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It is my extreme sorrow to announce that General Van Helsing was shot by a terrorist yesterday. He is in a deep coma after blood loss and is not expected to recover. Marshal Christoph Tinsman, the General's adopted son and national war hero, will serve as regent in his stead, the General having no biological children of his own.


We will keep you updated on the General's condition and any retaliatory actions taken.

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To: Vanarambaion

From: The Stoner Sanctuary of Stoned Smurfs

Re: Assistance/sorrow


Greetings people of Vanarambaion (OOC:i think that's the nations name too),


The people and government of Stoned Smurfs would like to send its deepest regards and sympathy to everyone there. When our beloved President Pot had an assassination attempt we too thought we had lost our leader. Thankfully the Green House surgeons staff were able help our President come to full recovery. Many of our herbal medicines are world renown for being "wonder pill" like. Our Presidential Neurosurgeons are leaders in their field.


Our President Pot is offering his top surgeons and medical staff to Vanarambaion and to General Van Helsing. The top staff has now been put on call. President Pot is also offering any other assistance possible ranging from special forces training to financial aid.


We again are deeply moved by the events that has transpired and are willing to help in any way. You have our sympathy and support.


Thank you for your time,

Mary Jane Hempton

Official Green House Secretary

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A splinter group within the Vanarmabaion Army led by Colonel Nick James and calling themselves the Peace-Nicks has claimed belated responsibility for the action and has taken five inconsequential towns in the east of Vanarambaion. Negotiations are being stone-walled, and civil war appears likely. Marshal Christoph Tinsman, General Van Helsing's adopted son and acting regent for the comatose Emperor has refused to confirm or deny that military force will be used on the rebels.


General Van Helsing is being kept in his coma until the surgeons can decide how best to dislodge the bullets.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Due to recent hostilities between the two nations over the annexation of the islands, no surgeons were called from SSSS. However, it really wouldn't have mattered in the end, in any case, as the blood-loss weakened the elderly Emperor to such an extent that recovery was impossible. General Van Helsing passed away at 0623 this morning. The country has entered a state of national mourning for the man who brought stability to the nation after its history of infighting.


The group of officers who claimed responsibility for the shooting have had their entire army defect (they were absolved of any wrong-doing and reincorporated into the Vanarambaion Army) and have fled to the mainland in hopes of political asylum. At last sighting they were headed towards Klopstokia. Vanarambaion is seeking their extradition to stand trial for their misdeeds and warns Klopstokia strongly against offering assistance to the fugitives.


Marshal Christoph Tinsman has been sworn in today. Coronation will take place on August 22. He is the only adopted son of the late Emperor, and takes the throne due to a lack of living blood relatives of the late Emperor. The Vanarambaion Parliament proclaimed its full support of the succession.


The King is dead. Long live the king.

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Marshal Christoph Tinsman

regent for General Van Helsing



My country sends you its condolences for the late great General Van Helsing.

We thank you for continuing the late General's work to protect our region...Looking forward to meeting with you soon.



Queen Selene

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Well, it is an old wisdom..

Who uses the sword, will be killed by the sword.

sh*t happens, so stop whining Vana.


It was a staged coup d'etat.

That happens all the time in banana republics with too much self esteem,

and a lot of guns on the run..


Take care of Vana!


Good day Sir!

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The Grand Marshal would like to graciously accept the cold-hearted offer made by Klop. He just has a few comments.


Actually, the appropriate quote would have been, "Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't." This is a known problem in any government, including yours, and there is no greater honor than to die in battle to the people of Vanarambaion. ak.gifsmiley_339.giftombstone.gif


Whining is different from informing neighbor nations about current important situations. If I wanted to whine would I have killed off my own leader? huh.gifetonnes3.gif


A coup d'etat, my mistaken associate, is when the same people who depose the old leader attempt to take power themselves. The people who committed this crime were never in position to take power. They were attempting to change the leader from a perceived hard-ass like General Van Helsing, to a perceived moderate, like Grand Marshal Christoph Tinsman. This plan apparently back-fired.


You may call V a banana republic if you wish. It's more like a militant society where fighting is the highest thing you can hope to accomplish. Like the Romans, Huns, ancient Aryans (from India, not Germany), Sparta, etc, except with a modern outlook. And yes, a person's right to own guns is one of the few rights the people have.


Have a lovely day borg.gif

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Marshal Christoph Tinsman was crowned Emperor today before the leaders of Vanarambaion, (plus all other nations wishing to send leaders - I forgot to tell you they were sent, but they were). A reception afterward was interrupted briefly by the announcement by SSSS, but resumed without the guest of honor and members of the Vanarambaion Parliament later in the evening.

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  • 1 month later...

The Tribal Tribunal of the Socialist Tribal Alliance of Mongol-Swedes recognizes and sends its regards to Emperor Christoph Tinsman. As a nation of confederated warrior-tribes, its members recognizes the high and prestigious honor of combat as an inherent commodity of its own tradition, customs, and history. Best wishes are sent for a steady future.

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