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Good evening to all my smart viewers out there. You're watching BS News. I'm Bron Urgundy, coming to you live from San Cristobal.

DO YOU READ the Medani Monitor? Well, you should. Because they have the best words. Especially this weekend edition, which features a column by yours truly. We all know 2019 will be an important year for Orioni. With the upcoming elections. It's important to be well informed. Here at Big Story News, we bring you the truth, fair and balanced, so you can make up your own mind.

 

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Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm Bron Urgundy. And you're watching BS News.

IN TAGMATIUM TODAY, Haris Tamieftíra (31) stole a bus with nuns in it. He ordered them to sing and drink alcohol. National media are reporting on a man who stole a bus from a parking lot, with passengers in it. The passengers turned out to be nuns returning to their monastery from a trip to the port city of Dyrrakion in northern @Tagmatium Rules. The man likely was under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

The incident took place on one of the parking lots in the city centre of Dyrrakion. While the bus driver left the bus for a moment in order to pack the bags of the passengers. At the same time, taking advantage of the situation, Haris Tamieftíra, got on the bus and drove away. The bus driver immediately reported to the authorities.

The nuns reported that the thief completely ignored their repeated requests to stop the vehicle. After realising the bus was full of nuns, Haris demanded the sisters to sing songs for Jesus. He also forced the passengers to drink alcohol, threatening to crash the bus if they didn't comply.

Reportedly, Haris believed he was sent down to GHET by God himself because He saw their torment and wanted them to have some fun. "He said he will take us either to the disco or male striptease," says sister Maria Agathea. She and her holy sisters managed to escape when the abductor stopped by a fast food chain and sent them for "wings and booze."

As soon as he realised the women were running away, he proceeded to chase them shouting that they will burn in hell. A few hundred meters further down the road he crashed the bus into the telephone pole and was captured by pedestrians during an attempt to run away. Fortunately, nobody was injured during the accident.

After the man was handed over to the police, he was officially charged and arrested. A preliminary examination showed his blood alcohol level was 0.35. Drug tests also produced a positive result.

The man will now face the court for his actions. He's facing up to five years in prison for stealing a vehicle with passengers in it. The prosecutor considers adding further charges.

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Good evening little girls and boys. This is uncle Bron Urgundy, and tonight we're talking about drugs.

A MAN FROM @Shffahkia made a marvelously moronic mistake. When you do something which is not legal, you best keep it to yourself instead of notifying the police. That’s what a 26-year-old Edson Leopoldo learned when he called the emergency number to report stolen cocaine. And now he himself will be prosecuted before the court.

Acting along the guidelines, the dispatcher sent a patrol car to the place of the event in order for the testimony to be recorded. At first the dispatcher was pretty sure it was a joke. But the policemen couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw the Edson waiting for them. Reportedly, the man had lost a bundle of approximately 500 grams of white powder. He then started listing the personal information of all his recent visitors and demanded a criminal intervention.

To the policemen's surprise, Edson then said he was "too shaken by this situation" and needed a smoke. He then grabbed a bag from underneath his kitchen sink where he had stored an estimated 200 grams of marihuana. Mr Leopoldo seemed completely unaware of the fact he was worsening his own situation. He then proceeded to roll a joint... and offered to share it with the policemen writing down his testimony.

"The whole situation was absolutely astonishing. We've become the laughingstock of our police precinct," says master sergeant Pedro Ferreira. "This case could have turned out easy for Mr Leopoldo because there was no cocaine present. However, the suspect decided to show us his large stash of hashish."

Edson wrongfully thought that the law de-criminalising drug possession was already introduced instead of the discussion about it just starting. What’s more, the current discussion is aimed at legalising small amounts for personal use. Not the 200 grams found in suspect’s possession.

The man is scheduled to appear before the court. Depending on the decision regarding the amount found at his house, the local judge will decided an appropriate penalty.

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