Jump to content
Mauridiviah

A Tale of Two Palm Trees

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

If a palm tree falls in the beach, and only a boy is around to hear it, was the tree there at all?

In a place of Madria, a little village near La Santísima Concepción, there lived a very wealthy family. They were known as the Monteros, despite the clear lack of mountains in their area, and lived in a grand house that stood stoicly behind their vast fields of cotton. The family had their fingers in so many pies, that it was wondered by their contemporaries if there was a single sinister plot or shady business deal that didn't have the name "Montero" written all over it. This total disregard for the human condition, their rather flexible view of morality, and their vast fields of cash crops allowed the Monteros to live a very affluent lifestyle. It was even rumored that even God's kingdom had less luxurious bathrooms than the ones that the Monteros had.

Growing up as the youngest member of the family, but also the heir apparent of its wealth, was a certain Juan Montero. A boy so reckless, so rebellious, and so curious that his father often wondered whether Juan deserved the name Montero at all. In fact, during a fit of rage when the boy was just five years of age, Mr. Montero decided that the boy would have to earn his family name, and that from that point on he'd just be known in all matters as just "Juan", or to his mother, "Juanito". Juan was of course not going to stand for that, and deciding that the name "Montero" was lame anyway, decided that his new last name would be "Moral". It was Juan Moral who came across those faithful palm trees.

22076-Copley,%20John%20Singleton.jpg

Originally, they were three palm trees, all smushed so close together that it was hard to tell if they were all tree different trees, or just one tree with three trunks, like a palm hydra. Juan, while walking on the beaches one day, stumbled upon the curious looking structure and quickly approached it to get a keener look. He found the trees rather amusing and he began playing around with them, climbing them, jumping from one tree trunk to another, trying to get their coconuts, and pretending that the trees could speak and have conversations with each other. Juan would spend an entire afternoon there, away from his studies. However, all good things must come to an end, and some of their parents' slaves quickly found him and tried to get him to come back. Juan refused to leave the trees, preferring to sleep under their shade than in his own pompous bed. In order to get away from the prying hands of the slaves, Juan began to climb one of the palm trees higher and higher, right up to the top. It was at that point that the old tree could no longer support so much strees being placed on its trunk, and it quickly became too bent and broke open, releasing splinters into the air that fell upon the Montero slaves like a deadly, sharp rain that would send them straight to the doctor.

Juan did not come out of this incident unscathed however, and would need bedrest for the better part of the month to fully recover. As a result, his father forbade him from ever returning to the sport, and also advised him to climb sturdier trees in the future. Of course, Juan wasn't going to take the orders from that tyrant, so he returned to the spot whenever he got the chance. Upon returning there, he found that luckily the tides nor storms had moved the third tree's former trunk too far, and Juan decided to bury it near its brother trees so that the still living trees wouldn't miss it too much. It took a full day of hard labor and a stolen shovel, but the log was successfully buried in a very salty, very watery, very sandy grave near its siblings. Juan even organized quite a beautiful funeral ceremony as well, in order to right the wrong done by his action and to live up to his adopted last name.

"You were a good tree" Juan said tearfully. "Truly the best" would say one of the trees, "The bestest of the best!" would say the other. "You guys need to stop fighting, show some respect!" said young Juan, lecturing the trees as his own father would lecture him. "I know both of you are sad that he's gone. You don't however need to prove that one of you is more heartbroken than the other-- where is the sense in that? The situation remains a tragedy regardless. Y'all need to settle down" Juan said, patting both trees. "Of course, I'm sorry." would say one tree, "Of course, I'm sorrier" would say the other. "Truly it is futile to reason with you trees" said Juan, trying not to giggle during the third trees' funeral.

After that rather distasteful affair, Juan did not return to trees for the while to give them some space to work out their issues. Or something, really trees can only be so fun. Until you throw a friend into the mix of course.

 


OOC: This is a Mauridivian tale based off of the true stories of a kid called Juan Montero.

 

Edited by Mauridiviah
horizontal line
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How to pull off a heist with only a talking carrot and some friends, or something like that.

While La Santísima Concepción was a city of fortitude and great importance, it did not lend itself to the types of dirty schemes of Monteros (presumably due to the highly moralistic nature of the monolith that was the Tacolic church in the city) and as such they did not concern themselves with the city, with Mr. Montero going as far as stating that "Our family never prided itself on dealing with far-flung colonies". Instead, the Monteros invented an illustrious town of their own, named La Vela, in which the Monteros could scheme without 'holy' or any other kind of interference. Thanks to their wealth, the city had attracted a signifcant population of several hundred souls, and it had grown into a proper town with time. It is here that Juan Moral decided to conduct his heist.

However, he was of course not doing it for reasons of greed. That would be selfish, and Juan was anything but selfish. The heist was simple wealth redistribution; Juan would take money from the rich and give the poor, while charging a minor commission for his services.

Step number one to completing a successful heist is to plan a successful heist. Step number two is to recruit some friends. Thus, Juan decided to ask his plebian friend Pepe to meet with him at the two palm trees. The three of them would've been perfectly fine planning the heist, but recently Juan had befriended a certain carrot, abandoned in his room by some overworked slave. This carrot was particularly needy, and required lots of attention. As a result, it refused to be left alone and forced Juan to take it everywhere he went. Some, like his father, scoffed at his "utterly idiotic behavior", but they simply did not know what it was like to deal with a needy carrot, so Juan just ignored them.

Because of his dilemma, however, Juan ended up having to include the carrot in his scheming. As such, when the time came and the plotters gathered, the needy carrot was among them. 

"Alright palms, Pepe, and carrot. Our target is the local bank branch of the Real. It has only one front door, and it's not very big, but I think that we should just climb in through one of the windows." began Juan.

"Back window, Juan. They only keep the money in the back of the building." said Pepe.

"Not just the back window" would say one of the palm trees, "They're low enough to the ground that man could get in easily. They store the money on the second floor to make sure that it's secure. That's why only the top back windows have steel bars on them" would say the other.

"Hmmm... then we shall need to enter through one of the side windows, and use a ladder." responded Juan.

"But where are we going to get a ladder?" would whine the needy carrot.

"My father recently borrowed one for some construction work he's doing in town. We can just borrow it from him." responded Pepe.

"Great," said Juan, "then we'll just do that".

"Does the bank have a vault upstairs?" asked Pepe.

"Yes, but only for the most valuable items. The remainder, including most of the gold, lies behind some steel bars. While an adult couldn't fit through the space between the bars, I'm betting one of us could." said Juan.

"Ok. Night time tommorrow then?" asked Pepe. Juan nodded. With the gang agreed, the plan was set in motion.

After a day of being on his best behavior, Juan was finally sent to bed. However, instead of going to bed, he stuffed his pillows in a way to make it look like he was there, opened his second-floor window, and making sure that the needy carrot was in his pant pocket, carefully climbed down the side of his plantation home. He then navigated through the darkness by moonlight until he reached the outskirts of the sleeping city of the La Vela, where Pepe was waiting, struggling to carry his father's ladder on his own. The boys then set off (Juan of course not helping Pepe with the ladder; after all, he was the son of a plantation owner, no less) and, sneaking around the still-active parts of town such as the bar, managed to enter the side alley of the sleeping bank. Carefully setting the ladder, it was decided that Pepe would hold it at the bottom while Juan climbed it, and then Juan would hold it at the top while Pepe climbed it. Having climbed the ladder, Juan opened the window of the bank, and was pleasantly surprised to find it unlocked. He then jumped onto the second floor of the bank with a loud thud and grabbed the ladder from the top. Pepe climbed and landed with more grace.

pilgrim-clipart-pennsylvania-colony-7164

The heist would've gone off without a hitch had it not been for a fact that became quickly apparent for the boys: the bars were too close together to get at the shiny gold, partially hidden by blankets, on the other side. No matter how much they tried, they couldn't squeeze through. It was then that Juan had a great idea: he would just get the needy carrot to get the gold for them. Taking out the needy carrot from his pant pocket, Juan made the several-gold-bar request.

"No." would reply the carrot. "Stealing is wrong, and in a jail cell I'll be lonely. I won't help you."

"But zanahoria, if you don't help us, we won't be able to help the poor. You wouldn't want Pepe to go hungry, would you?" said Juan, stiffing his lower lip and everything.

"Fine, but don't tell anyone about this. Ever" would say the carrot.

"Always" said Juan. "My lips are sealed" said Pepe.

With that, Juan let the carrot loose on the space between the bars. The carrot would then stand up, walk over the gold, and with some effort, roll a gold bar over to the eager boys, who would then manuever the bar through the bars and put it on a small pile behind them. The process would repeat itself until the boys had enough gold, and then Juan recalled the carrot, who would comfortably walk back to the space between the bars and would be relieved to return to Juan's pant pocket.

Juan and his accomplice than grabbed the gold bars, and one by one dropped them next to the ladder unto the soft ground far below, each giving a soft thud upon landing. After the gold bars were all lying on a pile next to the bank, the previous system was reversed, with Juan climbing down first while Pepe held the ladder at the top and and then Pepe climbing down while Juan held the ladder from the bottom. Pepe had some difficulty closing the bank window quietly, but otherwise this part was as easy as the rest. The boys then stuffed the gold bars into their clothes, which weighed them down significantly, and to together carried the ladder back to the construction ground.

Once they had deposited the ladder, each headed off to the beach, where, after greeting the two palm trees, the buried the gold under the sands. The boys then parted ways, with Pepe heading to his choza and Juan heading to his mansion. Juan's greatest challenge was carefully climbing up the side of his home back to his open room window. No one had noticed he was gone, and with that, the operation had been a success.

The next morning, after fulfilling his duties, Juan headed off to the two palm trees to check on the gold. Finding it all still there, he then resolved to take only three gold bars, and leave the rest to Pepe. To that end, after re-burying the remaining bars, he wrote on the sand "Take the rest, Pepe" and then headed off back home, where he hid the bars under his drawer, wrapped in an old blanket for future.

It was said for many years thereafter the bank looked for the infamous night time thieves that had cost them a fortune, and they never found them. In the end, the gold bars exchanged hands only a few times before they ended up right back where they started anyway, so perhaps they just gave up the chase when they realized the fortune had returned to them. In any case, one thing is for sure: bring your carrots to your bank heists, they're surprisingly useful.

 


 

OOCInstallment number two. I know these stories are boring, but they're mostly bed time stories for children so they're not exactly filled with conflict.

 

 

Edited by Mauridiviah
horizontal line
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Posts

    • Sarbo Broadcasting Channel - SBC _________________________________________________________ The intro sequence of SBC plays across Alenian television sets as it fades into a shot of the newsroom. There were two people sitting in chairs in the center of the newsroom, a man and a woman. The man was wearing a business-casual outfit while the woman was wearing formal attire. "Good morning, and thank you for tuning in. I'm Emilia Sada and today we're with the man who discovered the possible key to our national heritage, Namazio Sinagra. Namazio, I understand you were taking a stroll through the forest when you discovered this...artifact." Namazio shifts in his chair slightly as he begins to speak. It's clear in his voice that he's in his 40s. "Yeah, um, I was taking a stroll a little way outside of Verolieri. I went out about, eh...3 miles east, and that's when I found it. This little curved, rectangular block sticking up from the dirt. That's when I ran back and grabbed my shovel and started digging. I kept finding more, and more, and more...and that's when I called the archaeologists." Emilia continues as a narrator. "At 5:20, the archaeologists arrived and began their dig. They've already found what appears to be a wall in the Verolieri forests. They haven't hit the floor yet, but they are extremely close. I'm Emilia Sada, thank you for watching." And the screen fades out to commercial.
    • The HMS Argos had continued its patrols in the Dolch See following its original mysterious encounter with the frigate it had been pursuing. Upon hearing the news that the Ardent and two other ships were currently engaged in a difficult battle with a ship matching that same description, Captain Deanne Domnall was beginning to question her original decision to break off pursuit. However her orders were clear for the moment, unless the situation over there becomes critical, the Argos will continue its normal patrols in hopes of stopping something else. "Captain, we just received a brief burst of a mayday from a Limonaian ocean liner traveling through the Dolch." Domnall snapped out of her thoughts upon hearing her communications officer call from the other side of the bridge. She turned her back to the bridge's window and almost jogged her way over to the officer who was still messing with the controls on his equipment. "Are they still transmitting?" The officer shook his head, "No ma'am I lost the signal almost as quickly as it started. They were briefly able to mention that whatever the ship was that was approaching them appeared to be coming from the general direction of Derthalen's coastline." Deanne took a moment to think to herself, this could be another one of the Sentists attacks, as her crew has started to call them. But something felt a bit off about it, attacked an ocean liner of any size would mean some serious commitment to their actions. While she had no doubt in her head the Sentists were a threat in the Dolch, they didn't appear to be some monolithic organization that could just capture and process hundreds of people like that. "Keep sending replies to their mayday, see if you can get them back." She turned around to face navigation, "Navigation, set a course towards the last known location of that ocean liner. Check their filed plans and let's see if we can use that last radio contact to figure out where they may be. Take us there full speed ahead." Something about this particular incident seem to sit wrong in her gut. But until Argos got there, Domnall made sure to try and quash ever growing list of theories.   --------------------------   Lennox breathed a sigh of relief as it had seemed the battle had finally died down. "Captain, both the other ships have confirmed they are beginning boarding operations." Lennox nodded, "Go ahead and send a reply stating we will be holding back, we have possible unexploded munitions on board that could be a hazard to the other ships if we approached." The communications officer nodded and began to relay the messages. Lennox's second officer approached him holding a radio in his hand, "Captain I've got Leftenant Elliot down below decks saying he's got eyes on the shell that hit us." Lennox immediately grabbed the radio out of his hand, "Leftenant, this is the Captain tell me what your seeing." "Aye captain, seems what we've got here is a partial penetration of the shell. By the looks of it I'm thinking it might be a dud but I can't be too certain. I'm taking a closer inspection right now, but it seems to be fairly old." Both Lennox and his second officer exchanged quizzical looks, "What do you mean old?" "Judgin by the intact marking sir, I'd say this shell is probably... over fifty years old. Certainly not Seylosian. The language looks maybe something like Limonaian? I can't imagine they would have produced this in years though. I'd want to be extra careful with this particular piece, many of these older shells have a chemical anti-tampering device which could set it off." "Well I'm fairly certain we haven't been exchanging fire with a Limonaian frigate tonight... leftenant I want you to document everything you can before going through with any sort of defusal. Make sure that section is evacuated of any non critical personnel." "Aye sir, we're on it"
    • It might seem a little odd starting a blog on increasing Invision Community's speed with the word "lazy",  but I'll explain why this is a good word for performance shortly. Earlier this year, Google announced that page speed is a ranking factor. Simply put, if your site is slow, it will be ranked lower in Google's search results. It is always a challenge making a large application like Invision Community as efficient as possible per page load. A single Invision Community page can pull in widgets from multiple applications as well as a lot of user-generated content with attachments, movies and images used heavily.  This is where being lazy helps. Lazy loading is a method by which attachments, embeds and images are not loaded by default. They are only loaded when the viewer scrolls down enough to make them visible. This allows the page to load a good deal faster now it doesn't have to load megabytes of images before the page is shown as completely rendered. I was going to take a fancy video showing it in action, but it's hard to capture as the system loads the media just before you get to it, so it looks fairly seamless, even with sluggish connections. Not the most dynamic image, but this shows the placeholder retains the size of the image We have added this lazy loading to maps and Twitter emoji images. Improving non-image attachments
      Once we had implemented the lazy loading framework, an area we wanted to improve was non-image attachments. We have listened to a lot of the feedback we had on this area, and have now made it very clear when you add an attachment into a post. We've even returned the download count now it's being loaded on demand. Using attachments when posting All the letters
      When we first implemented the letter avatars in 4.3, we discussed whether to use CSS styling or use an image. We decided to go with an image as it was more stable over lots of different devices, including email. We've revisited this in 4.4, and switched the letter avatars to SVG, which are much faster to render now that the browser doesn't have to load the image files. Other performance improvements
      We've taken a pass at most areas with an eye for performance, here is a list of the most significant items we've improved. Several converter background tasks have been improved, so they work on less data Duplicate query for fetching clubs was removed in streams Notifications / follower management has been improved Member searches have been sped up (API, ACP live search, member list in ACP, mentions, etc.). Stream performance has been improved UTF8 conversions have been sped up Elasticsearch has been sped up by using pre-compiled queries and parameterisation, as well as the removal of view filtering (and tracking) HTTP/2 support with prefetch/preload has been added Several PHP-level performance improvements have been made Implemented rel=noopener when links open a new window (which improves browser memory management) Several other performance improvements for conversions were implemented that drastically reduce conversion time IP address lookups now fetch IP address details from us en-masse instead of one request per address Cache/data store management has been streamlined and centralised for efficiency Many background tasks and the profile sync functionality have all been improved for performance Brotli compression is now supported automatically if the server supports it Redis encryption can now be disabled if desired, which improves performance Phew, as you can see, we've spent a while tinkering under the hood too. We'd love to hear your thoughts. Let us know below! This blog is part of our series introducing new features for Invision Community 4.4. View the full article
    • Look forward to see where you go with this placement.
    • @North Dniester No problem with that on my end, now that the civil war isn't going ahead. Makes it easier for me and @Ahrana to whip you into place.
×