A bearded man wearing a Sayfi military uniform bursts through a door labeled 'War Room' and says "Abu Hajaar, the President and Parliament have approved war plans X, C, and D for action against the-" "Shut up Ahmed, we're watching the news."
"BREAKING NEWS: COORDINATED TERRORIST ATTACKS ACROSS THE COUNTRY, MANY FATALITIES AND INJURIES, ELECTIONS PUT ON HOLD"
Blares across the television screen mounted in the middle of the room, "There has been multiple terrorist attacks across many polling stations across the country, the current amount of fatalities is unknown and 15 suspects have been apprehended by government authorities. As you can see from this cellphone footage given to us, the suspects detonated bombs at the polling stations and began opening fire on the crowds shouting the slogan of "Fedayeen Sayf" a militant organization that started the civil war in the 1970's. Their goal in the civil war was to return the old monarchy that was pushed out of Sayf into power. That old monarchy fled Sayf after the coup in 1906 to the Tahir Sultanate, which was ruled by their relatives. Since the early 1900's the country has been in decline and the monarchy refuses to reform, and it is widely believed that Fedayeen Sayf is funded and backed by the sultanate. These attacks are clearly an attempt by Fedayeen Sayf to destabilize the country in an already unstable time, seeing as our long-time president since 1996 is finally retiring, with his retirement cut short by these attacks as the electons have been put on hold. We can only wonder what action will be taken by the government against Fedayeen Sayf and the Tahir Sultanate."
Abu Hajaar shuts the television off using a remote and takes a long draw from his hookah. "Back during the civil war we were no where near as capable to bring Tahir to it's knees, now they but a dying country with a backwards government. Enact plan C, and prepare for an invasion of the Tahir Sultanate, they have been harboring terrorists from within their country for too long, and we are much stronger then we were in 1974. We also have the support of a separatist militia within the country, and likely the support of the people living within it as they've been suffering through their oppression. If there are no questions, enact the plan, and release a press release about our 'intervention' in Tahir." All of the men in the room quickly pull out their mobile devices and begin shouting orders into them.
ooc: more posts detailing the actual plan coming soon
Roué, the capital of the Republic of Paranne (Lycian: République da Paranne). Three Shffahkians are sitting in a limousine.
And then what?
Nothing, it would make a fine set-up for a joke is all. Says Louque Admie, a lanky thin pale man in a suit, whom some call him the living embodiment of an academic possessing several degrees and qualifications of various backgrounds, who also happens to be the sitting president of the Collective of Ministers. Holding a pile of papers barely together with several falling from his clutches with every bump the limousine meets.
Sounds like a pretty terrible joke. It ain't even got anythin' after. The three should be doing something... Like arm-wrestling! Replies a far heftier man, Rémy Rémy. Tall, outgoing and radiating a presence of courage, he is the current president of the Shffahkian Council. Never one to say much and one to almost always forget something important, a popular rumour of him is that he forgot his last own last name.
Well, I didn't say it would be a fine joke per se. Says Admie as he kneels down to pick up the myriad of documents he dropped during the limousine ride. But rather that it would make a good set-up - ça veut dire - a start to one which then predisposes the listener to the comedic twist, thereby... Agh, great this year's documents for the Port-Réel Celebrations budget are besmirched in coffee.
Ah, so that's where that went. Says Adélaïde Larue as she bends to pick up the leaking thermal mug putting it back on the small pile of thermal mugs of varying colours next to her. Why did you even bring those files, to begin with? Are you planning a parade float of your own or something?
Well excuse me, but I said, many a time, I wasn't going to stop this discussion over the budget of these celebrations for anything. That includes this project of yours, going about galavanting across Paranne. As if the situation in Shffahkiaville isn't bad enough without you constantly avoiding our budget talks. Also, based on that pile haven't you had enough coffee? That addiction of yours is beginning to spiral out of control.
You see... Larue pauses for a moment to sip her coffee. There's a difference between an addiction and a passion.
Of course, there is. One is an all-consuming fire while the other is a spark of enlightenment, correct?
Which stop is next again? Interrupts Rémy looking at one the documents detailing their trip around Paranne. Is it the At-risk Disenfranchised Indigenous Women's Mental Health Association or Parannais Mining Rights Society?
No, we already were at the At-risk Disenfranchised Indigenous Women's Mental Health Association back in Térémaie. Does the hour-long hike to the mining site where the protests were happening ring a bell? We had to walk all the way up the mountain because they don't allow transportation vehicles that far up the mountain.
Those were women? They were by far too hairy to be women; one even had a beard I'm pretty sure. You're sure they weren't the miners? More importantly, you call that a mountain? I've climbed hills that were bigger than that!
They were shouting in... Louque Admie attempts to say before being cut off by Rémy. And I've climbed them without any equipment what so ever!
That's great, but how do you explain the fact that they were very clearly throwing what seemed like dirt towards mining equipment?
Maybe they were protesting salary cuts?
They were shouting in an indigenous language...
How should I know what they were speaking? And why are we even going out of our way to talk to some insane sasquatches up in the mountains? They can't even vote what's the point in that?
Larue intervenes and says Paranne loves to boast of its indigenous cultural presence. Despite only 15% or so of the population actually being made up of that particular group. So making good with that important minority smooths procedures in the long run. Besides the president's husband suggested it to us prior to our visit.
Which one of them was the queer one again? asks Rémy abruptly.
What on Eurth do you mean? inquires Admie, flabbergasted. Émeric Dutoit is the first openly "queer," as you so blatantly put it, president of Paranne. His election was seen as a big step forward in the country.
Ah, so it's Émeric and not Sylvain?
By definition, they both are! Decries Admie, frustratedly at Rémy. And please, do not employ such a word during this trip.
What's wrong with calling the sky blue?
The negative connotations the word drags around as baggage.
Drag, don't tell me they... Says Rémy before being interrupted by Larue Please just stop for goodness' sake.
What if it comes up during dinner?
I highly doubt this particular subject will come up during our dinner answers Admie.
I'm sure we can converse over other topics such as the new ADIWMHA spokesperson... Sasquatch! Interrupts Rémy. Or perhaps the unification deal Larue continues then returning to her coffee.
Ah yes, back to that. So after the dinner, we have two stops left depending on how long the pursuing negotiations are Admie preludes.
They were which again? Rémy asks.
The Animal Rescue Centre of Roué and then the...
Wouldn't the joke be better if it began with something else than three Shffahkians? inquires Rémy.
Excuse me, what? Admie replies with utter despair in his eyes.
Something like a Sunset Sea Islandian, a Shffahkian and a Mauridiviahn are sitting in a limousine.
That does sound more like an actual joke. Larue comments. It seems like we've almost arrived, is everything ready?
As ready as it can be. replies Admie sweating from anticipation. Let's just hope no arm-wrestling happens.
I would say the opposite, you porcelain man! answers Rémy right as the limousine doors open to reveal the glimmer of cameras.
Welcome to all foriegn delegations who have ventured to Dew Point. I hope that you had a relaxing trip. Now to the issues at stake.
1) The fate of the two islands off the coast of Area #82
a ) Are they part of Area #82?
b ) Can they be claimed by any nation, regardless of population limits set forth in the rules of the maps?
2) The Rules of the Map
a ) What are the territory limits to any nation, in the 'in between' areas (ie, land caputed during the war, islands, etc)
b ) What are legitimate reactions by other nations? Should there by any limitations.
We, the Allied States of Meteorola declare the Dew Point Peace Accords (DPPA) offically open.