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Variota

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Variota last won the day on August 24

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About Variota

  • Birthday November 12

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    The best part of Europe

NationStates

  • NS
    Variota
  • Capital
    Ferrefaaierhafen / Grootwaterflakte
  • HoS
    Dina Diva / R. Hiltgaar / Gillofan V / G.R. Reierfer
  • HoG
    Dina Diva

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  1. Variota

    Will you be Myne?

    Ferrefaaierhafen, a shining beacon of prosperity, progress and pleasure situated at the crossroads between the Keelpijppassage, or simply Keelpijp as it was often lovingly called, and the Qingming Sea, or Grootsee as it was known in Variot. It was here where two of the greatest minds on Eurth, some might even say of the universe would meet for their fair share of pleasure, joy, delight and diplomacy, not necessarily in that order. Often, these meetings would take ages to arrange with enough red tape covering the whole deal to tie the Eurth to the Mun in some freaky interplanetary bondage session. One diplomat from one side would have to get permission to send specifics to another diplomat on their side who would have to relay the message on to a lesser clerk who would then move it to the office of the Minister of Foreign Affairs or whomever was selected to be part of the government and decide on those things and so on and so on. Here, though, it was simple. Dina Diva has always had the support of Reemy Loopentlant, the minister of Foreign Affairs, since she had started to participate in Variotan politics. Whether that was because she eventually got bored after nursing her hangover in the parliament, genuinely cared or just wanted to bang the constant stream of new interns and hires from the various parties, lobby groups and the parliament's various amenities was something that various internet forums loved to gossip about but never managed to get a consensus in. And, as always in politics, once you have an in, someone you know, things just move faster. Of course, Dina Diva could have just used her own vaguely framed political powers as Foorste Frauwe fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke or her popularity as World's Greatest Diva to push things through but why bother when it's easier and just as fast to have Reemy push it forward to parliament. The voting had gone through to no-one's surprise. After all, the world's a hostile place and any means to gain just a bit more breathing room, another ally, another means to increase the economy of the nation was happily gobbled up by the representatives of Het Huisselant. A stamp here, a stamp there and Dina had received the letter the next day, stating that funds had been made available for an official diplomatic meeting between the Variotans, as represented by Foorste Frauwe Dina Diva, and the Galahindrans, as represented by Chairman Yiu Amistacia. Now, the Galahindrans were actually the Galahindans but the first sounded better in Variot and when you have an intern typing up the letter, they're obviously not going to care enough to flip through a book of demonyms to check if they used the correct one. As such, there was now a chartered Air Vooters flight landing at the Kaptein A.H. Ferrefaaierhafen International Airport, the busiest airport of Het Huisselant and one of the busiest of Alharu. Situated at the small town of Lorrelapperterp, a small distance from Ferrefaaierhafen, the airport was the primary employer for the town and somewhat a source of entertainment for the inhabitants. Teens would laugh at the bumbling tourists that entered the small town, wondering where the hell Ferrefaaierhafen would finally begin as if it would suddenly rise up like a desert mirage. Adults, just looking for a quick one night stand, often ended up in the bars of the airport, picking up travelers that wanted their first or last taste of the famous Variotan eggplant. Whether that was a metaphor for, hopefully enjoyable, coitus or simply the actual agricultural product was something that the same internet forums that debated Dina Diva's motivation would probably go wild for. The planned program for the visit had been pretty simple. After landing, there'd be time for Yiu and Dina to answer questions from the media that had been allowed to be at the landing. A simple affair, a small band to play music as the two met each other, some military forces sprinkled around to show that the HAP knew what it was doing. Then, the pink limousine that would carry Yiu, Dina and whomever Yiu had brought along would travel to Ferrefaaierhafen where the new MYNE store would open - a symbol of the new and improved Variotan-Galahindan cooperation, bigger and better than ever. Bottles would pop, socialites would swarm, the usual. And afterwards, an afterparty worthy of the name. Then the second day, because there was obviously no fun to be had in rushing any meeting, there would be time for the second part of the trip, where the potential for further ties would come to light. As Yiu had said to Dina in her letter, the Galahindans lacked a standing army and were extremely interested in gaining defensive ties. And who could blame them? The world was a hostile one where rogue nations crawled out of the floorboards as if one was in a darkroom and they were horny, hungry bottoms. If there was the option to napalm entire continents, it wouldn't be outrageous to believe atleast some politicians within Het Huisselant would choose to do so. Vice versa, there were various forces in Het Huisselant that were interested in spreading their influences. From the HAP and its supply of willing soldiers, serving and otherwise, Varinco and its subsidiary Varinco Security and the many Folke Milisies. If it was possible to do so and simultaneously gain a training grounds for intense urban warfare situations, there wouldn't be a politician in the parliament that wouldn't stamp the bill to do so.
  2. To: Chairman Yiu Amistacia of @Galahinda From: F.F.f.F.f.F. Dina Diva Regarding: My dearest colleague, let us celebrate our cooperation and friendship. Yo girl, It's Dina. Sending this as an official letter because it gets me paid, you know how it is. #onthegrind, am I right? Anyway, I've had a little birdie whisper in my ear... Actually, it was this totally hot intern from one of the lobby groups, I gave him my number, we're like totally going to bang. So he told me that there's been talk about wanting to strengthening economic ties, businesses operating between us, that sort of stuff. So, being the World's Greatest Diva and great visionary that I am, I've totally thought up something awesome. Let your people send my people some details, do something we can open up quickly over here and I can totally get a whole girls night out package totally paid for. We could maybe get some fillers or botox or whatever, eat out at Vooters, shoot some guns... All fun, am I right? We'll go wild! Openings party for your business with bottles, boys, you name it. I can totally arrange for a plane to pick you up, one of my friends here owns part of an airline. Vooters Air, you know like those restaurants staffed solely by skimpily clad twinks, it's totally fun. I'll, like, totally get my assistant to make sure the bottles are popping for us once you land, girl. You know how I roll! And we'll be doing something good too, strengthening ties through enjoying your stay here. It's my mantra, you know. A relaxed leader is a good leader. And that's what the people deserve. So, we're totally doing something good on multiple levels, like an onion of goodness. Ogres, like onions, have layers. Does that mean that you could make ogre rings if ogres were real, like how onion rings exist? I was sent a couple of bottles of coconut-banana vodka and let's just say, mama likes. See you soon babe, X-O-X-O
  3. Geemeiner Fereinigung fan Waafen Fabrikatie Asosiasjies 'Varinco' Varinco - The Proper Choice Dear valued Varinco relation, We at Varinco know how important it is to have equipment that suits and fits the forces that you are supporting, having done so for decades. As you may know, Varinco maintains widespread relations throughout Eurth with groups of various standing, all of them giving us information and knowledge about the operation of our equipment in a variety of circumstances. As such, we are constantly upgrading and improving our catalog, constantly seeking to grant our customers that additional edge in combat situations. Combined with the fact that Varinco's prices are often far below those of the competition and the proven reliability and easy maintenance of our equipment, we feel that it is an easy choice to go with Varinco in regards to your combat needs. Attached to this bid is some short promotional material that shows some of the options that are located within the Varinco catalog that can be provided to you within a (near) immediate timeframe. As always, Varinco is able to provide for modifications, adjustments and upgrades as you wish so long as there is no objection to an increase in fees and/or production/procurement times. Should you be interested in getting acquainted with any of the products located within, please let us know and we shall arrange for a field demonstration within Varinco's own testing grounds in Fingerfaaierplaats. Hope to have the pleasure of a purchase order soon, J.D. Karrewasser, Chairman of GFWFA Varinco
  4. Duo's: @Variota and @Sancti Imperii Catholico @Fulgistan and @Oyus This is the thread where you can post the various things in that you make together with your partner. Once the Speed Date becomes larger, I'll include an index to the various stories. To promote the idea, get people excited and all that jive, I'm going to 'pick' this thread to show up on the front page. Once we have a new Speed Date IC thread, I'll unpick this one and pick the new one to keep the most current Speed Date thread in the spotlight. Speed Date OOC thread - in case you want to ask questions, etc.
  5. Sign ups are now closed! Participants: Variota Fulgistan S.I.C. Oyus Team-ups: Variota and S.I.C. Fulgistan and Oyus You/We now have two weeks to worldbuild together. One thing is 'required' but ambitious duos may always make multiple stories/posts. I'll open up an official IC thread this evening or tomorrow at the latest and tag everyone in it. Haven't done that now because I'm typing this off of a mobile. As said before, you're completely free to decide what to do so don't be afraid to get creative. News posts, short stories, wiki page are just some of the forms you could use. If you have any questions, PM me or post your question here; this goes for participants and non-participants. Of course, we're always accepting subject suggestions to add to the list!
  6. A reminder that you can still join! Don't miss this chance!
  7. So, I had a great idea a while back, people loved it, etc. but I became busy and thus, I never got to executing it. Now, however, is as great a time to try it out as any. Speed Date 1: Immigrants Also known as 'The Test Run' Next to being the start of an amazing Eurth tradition, this will also be a test run to see how we all like it. For that reason, I'll also PM people some questions afterwards to ask about their experience in general, their experience with their partner, how long everything took, etc. From the original thread about the speed date idea: It all seems clear enough to me but obviously, feel free to ask any questions that you might have, either here or privately. There are no dumb questions so don't worry. As this is also a bit of a test run, I'd say we can shorten the sign up time for once to last until Sunday, say 18:00 my time (GMT +1). We'll still maintain the two weeks for the IC thread. As you can see, the first subject is immigration. Go wild with it. Historic immigrants? Weird reasons that made people move to/from your nation to the other? Mixed heritage ethnic groups? Specific immigrants that had an impact on one or both nations? A mix of this? It's all possible. I'm also accepting ideas and suggestions on subjects for the next thread, it's all going in my list. To give the right example, I'll be the first to join. So: I want to join in this round! Recap: How to join: Just post that you want to join in. When do sign-ups end? This Sunday, 18:00 GMT+1 Subject of this round: Immigrants Is it fun? Yes. Are you joining in? Also yes. Sign-up sheet: 1. Variota
  8. The flashing lights didn't do anything for Dina Diva. Others, the weaker ones, were blinded, dazzled, dazed by the lights of the press. Dina though, she was hardened. Reality TV, the media and PR, it's all a war, a battlefield. And where the others were fresh recruits, Dina Diva was a battle-hardened veteran doing PMC work; the others were screaming villagers running from their burning homes, Dina Diva was the cool-headed, scarred mercenary flying bombing runs above the village, throwing grenades down on them from a light-sport aircraft, in exchange for blood diamonds. Hete Henk was the squire to Dina Diva's knight, the Darth Vader to her Palpatine. When most of your salary depends on being butt naked and in some cases getting that butt stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving in front of the camera, the lights mean nothing. The only one in the party that was actually affected by the flashes was the guy they had picked up at the airport, the lucky guy that had managed to respond to Dina Diva's call to arms quick enough to get a free international trip and perhaps a bang out of it. Dazed by the lights, the guy got dizzy and almost seemed to fall until one of Dina Diva's production team held him. ''Good, good. Don't drop him Anton, he's carrying the good stuff!'' Both Dina and Henk gave Yiu three kisses and a hug, as was customary. And let's face it, it should be customary in every nation. Because who wants to bow for someone else unless you want bend over for them too? Of course, they skipped making any conversation beyond small talk for the cameras; the real fun would begin once they were inside. Had Yiu and Dina met before? What would they talk about? If you were one of the Dina Diva's premium fans, which were given many benefits such as the ability to watch her sleep on her bedroom feed, you'd soon find out. The regular boring fans, however, would have to make do with reruns of some of their favorite Dina Diva moments until she returned to Variota, after which the footage of the party would be released. While Dina Diva also had to make money like everyone else, she was nothing but generous and allowed her fans to truly share in her life. Taking a few more moments further down the red carpet to get their pictures taken and blowing kisses to their fans, the duo went inside.
  9. Prolific Ferredaalers: Lantheere Babu Bollebont Who? Anton Mohan Bollebont, Hereditary Lantheere of Marinusterp Why? Lantheere Babu Bollebont, as he is called by the locals, owns the majority of the Bollebont Maretan Groep, personally owns iconic establishments in Frijheitswaterplaats as well as the small port town of Marinusterp and is well-known for his philanthropic ventures throughout the province. Additionally, he is seen as one of the major contributors to the Waarre Laagher Partij fan het Huisselant. How? Lantheere Babu Bollebont's story is one of both existing and gained wealth. Born into the Bollebont family in 1955, already running the reasonably successful Bollebont Fissers Floot that dealt primarily in fish and fish products, Anton Bollebont managed to earn a scholarship to study in Ferrefaaierhafen; something that was only reserved for the Ferredaal elite back then, something that the Bollebonts were far from part of. Ferrefaaierhafen was a wondrous cornucopia of advances, freedom and wealth compared to the relative backwater that Frijheitswaterplaats was back then and Anton's eyes were opened, the way forward was not conservative, tried-and-tested methods that many of the local leaders proclaimed but instead, Ferredaal and specifically Frijheitswaterplaats should adopt a development method that was similar to his own heritage as a Maretan. A way to combine the strengths of the local population as well as incorporating the successes of the Variotan system as seen in Ferrefaaierhafen. While his father managed to expand the business into transportation, feminine healthcare products and paper manufacturing, the business wasn't growing as fast as Anton wanted. Leveraging his share of the company as collateral for a business loan to buy and start expanding Frijkaat, currently Marinusterp, back then a small town that was riddled in debt after a local pyramid scheme broke down, it was the start of his rise to fame and fortune. In 1972, two years after the start of his project, the town proclaimed him Hereditary Lantheere, an entirely ceremonial title, in a large celebration in Gladde Anton's Fis-en-Yshut, a restaurant that had been renamed in his honor; although some doubt about it being entirely positive, Gladde Anton translating into Smooth or Slippery Anton. It all went up from there, especially when he managed to inherit the Bollebont Fissers Floot corporation in 1979. Renaming it the Bollebont Maretan Groep, it became and has stayed the largest employer within the province, holding shares in almost all aspects of Ferredaal's economy. He has given his name to many of his modern projects, including the Bollebont Heereklub, the Lantheere Babu Bollebont Hotel, Nightclub and Brothel and the Babu's Buns ready-to-bake rolls, all of which feature a 'stamp' of his face. Lantheere Babu Bollebont isn't just an entrepreneur, however, as he has shown himself to be a philanthropist as well as politically active. With his Babu Bollebont Scholarship Fund, he actively supports the children of Marinusterp by providing them with scholarships in fields that are needed within the area. But this is just one of his many projects which include, but are not limited to, investing part of the profits from the Bollebont Heereklub in historic preservation. His political adventures include being a large benefactor to the Waarre Laagher Partij fan het Huisselant, the biggest opponent for the Variotan communist party, which has always seen some popularity within Ferredaal. At times, he has participated in elections for the Variotan Parliament, mayor of Frijheitswaterplaats and mayor of Marinusterp. While he has never managed to get into the Variotan Parliament, he has served as mayor of Frijheitswaterplaats between 2008 and 2010 as well as mayor of Marinusterp between 1978-1984 and 1998-2006.
  10. Het Apparath spokesperson on suspicious PMG communications and suspected communist takeover: 'We're not buying it and it's too late anyway.' Het Waarre Raket fan het Noorten has managed to get in touch with a confirmed Het Apparath member after suspicious communications from @PyeMcGowan reached the international community. With current technology being advanced enough to hide the truth for some time before it manages to escape out of a nation, we asked this member some very important questions about who, what and why. Answering us from an unconfirmed location, which we can't confirm or deny was in PyeMcGowan, the member working hard to keep our future safe was able to give us the exclusive scoop straight from the horse's mouth. So, what's happening? ''Well, we can't be sure of course. As we've all seen, there seems to have been a communist takeover within the nation of PyeMcGowan. While we obviously don't mind some communists, atleast for now, communism in general is something we're trying to keep contained as much as possible. It seems that those within the takeover tried to get smart and make it seem as if it was a hoax. They even paraded around something what was, as we now expect, the dead body of ex-Foreign Minister Borison. It's clear they're not exactly the smartest 'revolutionaries' either, as they made him say 'I'm not dead'. Who would say 'I'm not dead' in such an obvious cover-up except a dead body being animated by electroshock technology and communists? Exactly.'' Why? ''Who can say with communists? Maybe they want to buy themselves some time before we launch a civil war. I mean, the proud capitalist people of PyeMcGowan launch a civil war, of course. It's not working though, we're not buying it and we're setting things in motion. I mean, they are. You hear that, communists? Wheels have been set in motion and you're getting the hammer! The properly made, properly paid for and properly used capitalist hammer, not your smelly, old, used by everyone like a cheap busstop hooker communist hammer!'' The confirmed Het Apparath spokesperson, reporting from an undisclosed location Who's going to liberate them? ''Like I said, obviously the proud capitalist people themselves. I'd never dare suggest that we'd start a phony civil war using international donations, untraceable black market weapons and morally lacking private military companies. Obviously.'' When? ''Well, I obviously can't say when the proud capitalist people of PyeMcGowan will rise up in righteous anger and liberate their own nation without any aid from outside sources... Wink, wink, wink. Did I just say wink out loud? Hah. Still, I wouldn't like to be the PyeMcGowan postal service, customs agency or stuff like that. Everyone knows how explosive postal packages can be, don't we? And those containers... Who knows what they might contain? Not me, that's for sure. Wink. Hah.'' Thanks for taking the time to answer us! ''No, thank you. And thanks to the Variotan people and the international community for helping us keep the world safe!''
  11. Parties. Anyone could throw a party, invite some D-list wannabe celebrities and leaders and call it a day. In fact, throughout the world, that was what was being done on a daily basis. Only the true, genuinely interested to be part of the creme de la creme of the world people would attempt to throw a proper party. But what made a proper party on Eurth? What divided the social haves from the social have-nots? If one would be filling in a crossword puzzle, the solution to that question would be eight letters, two words, one person. Dina Diva. Foorste Frauwe fan'es Ferantwortelik fan'es Folke Dina Diva for those that sought to be pedantic. A true power woman, the Queen of the Nightlife, the Empress of Reality TV, Baroness of Business, Marquess of Moxxxie and the World's Greatest Diva. And yes, her moxie was definitely with three x's. Praised in long and truthful pieces of communiques by other, less important, leaders as well as on her 24/7 reality show by fans, both regular and important, and leading millions if not billions of faithful followers, Dina Diva was a powerhouse. And now, she was going to Galahindra. A place that almost no one that she asked knew of, except the agents of Het Apparath. It was always easy to spot a member of Het Apparath for her, years of training in the form of drinking in nightclubs and otherwise enjoying herself helping her. A smart twink was always a clear hint, everyone knows that smart twinks don't exist. Twinks just try to fill the empty, daddy-issue generated hole in their lives by stuffing their own hole with random, often daddy-looking, men and not by studying. You know, fun stuff. A smart twink was just a nerd and Dina Diva didn't like nerds. Not due to some misguided jealousy in regards to their intelligence, as everyone knew that Dina Diva could go toe to toe with any scientist if need be, but because most were boring. Who likes to talk about particles and splitting the nuclear atom when there's caramel vodka shots in front of you? Not Dina Diva, that's who. And she didn't need to with her favorite watering hole being the Pink Pony, the infamous nightclub owned by one of the largest Variotan adult movie studios where their actors drank free and generously. Even now, one of these actors would be the one accompanying her. Hete Henk, or Hot Henk, had eventually branched out into singing and such but he still stayed close to his roots, doing many a movie that seemed like fun. Classics like The Barebacked History of the World, Part III, Hot Henk and the Twenty-Two Midget Sailors and Prison Parts 3: Maximum Pleasure were still one of the primary reasons why tissues sold so well among the gay and bisexual community of Eurth. In the car to the airport, the two were talking among themselves and, obviously, the reality TV crew that followed Dina Diva around constantly. While some people needed to take some time to adjust to it in the beginning, Hete Henk had been in front of the camera and together with Dina Diva for so long that he no longer cared. ''Don't we need someone to carry all these substances?'' A quick twist of the camera showed the audience watching Dina Diva on her own TV channel, online or through her app the massive amount of bottles, bags and other assorted items that were laying on the other side of her pink limousine. ''Who did we have last time? Ranja, Rasta?'' ''Oh yeah, the Bahinese guy. You know, we could always go to the Pink Pony and pick up a random twink to carry our stuff. I'll let him suck my dick, it'll be fun.'' ''Do you want us to end up with someone from Het Apparath? Half of the twinks there look like they're hung because they keep a silencer in their underwear.'' ''Yeah, I guess you're somewhat right.'' ''I've got an idea. Hold on.'' Turning to her camera, Dina Diva addressed the crowd watching her. ''In case you're attractive, want to hook up with a drunk Hete Henk, don't mind carrying a ton of possibly illegal goods with only a vague definition of diplomatic immunity protecting you and are able to reach the airport in the next... oh, let's say 30, 35 minutes, shout my name if you spot my limousine at the airport. We'll throw in a free trip to Gal... Gallambria?'' ''No, uh....'' ''I know it's, like, with like Gal-something. Galicia? Garlic?'' ''Galtundra?'' ''Galahindra! That's it.'' ''Yeah girl, you're rocking it.'' ''You know it baby. Let's do some pre-flight shots together.'' As a willing production assistant pops open a couple of bottles for the two to sample, their outfits are able to be admired. Hete Henk was wearing the same outfit as to the coronation celebration in Seylos, his Eurthvision outfit. Same as then, it was still in perfect condition and it featured the ability to be removed if body shots were suddenly wanted. And let's face it, who didn't want body shots with the World's Greatest Diva and one of the best adult actors of the world? Nerds, that's who. And Dina Diva didn't like them so they wouldn't get any body shots anyway. A pair of Variotan flag pattern plateau boots finished it all. Dina Diva, leader of Het Huisselant Variota, World's Greatest Diva and allround inspirational person to women, girls and twinks everywhere. Dina Diva rocked a pretty multi-colored outfit, her tits voluptuously bulging out of a gemstone-covered top in a way that only she could rock without being trashy slutty. A diamond-encrusted crown filled with USB drives, vouchers and digital download codes of her various CD's, DVD's, books and other accomplishments adorned her head, similarly multi-colored and sexy. Her multi-colored skirt barely covered her crotch, where one could peek at a Variotan flag thong if they really wanted it. Gemstone covered, multi-colored high socks flowed into high heels with her own face on them, giving a sophisticated finish to an outfit that was pure Dina Diva, patriotic due to her thong and just generally stunning. Galahindrans might want to call themselves the fashion gurus but for anyone with two eyes, or even one, and access to her reality show, it was clear that the Variotans were rocking true high fashion this night.
  12. While this reply is pretty late, it seems pretty odd to me to send a crusade to a place where you have no real vested interest to conquer it. Jerusalem and such were very much a point of interest for the Catholics invading them and just as much for the Muslims defending/taking it back. With Eurth's history, that position wouldn't really exist here and thus, in my opinion, the crusades would lose most of their religious backing. There's obviously something to say in regards to general 'Deus Vult, murder all those of a different religion than us' but with the way things would be in that case, I'd imagine general popularity among the peasants and such being less; you'll probably still have nobles without a shot at inheriting titles wanting to have a shot at gaining something or die trying. In general, the total manpower pool and ability to gain funds, etc. would also be smaller than IRL even if the circumstances were the same. That being said, I'd imagine trying something like that would sooner lead my nation and people to work against you than with you. For one, we're probably just as close to heretics and heathens as the Muslims for any Proper Christian (TM) back then. We'd probably have just as much interest in keeping the Yellow Empire propped up for trade and/or eventual takeover for our own benefit as well as trying to keep back any streams of refugees that would naturally happen. Of course, we're always pretty opportunistic so it's not improbable that Variotan seafarers would have convoyed over crusaders in exchange for pay and promise of land or that we tried/succeeded in grabbing a bit of land here and there during weak periods of the Yellow Empire. But that's more out of the want for power and wealth than any religious zeal. Disclaimer: I've not really read the #worldbuilding channels and such for a while beyond when I got tagged so it could be that I'm missing bits and bobs of info.
  13. In case this is still open and in the interest of slowly returning to roleplaying, I'll make the party an actual party worth mentioning on Eurth by sending Dina Diva, probably flanked by a porn actor turned singer or two and a guy to carry a large bag filled with exotic Variotan spirits and whatever else can be legally used and abused or otherwise loopholed in through diplomatic immunity. (EDIT: Also, I don't want to force SSI to get to my hometown in this heat and drag me around)
  14. I've listed them more as general ideas, so 'currency', 'wealth', 'immigration', 'entertainment', etc. That way, there's room for two people to come together.
  15. Moved this into the regular parts of the forum. The writing prompts @Orioni gave are a good beginning of a list, so I'll add them. In case everything goes right, I think we could start the first sign ups at the end of the week/beginning of this weekend.
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