How to pull off a heist with only a talking carrot and some friends, or something like that.
While La Santísima Concepción was a city of fortitude and great importance, it did not lend itself to the types of dirty schemes of Monteros (presumably due to the highly moralistic nature of the monolith that was the Tacolic church in the city) and as such they did not concern themselves with the city, with Mr. Montero going as far as stating that "Our family never prided itself on dealing with far-flung colonies". Instead, the Monteros invented an illustrious town of their own, named La Vela, in which the Monteros could scheme without 'holy' or any other kind of interference. Thanks to their wealth, the city had attracted a signifcant population of several hundred souls, and it had grown into a proper town with time. It is here that Juan Moral decided to conduct his heist.
However, he was of course not doing it for reasons of greed. That would be selfish, and Juan was anything but selfish. The heist was simple wealth redistribution; Juan would take money from the rich and give the poor, while charging a minor commission for his services.
Step number one to completing a successful heist is to plan a successful heist. Step number two is to recruit some friends. Thus, Juan decided to ask his plebian friend Pepe to meet with him at the two palm trees. The three of them would've been perfectly fine planning the heist, but recently Juan had befriended a certain carrot, abandoned in his room by some overworked slave. This carrot was particularly needy, and required lots of attention. As a result, it refused to be left alone and forced Juan to take it everywhere he went. Some, like his father, scoffed at his "utterly idiotic behavior", but they simply did not know what it was like to deal with a needy carrot, so Juan just ignored them.
Because of his dilemma, however, Juan ended up having to include the carrot in his scheming. As such, when the time came and the plotters gathered, the needy carrot was among them.
"Alright palms, Pepe, and carrot. Our target is the local bank branch of the Real. It has only one front door, and it's not very big, but I think that we should just climb in through one of the windows." began Juan.
"Back window, Juan. They only keep the money in the back of the building." said Pepe.
"Not just the back window" would say one of the palm trees, "They're low enough to the ground that man could get in easily. They store the money on the second floor to make sure that it's secure. That's why only the top back windows have steel bars on them" would say the other.
"Hmmm... then we shall need to enter through one of the side windows, and use a ladder." responded Juan.
"But where are we going to get a ladder?" would whine the needy carrot.
"My father recently borrowed one for some construction work he's doing in town. We can just borrow it from him." responded Pepe.
"Great," said Juan, "then we'll just do that".
"Does the bank have a vault upstairs?" asked Pepe.
"Yes, but only for the most valuable items. The remainder, including most of the gold, lies behind some steel bars. While an adult couldn't fit through the space between the bars, I'm betting one of us could." said Juan.
"Ok. Night time tommorrow then?" asked Pepe. Juan nodded. With the gang agreed, the plan was set in motion.
After a day of being on his best behavior, Juan was finally sent to bed. However, instead of going to bed, he stuffed his pillows in a way to make it look like he was there, opened his second-floor window, and making sure that the needy carrot was in his pant pocket, carefully climbed down the side of his plantation home. He then navigated through the darkness by moonlight until he reached the outskirts of the sleeping city of the La Vela, where Pepe was waiting, struggling to carry his father's ladder on his own. The boys then set off (Juan of course not helping Pepe with the ladder; after all, he was the son of a plantation owner, no less) and, sneaking around the still-active parts of town such as the bar, managed to enter the side alley of the sleeping bank. Carefully setting the ladder, it was decided that Pepe would hold it at the bottom while Juan climbed it, and then Juan would hold it at the top while Pepe climbed it. Having climbed the ladder, Juan opened the window of the bank, and was pleasantly surprised to find it unlocked. He then jumped onto the second floor of the bank with a loud thud and grabbed the ladder from the top. Pepe climbed and landed with more grace.
The heist would've gone off without a hitch had it not been for a fact that became quickly apparent for the boys: the bars were too close together to get at the shiny gold, partially hidden by blankets, on the other side. No matter how much they tried, they couldn't squeeze through. It was then that Juan had a great idea: he would just get the needy carrot to get the gold for them. Taking out the needy carrot from his pant pocket, Juan made the several-gold-bar request.
"No." would reply the carrot. "Stealing is wrong, and in a jail cell I'll be lonely. I won't help you."
"But zanahoria, if you don't help us, we won't be able to help the poor. You wouldn't want Pepe to go hungry, would you?" said Juan, stiffing his lower lip and everything.
"Fine, but don't tell anyone about this. Ever" would say the carrot.
"Always" said Juan. "My lips are sealed" said Pepe.
With that, Juan let the carrot loose on the space between the bars. The carrot would then stand up, walk over the gold, and with some effort, roll a gold bar over to the eager boys, who would then manuever the bar through the bars and put it on a small pile behind them. The process would repeat itself until the boys had enough gold, and then Juan recalled the carrot, who would comfortably walk back to the space between the bars and would be relieved to return to Juan's pant pocket.
Juan and his accomplice than grabbed the gold bars, and one by one dropped them next to the ladder unto the soft ground far below, each giving a soft thud upon landing. After the gold bars were all lying on a pile next to the bank, the previous system was reversed, with Juan climbing down first while Pepe held the ladder at the top and and then Pepe climbing down while Juan held the ladder from the bottom. Pepe had some difficulty closing the bank window quietly, but otherwise this part was as easy as the rest. The boys then stuffed the gold bars into their clothes, which weighed them down significantly, and to together carried the ladder back to the construction ground.
Once they had deposited the ladder, each headed off to the beach, where, after greeting the two palm trees, the buried the gold under the sands. The boys then parted ways, with Pepe heading to his choza and Juan heading to his mansion. Juan's greatest challenge was carefully climbing up the side of his home back to his open room window. No one had noticed he was gone, and with that, the operation had been a success.
The next morning, after fulfilling his duties, Juan headed off to the two palm trees to check on the gold. Finding it all still there, he then resolved to take only three gold bars, and leave the rest to Pepe. To that end, after re-burying the remaining bars, he wrote on the sand "Take the rest, Pepe" and then headed off back home, where he hid the bars under his drawer, wrapped in an old blanket for future.
It was said for many years thereafter the bank looked for the infamous night time thieves that had cost them a fortune, and they never found them. In the end, the gold bars exchanged hands only a few times before they ended up right back where they started anyway, so perhaps they just gave up the chase when they realized the fortune had returned to them. In any case, one thing is for sure: bring your carrots to your bank heists, they're surprisingly useful.
OOC: Installment number two. I know these stories are boring, but they're mostly bed time stories for children so they're not exactly filled with conflict.