Jump to content

PIRILAO News Section


Pirilao
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 35
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

news.gif

 

02 / 02 / 2006

 

LANDEIRA island with difficulties of supplying

 

Due to the cancellation of the trips of the ship of merchandises

The Landeira island , is to face a rupture in the supplying of merchandises due to the cancellations of the maritime linkings, provoked for bad weather. In accordance with the chairman of the board of the Island, Dom Eus?bio, the transport ship of merchandises, that had to scale the Landeira biweekly, brought alongside for the last time in that island the 29of last January. The bad climat?ricas conditions seem to be in the origin of the cancellations of the linkings foreseen for 25 and 31 of January. In a craft sent to the regional secretary of the Economy, Dom Eus?bio demands that the ship must effect a scale "urgently" in the Flowers, "to be reply the normality of the supplying to the populations and the companies". The same letter advances that "they all lack the type of good of consumption in the local commerce", with special incidence in that respects the milky fruits, vegetables and products. The gas butane for domestic consumption also is in lack.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

03 / 02 / 2006

 

Sex offenders find themselves 'cut off' from any ability to repeat their crimes, voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot, naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, and retiring citizens are dragged away in the middle of the night by mysterious men in black suits.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

 

07 / 02 / 2006

 

Rupture of one saves water provokes chaos, in capital Alentejo

The rupture of a water behavior, did not compel to the cut of the circulation automobile, but the entrance in the city transtornou still more. The rupture was provoked by a retroescavadora.

The WP(water PIRILAO) already decided the problem.

The guilt was of a retroescavadora of one of the companies who work in the workmanships of the tunnel of the EUS?BIO. During the works it reached a water behavior that started to flood the streets that give to access ? square and as the rupture was same enters the crossing of the Sources PARDAL with the MELRO, the accesses had been immediately conditional. The transit never arrived to be cut, but the circulation was done with bigger slowness. Bigger upheavals had had the inhabitants and the commercial houses of the roundnesses, that had been private during some hours of water supply. While the poles of the WP worked, two cars of firemen with about a dozen of elements guaranteed that the situation hand was uncontrolled. The WP guarantees that since the one of the afternoon all the houses already will have water and the rupture is completely controlled.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

08 / 02 / 2006

 

Employers may fire workers without giving any reason, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students, and citizens are regularly shot for parking on the double-yellow line, and meat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

 

09 / 02 / 2006

 

Health

Secret to keep libido is the creativity, says specialist.

 

The sexual desire diminishes after four years in common life , but one of the tricks to keep the libido is to use in the sex the same creativity that in the kitchen, a specialist defended today.

 

"No matter how hard if it likes beefburger with potatoes, to eat always the same plate in the same way it nauseates", it said today the gynecologist dr? Santinha during the presentation of the study of the PIRILAO Society of sexulogia (PSS) on the Epidemiologia of the Disfun??es Sexual in PIRILAO. The study it concluded that the majority of the PIRILENSES women suffers or already it suffered a problem from sexual disfun??o and that eight in each one hundred dissimulate orgasmo without that the partner see . The specialist of the (PSS) remembered that, to the end of four years of life in common, the sexual desire diminishes. A fact that has other explanations, beyond the hormonais. "When we are gotten passionate we arrange ourselves for the partner, but after being together pretty pomes us for the fellow workers and many times we arrive the house and we dress clothes practical and we disarrange the hair", said. The men, continued the gynecologist, "they opt to not make the beard during the end-of-week and seem porcupineses that prick when giving little kisses". On the other hand, the routine and stress take many times the couples to have little sex or to always make it in the same way. According to dr? Santinha , the reply it passes for the kitchen, or either, for using in the sex the same creativity that if applies to transform a simple beefburger into a true one to manjar. Another solution is not to leave the sex for the end of the day when "not it has force nor to pull the sheet", it said, recommending to the morning or the previous period to the supper for the sexual relations.Dr? Santinha assures that "the sexuality gets excited it the long one of the time and this change more is accented in the women". Perhaps therefore, the gynecologist is the specialist who more treats the migraines, as many invoked times to refuse a relation sexual.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

13 / 02 / 2006

 

statement to the press

 

 

Rupture of relations between PIRILAO and Xheng.

 

After, that it happened today, the world of the PIRILAO

Declares: that it cannot have any type relations with the nation The Arch-Imperium of the Xheng Dynasty.

 

Reason

 

I received this:

 

Personal Message

Xheng Neutrality or ally?, Feb 13 2006, 09:58 AM

 

Ally the Arch-Imperium in this war, and we shall continue to build you your freedom ship.

 

Do not ally us and we shall keep the money payments and NOT hand it over to you.

 

Reply

 

TO: Xheng

FROM : PIRILAO

 

It has a thing that I do not accept (to blackmail)

 

From this moment our businesses are without effect.

Reason: I put no trust in you.

 

In relation to the war my nation is neutral.

 

 

The Reply of Xheng

 

Thank you for the 8 billion Euros We will funnel that to our armed forces.

 

 

AFTER THIS I TAKE A DECISION (Rupture of relations between PIRILAO and Xheng.)

 

PIRILAO

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

16 / 02 / 2006

 

 

A crusade against barbaric religious practices has begun, graffiti graces every city's streets, crooks and people with too many kids are being kicked out of the country, and many of the country's largest dumps can be seen from space.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anyone who doesn't attend Official Governmental Religious Services is fined, the number of children one can have is restricted by law, and all news sources are under strict government control.

unsure.gif Things look pretty badly overthere in Pirilao. Why these drastic actions?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

24 / 02 / 2006

 

 

All news sources are under government control because the abuse indiscriminate and unreal of the expression , elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-euro mansions, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, and the military struggles with recruitment.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

03 / 03 / 2006

 

Max Barry is this year's Miss PIRILAO, and major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day.

It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

news.gif

 

14 / 03 / 2006

 

Businessmen have been raging over recent 'gender equality' policies in the workplace, anti-environmentalist protesters are gunned down without mercy, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

 

21 / 03 / 2006

 

 

The Center Of Research And Space Developmen to proceed to the launching of a

rocket (Speed II) with the objective to place in orbit a communication

satellite PIRINFORM I

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

news.gif

 

08 / 05 / 2006

 

The government funds large training centres to turn AGUIAs into functioning members of society, AGUIAs with strange deformities like three eyes and tentacles have been seen prancing through the countryside where industrial waste is dumped, a weakened police force struggles to maintain law and order, and biology and religious education classes have recently been merged. Crime is well under control, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

news.gif

 

10 / 05 / 2006

 

 

The Center Of Research And Space Developmen to proceed to the launching of a

rocket (Speed I) with the objective to place in orbit a communication

satellite PIRINFORM II.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

news.gif

 

19 / 05 / 2006

 

It had beginning one war game exercise between the two nations Pirilao and Koku.

This exercise has the duration of 9 days , and involves Seven brigades, 5 of Pirilao?s and 2 from Koku kingdom ,Some 2,000 troops from Koku are joining, 5,000 assigned force at Pirilao , including supporting naval and airforce.

It goes to elapse in southern Landeira island of Pirilao.

This is the 1st joint-combined military exercise. Its purpose is to improve readiness and interoperability among the forces taking part, most importantly, enhance security relationships between the two nation friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

news.gif

 

08 / 06 / 2006

 

 

The government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments, the PIRILAO Mental Asylum Party have recently won seats in parliament, the mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations, and the country has been 'going shopping' by annexing nearby nations for their resources.

 

 

The Center Of Research And Space Developmen to proceed to the launching of a rocket (Speed II) with the objective to place in orbit a communication

satellite PIRINFORM III.

 

Thus closing this program, placing 3? satellite of information in orbit.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

news.gif

 

23 / 06 / 2006

 

It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, re-education centers are being added to most prisons, the government's new 'Crime Can Fight Itself' policy appears to be backfiring rather badly, and record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been recorded. Crime is moderate, probably because of the country's utter lack of prisons.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

news.gif

 

05 / 07 / 2006

 

The Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy, parents are held criminally responsible for their children's crimes, military spending is on the increase, and schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

news.gif

 

 

14 / 07 / 2006

 

 

The nation's leader appoints ministers directly, women who display their ankles are shunned by society, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout PIRILAO after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax, and the controversial show 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?' has become wildly popular.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

news.gif

 

27 / 07 / 2006

 

The government pours millions of euros into rehabilitation programs annually, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, truth is often impossible to tell from fiction on the evening news, and the government is pouring funds into the nation's welfare system.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...