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The Wishing Well


Orioni
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Wish granted. You have a very cute girlfriend. She is into all sort of cute things, like cute dogs and going shopping for cute clothes. She messages you all the time with cute questions and expects you to reply instantly. When you get home she wants you to tell her how cute she is and what it is you like about her. She is also wants to know why you aren't also more cute. She starts to buy cute clothes for you to wear: pink and fluffy and two sizes smaller than normal. She wants to buy a cute house made of candy. She doesn't think your computer is cute and you are kicked off the internet.

 

I wish for Putin to kiss with Xi and Trump and make love not war.

Edited by Magnaeus (see edit history)
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Your wish is granted. Another species in another galaxy has discovered FTL travel. They are having a lot of fun with it, and they don't want to share their toy.

 

I wish for a great and strong Sa Haran Caliphate!

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Granted. Sa Hara expands and grows stronger. That angers Derthalen and the rest of the Christian nations. They unite into a Holy Europan Empire and their pope calls for a crusade against Sa Hara. This is the start of a great war which causes tens of millions of fatalities on both sides and marks the demise of several world powers, including Sa Hara. Well done, you have played yourself.

 

I wish for the RL European Union to unite into a single nation. vlag_europa.gif

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Granted. You didn't specify which package. You learn that you will die because someone sends you explosives in a parcel. You know exactly when you will die and that your death won't be pleasant at all. Now you need to live with that knowledge and wait for the day of your inevitable demise.

 

I wish for a pleasant thing in my life.

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Your wish has been granted. The pleasant thing you wished for finally appears in your life. It is overwhelming at first, but you manage to cope with the joy. Over time though, the fun wears of. You realise the chase was better than the catch. What first was pleasant, now turns into a daily confrontation with your unfulfilled potential. (Oh man, these replies really turn into philosophy after a while.)

 

I wish for a few extra days off so I can get all of my chores done, and not have them linger in the back of my mind.

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Granted. You are happy with the time you have got on your hands, but what do people do when they have multiple days off? They procastinate. You do some fun stuff on the first couple of days but over time the amount of chores you have to do increases and the amount of free time you have left decreases. On the last day you finally do some chores, but you're nowhere near done with all of them. You have to go back to work and instead of being more relaxed, you're more stressed because you have more in the back of your mind than before.

 

I wish for more rain.

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Thy wish be granted by the grace of God. It begins to rain lightly at first, but as the days go on the rains increase in quantity. First the low countries are flooded, then they are submerged. By the 32nd day most of Europe has become part of the ocean, and by the 92nd day the last land on Earth is the tip of Mt. Everest. You are now alone as the rains continue, and you will surely be submerged within the hour.

 

I wish for an explosion.

Edited by Derthalen (see edit history)
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Wish granted. An old star explodes in another galaxy. You won't ever see it happen. By the time the light arrives on Earth, you are already gone.

 

I wish someone would make a map of my nation.

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S O O N.

Shivers run down your spine. This ominous word has found it's way into your head and it got stuck there. The feeling of a mysterious event approaching makes you curious. You can't wait. But you need to be patient. The anticipation is slowly driving you insane.

 

I wish for the next international space station to be a shining example of what humanity is able to accomplish by working together.

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Granted. Slaves from every one of Earth's puny former nations, labour away dying in the millions to build our new alien overlord's space dock for Earth. No one race or creed being more important than another, but all serving as a disposable cog in a giant machine.

 

I wish I had the powers of the Fonz.

Edited by Derthalen (see edit history)
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Wish granted. The new features are so modern that they start to attract thousands of new members. Large investors become wary of the website and try to put you under pressure to sell the forums to them. They start to stalk you to force you to sell the rights. Europa isn't what it was before and it newer will be the way it was again.

 

I wish for mankind to solve the problem of climate change.

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Granted. Huge factory complexes are built to generate green house gasses while giant mirrors reduce the amount of sunlight hitting the planet. Everything is dark and it is hard to breath, but the climate is the same.

 

I wish for terrorists everywhere to do the Charleston every five minutes no matter the situation.

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user posted image

 

Wish granted. Within the next 5 minutes, terrorists all over the world will begin dancing the Charleston. People gather around them, stunned by the sudden spectacle. Little do they know that each and every one of them is a shoe bomber.

 

I wish for excellent weather over my location on Sunday for the duration of the concert.

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  • 11 months later...

Your wish is granted by the almighty sungod. The weather is excellent. The crowd is in extasy. The concert is a great success. You are stuck in security at the gate because you look suspicious and made a bad joke about how "this concert is the bomb".

I wish for to receive the new Playstation 5.

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  • 2 years later...

Wish granted! You receive it by Chronopost and you unpack the package impatiently. But the Chronopost delivery is so catastrophic that you discover that your Playstation 5 is broken into a thousand pieces. So you file a complaint against Chronopost but you are accused of defamation and end up in jail.

 

I wish to use the TARDIS to go to New Orleans in the 1950s.

Edited by San Castellino (see edit history)
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3 hours ago, Theaca said:

Granted. You are the god of dust bunnies and other useless trivialities.

 

I wish I could see the early cretaceous period.

Wish Granted! You are now in the Early Cretaceous Period. Permanently.

I wish for a single apple.

Edited by Metztlitlaca
Forgot a Full Stop (see edit history)
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Wish granted! You eat your apple and find it good. But because the apple is full of pesticides, you get blood cancer and die after a few months.

 

I wish San Castellino to have all the oil wells in the wurld.

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Wish granted! You start drilling for oil, only to notice the sound of rumbling tanks, as the Americans invade your country to take your oil install a democratic, CIA-backed leader.

I wish for a fancy car.

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Wish granted! You drive your fancy car and are happy to drive it. But a communist revolution breaks out while you're in your car and the revolutionaries think you're rich. So they imprison you while they await your trial. A week later, you go to court. The new judicial system must really be very effective since you are sentenced to death for "crime against the proletariat" only ten seconds after you enter the courtroom.


I wish I could sing as well as Little Richard.

Edited by San Castellino (see edit history)
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Wish granted ! You can now sing like Little Richard and you have the same voice as him. So people think that you are his reincarnation and the only one religion is Little Richard. To honor their god, the people who follow the LIttle Richard religion burn you on the public place of Soupex a beautiful and peaceful village where dogs eat the cars.

I wish i could die.

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