government ( perhaps @Haruspex may have some IC ideas how this will go down since its contested territory). As for Diego Gracias, no one lives there last I checked. I've also talked to Gallambria about this. No issues so far. 
      To solidify the expansion with posts I only plan to do a few RP posts briefly going over what we're building. Since these are so tiny and this is hardly an expansion in terms of size or resource value, I suppose those will suffice. I've got my ears open to any com-mentos though.
      To make this whole song and dance worthwhile, there will be some secondary attempts Iverica will make at putting down supply stations ( a max of 2) on close by reefs (1 north, and 1 south probs) and not in anyone's exclusive economic zone or even contiguous zone so don't you worry your little head.
      Heads up: Some of the work (like building some prefab stuff and gathering equipment, I will write to have happened a couple months back already. Why? Because I'm not waiting a full fucking year for the bare bones of two naval bases thanks.
       
      4. SO WHATS IN THE BOX MAN??! WHATS IN THE BOXXXXXX/X///1/1EQKLWNJ
      NO SERFS, NO MONIES? Whats in it for Ivy? El simplicado my amigbro: 
      a. OOC Reason: Closer to the action. Its really expensive and hard to justify constant naval expeditions into the Adlantic. These bases will mean we have an anchor to make our RPs in the area more realistic and more realistic.
       
      b. IC Reason: [1] I think its important to realise that ships don't normally operate waaay outside of waters near a friendly base that can render aid or supply. If your ship gets into a boo-boo 3,000 km away from a friendly base of allied nation, who's going to help you? The ooga-boogas? Bruh, they're more likely to sell your organs. Enjoy the free ice bath that comes with it. Logistics are the foundation of operations—no logi=stupid ops, stupid commanders. [2] Another thing: with growing trade with @Tagmatium Rules, Iverican pledges to support Polar activity, and not to mention Iverica's part in securing Corinium. All these reasons equals galaxy brain: we have skin the game mudderpuckerrrr.
       
      Additional Hypothetical FAQ:
      Q: Iberica, how u appord dis?
      A: With a budget.
      Srs: I haven't even dented infrastructure budget in years. Even if I decreased my military spending by 25% we could still afford this. In the posts I've already made, I've shown that Iverica wants to hire local businesses to support the projects.
      Q: Won't the closest indigenous groups hate you?
      A: Maybe. But we're hiring them. So they can hate us while they help us.
      Q: IBURCA, how u justipie dis? Politikally.
      A: Seecuuuuuuuring trade and Polar Roooooooooooooutes, diplomatic committments, the fact that Europa is flexing and TRIDENT was founded precisely to pre-emptively unfuck the fucked up shenanigans that are certainly coming.
      Q: C'est très irréaliste, honhonhon, vous paysan, vous ne savez rien de la géopolitique!!! Mon dieu!
      A: Really? Try China string of pearls? Nine-dash line? Ring any bells. Remember the only reason why people are really incensed are because the the UNCLOS territorial overlaps. Not the actual bases. Further, people have been doing this for decades like the Diego Garcia atol among the scores of other islands. 
      ---
       
      OOC: damn son, you gotta try this organic shit. Also, I may have misspelled some stuff. idgaf. I dunno man. I'm just tryinna haff fun. Fancy a shag?
       
      Also: if there are complaints while I'm doing everything I just mentioned up there, I am not gonna hear it. If you don't like the way I twerk, you better say so soon or forever hold your piece. If you're concerned make sure you read it. Mwahahahaha, now you see the genious of making the whole post cancer. Now you have to reread it.
       
       
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