Jump to content

Variota

Moderator
  • Content count

    160
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    18

Variota last won the day on July 13

Variota had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

405 Excellent

5 Followers

About Variota

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    The best part of Europe

NationStates

  • NS
    Variota
  • Capital
    Ferrefaaierhafen / Grootwaterflakte
  • HoS
    Dina Diva / R. Hiltgaar / Gillofan V / G.R. Reierfer
  • HoG
    Dina Diva

Recent Profile Visitors

1,332 profile views
  1. Het Kleine Kaffee aan het Hafen or 'The Little Bar at the Harbor' was a proper institution in Lukinagrad, a place where one could eat dishes that tasted and felt as if a Variotan grandmother had made them for you. And if you were lucky enough and Annie Heelfelt was working that day and liked you, it was literally made for you by a Variotan grandmother. Her and her husband had taken the leap of cashing in their pension funds, selling their house and anything that could not come along and starting a Variotan bar in Lukinagrad in 1978. Their children were old enough to take care of themselves and neither felt like working until they were sixty and then hoping they'd have enough to travel around. Annie never lied about it being a cakewalk, however. The early years, with only a small amount of Variotans living in Lukinagrad during that time, had been rough and there had been many times when Annie had to break a bottle on the bar and threaten a drunk sailor to cut his jugular vein in order to get him to leave. She'd lived in the Fissershaak neighborhood of Ferrefaaierhafen, a true Folksbuurt, and luckily this had prepared her for situations such as this, a woman tougher than many of the sailors that entered her bar, a woman that wouldn't budge even if the man across from her was twice her size. But over time, people saw that the Heelfelts and their business were to stay, that they were honest people and that Annie knew how to make a mean uitsmijter or a beer-based hachee that had literally made grown men cry out in homesickness. And like Variotans, Lukans took care of their own. Annie did not care who you were when you entered, whether you were a criminal, cleaned bathrooms, farmed or were the Prime Minister. For as long as you were inside her bar and behaved, you were her surrogate child. Came often enough to be deemed a regular? Annie didn't even need your order, your freshly tapped beer would find its way to you. And this familiarity, this homely feeling had ensured that everyone mingled among each other. The last time Annie had needed to call the police had been nearly ten years ago, her children were more than happy to help. A drunk sailor refusing to pay his bill? 'Lukan Tony', a locally well-known football hooligan, and his boys would take them outside and lay out the options they had, leading to the sailor coming back with their tail between their legs and Annie's hard-earned money. Car, bike or moped troubles? It wasn't uncommon to see a parliamentarian work with a farmer or a police officer with a criminal to fix whatever issue you had and make sure you were able to reach a garage. Once inside, you were part of this family, part of the Heelfelts. Once, when Annie had had an accident with a large soup pot that had led to a broken foot, her regulars worked out a schedule in which they each took over a day until her foot was healed. And this feeling of familiarity, this feeling of having some form of a strange bar family that one could call upon, had led Wiktor Nikolai to become a regular as well. Well, that and Annie's killer uitsmijters, one of the few things that he missed when he went on holiday to Het Huisselant. Sitting at the dark wood bar, Wiktor Nikolai looked at his breakfast. Just the way I like it, he thought, three eggs with bacon and cheese on two slices of lightly toasted bread. Orange juice and a strong coffee, what more could a man want? Taking his cutlery, he looked at Annie who was standing on the other side of the bar. Even in her seventies, Annie maintained the same spunk and love for life that she had when she opened the bar. Short but feisty, giving you the unsalted truth. ''You know, Annie, I think he might be the one.'' "Honey, do you want to know what I think?'' ''You know I do, Annie.'' ''f*ck him already, you've both been pussy footing around it. Oh, don't give me that shocked look. What? You'd rather continue doing random guys back in the home country? You do know you can do that with him as well, right?'' ''But what about the voters?'' ''f*ck the voters. If they have issues with you being with another person that wants you too, they'll have issues anyway. What's more important to a person? A good life or that their Prime Minister bangs dudes?'' At this point, Lukan Tony decides to pipe in, enjoying a cup of coffee two stools to the right. ''Besides mate, it's not like it's a big secret. Annie, remember that one guy Wik-Nik over here brought along. What was his name, the really feminine dude... Theo!'' ''Oh yeah, Theo. I remember him, haha.'' ''Wik-Nik, you were all like: Oh no, guys. Theo is just a friend of a friend. The dude looked like he had to clench his butt cheeks to keep from swallowing the bar stool!'' ''You're not wrong there, Tony. The guy could take a whole arm up to the elbow in...'' ''Let me just stop you right there. I want to keep my appetite for when Annie's chicken soup is ready.'' ''But seriously, what about the PBP? Prime Minister dating a man is just fuel on their fire.'' ''All scum anyway Wik-Nik, those guys aren't even liked in my circles. Oh no, the Variotans are evil, boo hoo. Cry me a river. If they had their way, we'd be living in shacks within a decade with our economy in ruins because they feel some misguided pride, too good in their own mind to know when you need help.'' ''Yeah, I guess you're right.'' ''You know, Wik-Nik, speak of the devil.'' The door to the bar opened and in walked a man in a track suit, sunglasses on even if the weather outside did not require it. Annie's friendly question in regards to what the man wanted to drink was responded to with a snippy 'coffee, black, and a cola, domestic'. In a way, this was a red flag on its own. Lukan cola, produced by LuDistilleries, was absolutely horrid compared to sodas made in Variota or other nations. It was not even a true cola, instead using a strange blend of leftover fruits and herbs. The only reason LuDistilleries continued production was because it had a massive shelf life, was extremely cheap to make and bars often used it for mixed drinks, when taste mattered little. When Annie made it known that she did not stock the vile concoction that tried to pass for cola, the man made it known that he only wanted the coffee in a way that could only be described as boorish grunting. The three at the bar moved a bit closer to each other after Annie had brought the unknown man his coffee. Lukan Tony moved over to sit next to Wiktor Nikolai and Annie bent over the bar a bit so they could talk more privately. ''Tony, do you know the guy?'' ''Not personally, he's a soldier for Aleksandrov. Big weirdo, he's been kicked out of the supporters group of his football club and all.'' ''Well, I don't want that kind of person here! I'm going to tell him to leave!'' ''Nah, don't worry about it Annie. I'll collect the money for you and then make it clear he shouldn't come here once he's had his coffee.'' ''Aww, you're such a good lad. You're going to get a nice big piece of chicken extra in your soup for that.'' ''Thanks Annie.'' And so, the trio stopped hushing their speech and continued on speaking like before while the strange man seemed both awfully focused on Wiktor Nikolai and taking his time with his coffee. Only when Wiktor Nikolai had finished his breakfast and left did the man finish his coffee. Lukan Tony tried to go to the man but he sprinted out of the door, seemingly in a hurry. Both Annie and Lukan Tony looked into each others eyes and knew their thoughts were the same. ''That's not good.'' ''You're right about that, Tony. You don't have to grow up in Fissershaak to see that. You have any people you can call?'' ''We're thinking the same thing. I think that guy only came for Wik-Nik and I don't think he's looking for a fun night. I'll call one of my friends.'' Wiktor Nikolai was not in his comfort zone, driving over the long stretch of road that would lead him to a collections of farms. The Agrarnata Reformska Partija had invited him to one of the farms to enjoy a light lunch and discuss some future plans that they had to rejuvenate the agricultural sector of Lukinagrad. Normally, he would have enjoyed it, a chance to be among people, look towards the future and get a free meal out of it. But this time, he had noticed something. Ever since he had left the bar, a car with tinted windows kept following him. If he went left, they went left. If he went right, they went right. Calling the police wasn't as simple out here in the rural areas of Lukinagrad. While they would come eventually, response time was far slower than in the city and Wiktor Nikolai couldn't see any police officer coming in on time to be of service. In his mind, he could see himself end up like Nestorov but worse. Just a car on the side of the road and his dead body in a ditch, beaten to death by Partija na Braḱata na Pravdata members. Aleksandrov was not known for having tact, for being able to play the political game as it was intended. The moment in the bar, when he asked about the PBP, flashed before his eyes as the car following him sped up and passed him. For a moment, Wiktor Nikolai hoped that the car was simply some ARP member trying to be there before him in order to keep himself from looking bad. That hope vanished quickly, however, as the car rammed against his in an attempt to get him to stop. While he wasn't the best driver, Wiktor Nikolai managed to keep the car steady after the first two collisions. A mix of pure adrenaline, fear of what would happen if he stopped and repeating prayers in his mind had kept his hands steady. The third time was the charm, as they say, and while he did his best to continue on, his car hit the guardrails and he stopped on the side of the road. His pursuers quickly followed suit. One final prayer and he got out of the vehicle. In his mind, he was dead already and when dying either way, one might as well do so with their head held high. Out of the other car came four men, all wearing the same get-up as the man in the bar. Taking a double take of the four men, Wiktor Nikolai even recognized one of them as being the man in the bar. f*ck, he thought, this is a set-up. Naked body in a ditch, I guarantee it. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. As the four men neared him, the stress and adrenaline had made it so that he could only say one thing, the sole thing on his mind. ''Aleksandrov sends his regards, fan Lukansestatt.'' ''What's this? A robbery? A murder? You know who I am, right? You're not getting away with this, I have powerful friends.'' ''Haha, that's what Ivanov said when I stabbed him in the prison showers. You are funny, Variotan dog.'' Receiving a hard blow to the stomach, Wiktor Nikolai fell on his knees. The men all drew knives and just as it seemed that they would carve him up like a Sunday roast, screeching tires could be heard and a van rushed to their location. The four didn't seemed phased, willing to carry out the will of their party leader even if there were witnesses. Each of them had been to prison and another stint would have just meant additional respect among the others. This attitude was quickly changed when the side doors opened up and the men saw the barrels of Varinco assault rifles aimed at them. ''DROP THE f*ckING KNIVES AND GET ON YOUR KNEES!'' Out of the passenger side of the van came a short, stocky and hairy man with a big gold chain around his neck. Wearing a suit that would be right at home in an 80s crime show, his chest hairs protruding out of his silk dress shirt, Wiktor Nikolai had seen him before but could not place a name by the face. The man seemed just as phased by the idea of the four men with knives turning against him as the men had been about the van arriving on the scene. For whatever reason, later revealed to be a stab vest, the man did not care. ''Drop the f*cking knives and get on your knees. My boys here know how to shoot and even if they didn't, it's not like they'll miss you at this range.'' The four quickly complied with the commands given by this mystery man and dropped both themselves and their knives to the ground. The mystery man's cronies, five in total in the back of the van and one driving, exited the van and surrounded the scene in a half circle while Wiktor Nikolai struggled to get back up on his feet. Unbeknownst to him, the mystery man had grabbed a baseball bat from the van and was now looking at the four PBP thugs in the time he took to compose himself. ''Prime Minister fan Lukansestatt, if you will be so kind to point out the man that attacked you.'' ''Uh, that one. The one with the aviator sunglasses.'' Not five seconds had passed after he had pointed out the man that had punched him to the ground before the mystery man swung his bat against the man's face, knocking his teeth out. As the road turned a mix of grey, white and red from the blood and displaced teeth, the mystery man turned to the others. Two of the others hadn't even flinched but one, presumably the youngest, was shaking and seemed scared. A smile crept up on the face of the mystery man. ''You! You're lucky, you know that? You get to be the one to return to your boss and tell him that he'll receive parts of your friends in the mail soon. Or do you think he'll enjoy finding their severed heads in his childrens' beds more? Because that can be arranged.'' ''Do-Don-Don't do that, please. Please.'' ''Did you listen to our Prime Minister over here when he didn't want to be murdered?'' ''N-no sir.'' ''Exactly. Besides, you're the lucky one, remember. You're going to be alive. But first, Gregor! Shoot him in the groin!'' One of the cronies, the one seemingly called Gregor, shot off one round into the man's groin. A bloodcurdling scream could be heard coming from the man. ''That's for being such a dickless pussy. Ganging up four against one against a politician? Back in my neighborhood...'' ''AAAAAAAAAAH!'' ''Oh yes, thanks for reminding me. Here...'' The mystery man takes a small bottle of pills and bandages out of his pockets and throws it at the now-groinless PBP thug. ''That should last you just enough time to crawl back to Aleksandrov, if you're fast enough. Go, now! Run to the car, move!'' As if guided by supernatural forces, the thug was gone within a minute, leaving the others behind. Of course, when you're the only one with a chance of survival, it becomes a whole lot easier to rush off. ''You know, fan Lukansestatt, you're lucky. You really are. You're lucky that one of my poker buddies called me. I think you know him, Lukan Tony?'' ''He did?'' ''Him and that nice Variotan lady smelled trouble so he told me. And I obviously couldn't let the Prime Minister that enabled me to start my car business to just die, could I?'' ''Now I remember, you're Romeo Dimitrovski, right?'' ''Right in one try. Our kind of people have to watch out for each other, fan Lukansestatt.'' ''Gay people?'' ''What the f*ck did you just call me?'' ''Well, you said our kind of people. You're not a politician, not of Variotan heritage, you're not a regular at the same bar so there's very little else left.'' Leaning into Wiktor Nikolai, Romeo did precisely the opposite of what one would normally do after falsely being called a homosexual. ''Let's just say we... know people in the same circles. Our apparath'n are working towards the same goal, yes?'' ''I... Ah. I, um, get what you are saying. Yes.'' Looking at the three men still on their knees, Wiktor Nikolai couldn't help but ask about the elephant in the room or, in this case, on the road. ''Will they be alright?'' ''Oh, no no no. They won't. But that's not for you to worry about. Have a drink, get yourself some random guy to sleep with. Do you like Viktor here? Viktor, you swing both ways, right?'' ''I... I will. And sorry Viktor, but you're a bit too buff for my taste. I want to be the man in the relationship and all that.'' ''Hah, did you hear that guys? Viktor got rejected by the Prime Minister! Hahaha. Fan Lukansestatt, I like you. Maybe, if our lives had both gone different, we would have been friends.'' ''It could still happen.'' ''No, no it cannot. We run in different circles, we are different men. Besides, I do not think our friends would be happy if such a thing happened. Drive safe and here...'' Putting his hand in another jacket pocket, Romeo threw a phone to Wiktor Nikolai. A small, older model phone, this was clearly intended as a burner phone. ''If you get threatened again or you don't trust the situation, call the number on that phone. Gregor and his boys will come to your aid. Guaranteed faster than the police and less need for paperwork afterwards, haha. Load these three up, boys! Yevgeny will have some fun with them.'' The three men were quickly forced into the van, their hands tied behind their backs with cable ties. With the three men loaded up, Romeo's cronies in the van and Romeo himself getting ready to get in, Wiktor Nikolai had just one thing left to say. ''Hey, Romeo?'' ''Yes?'' ''Thanks. You literally saved my life.'' ''That's what allies are for. Just remember to buy Lukan Tony a nice bottle of something or give him some cigarettes, he'll get pissy otherwise.'' ''Oh, I will.'' ''Good, good man. Let's go boys!''
  2. List has been updated, haven't yet added Alan Dale as you (@Rihan) said you're contemplating on using him. When you've decided, let me know and I'll add him in right away.
  3. In the valley of the dead, The whips cracked every day, Our people to slave away, The coloreds crown set to gain Our Kommando so proud, Hearty and stout, Men and women without life, Men without wife, Women without child, Giving to those, What they could not have And Hendryk would shout, Those people are ours, And ours alone! We'll crack our guns, Our aim without miss, For God made us free, And freedom is bliss. - The March of Freedom and Faith The Crusade of the Vengeful Damned (1850) by Kartnaal L.F. Reierfer (Translated into English) Hendryk Fransiskus Reierfer-fan Gautfanger (1801-1864), born Hendryk Fransiskus Stanthouwer, was a Variotan businessman, ex-slave, politician, first and only leader of the short-lived Frije Reepubliek Ferredaal and Kommandant of the 'Wraaksoekene Fertoemte' Laagher Kommandos. He is best known for his role in the liberation of Ferredaal, known in Bahinese as Mrtyata, and ending the white slavery practices by the Maranese inhabitants of this area. Domestically, Hendryk F. Reierfer is seen as a hero if a controversial one, ending the slavery and raids into Klan Reierfer-territory that he himself had been a victim of, while also enabling the former slaves to take over authority from their former owners and growing Het Huisselant. Internationally, opinions remain divided as historical reports say that Hendryk, changed by his experience as a slave, had an extreme hatred and blood-lust towards the Marenese and enabled and approved of retaliatory actions by former slaves. These actions led to most of the casualties in the conflict happening after the end of hostilities and stunted the growth of the Marenese population dramatically, whom until this day remain a minority within the Variotan province of Ferredaal. He was made a honorary part of Klan Reierfer for his role in the conflict in 1824 and carried the last name Reierfer from then on. The son of a hunter and a housewife, Hendryk was captured in a Marenese raid while his father was out hunting. The fifteen year old Hendryk had decided to stay home in order to aid his mother, who was bedridden at the time. When the Marenese raided the Stanthouwer home, on the peripheral of the village, they found Hendryk and his mother and while they would have normally captured her as well, her bedridden state made her more of a risk than she was worth in the minds of the Marenese, as she would have been able to infect other slaves. Not wanting to take the chance of her somehow crawling out of bed and warning the village, they slit her throat while Hendryk watched. In his memoirs, he lists this as the main event that changed him. 'My mother was weak and feeble in her state, only a danger to herself. They could have left her and in all likelihood, if my father had taken too long to return, would have died from her illness. But instead of giving her the one dignity she truly deserved in the world, a peaceful last rest, they ended her like a butcher would end a pig. As I watched the blood seep from her throat, I could feel myself change instantly. Harden. I could not cry, for they would win, for they would see me as weak. At that time, I promised myself and my mother something. I would never be weak ever again and I would take revenge. I would make them suffer, have their children go through the same as I did. Before, when mother was not yet ill, I had gone along with the hunt and my aim generally held true so in my eyes, I had the skills needed. And as I looked at the Marenese bastards, I found that I could no longer imagine them as human. As having lives other than being garbage, having a family to return to. Having children, being like us. All I could see was a creature not worth the air it inhaled, a creature poisoning the world simply by existing. Later, I came to the conclusion that this made me quite similar to them in regards to my mindset. It made me think like them, it made me think as if they were prey. But unlike them I have and had righteousness behind me, the blessing of God remains on my actions even if they made streets red from flowing blood, even if a lot of future Marenese slavers lost their fathers. I freed Gods Chosen People and ensured that no other child had to become like me. I take pride in that and when I die, I will spit down into Hell just in the hope of hitting one of those that I have killed.' Hendryk was sold to a wealthy butcher in the Marenese capital of Gulamina as he had experience with skinning and butchering animals. Here, he worked seven days a week, fourteen hours a day chained to the floor. He slept, ate and otherwise lived in an adjacent room, the smell of blood, meat and death always present. Doing this for four years, he became quite proficient with knifes and later used these skills to force information out of Marenese prisoners during the conflict. In 1820, he managed to escape by stabbing his master in the neck after he came too close and stealing the keys to his chains. Moving towards the border, Hendryk stumbled upon a small manor where a retired Marenese commander and his wife lived. While reports remain hazy on how he did it, Hendryk greeted the couple's five slaves with the severed head of the commander and the declaration that they were now free. Among these five would be Filomeda fan Gautfanger, heiress to the Gautfanger Mining Corporation and soon-to-be right hand woman of Hendryk, captured during a raid on a village that contained a mine she was inspecting. Like Hendryk, she too had been changed by the physical, mental and, in her case, sexual abuse suffered during her time as a slave and immediately pledged her family's fortune and herself to Hendryk's cause. Feelings slowly grew between the two similar souls and after the conflict, they got married. Due to the abuse Filomeda suffered, she had become infertile and while the couple could not gain children biologically, they ended up fostering and adopting six children, all of which were ex-slaves themselves. Arriving in Reierferplattoterp a month after their escape, parts done on horseback, Filomeda reconnected with her family, whom had thought her to be dead. Hendryk would name the feast that the fan Gautfangers threw in his honor to be something that he could have only dreamed of, both as a slave and as a rural village boy. At this point in history, the fan Gautfangers controlled the majority of gold mining within the Klan Reierfer Gebiet and had a finger in the pie in regards to all other forms of mining, their importance and wealth reaching throughout Het Huisselant. When Hendryk and Filomeda came with their plan, the fan Gautfangers agreed to finance it but advised them to plan and train for it carefully, an advice they took. While Filomeda stayed in Reierferplattoterp to arrange for a shipment of rifles and munition as well as trainers, Hendryk being the only one of the six with a reasonable amount of experience with a rifle, Hendryk went back to his village with the four other escapees. Finding his home vacant and gathering dust, Hendryk asked the villagers and received the grave news that his father had committed suicide shortly after his capture. Unable to live with his wife being murdered and his son gone, presumed dead or worse, he had loaded his rifle one last time and had made himself his last target. Hendryk's wail as he heard the news was said to be heard throughout the forest, piercing the ears of those that heard it and led to the whole village pouring out to see what had made that sound. In an emotional speech, Hendryk called upon every man and woman able and willing to join him in his plan to take revenge on the Marenese. Twenty-five signed up, fifteen of which were women who had lost their husbands to the slavers. Some joined Hendryk on his journey back to Reierferplattoterp while others elected to travel to other villages affected by the slaver raids and call upon the villagers there to join. By the time the shipment of rifles and munitions arrived, Hendryk held personal command over two-hundred men and women with two other Laagher Kommandos of the same size joining him. Six months of training in ranged and melee combat, ambush tactics, survival skills, discipline and more followed. The first skirmish of the conflict would be the Raid on the Shinde Plantation in December 1820, when Hendryk and fifty of his Vengeful Damned attacked during the night and slaughtered all twelve Marenese adults on the plantation. The only Marenese survivors, the six and twelve-year old sons of the plantation owner, were forced to sign documents stating that the former slaves now owned it. The forty former slaves, appropriating the rifles their former guards and masters used, pledged their support to Hendryk during a celebratory evening feast. During said feast, they forced the two children to fight each other for their entertainment. Both sustained major wounds, as those watching threw bottles and other objects at them, and did not make it past the morning, the first victims of retaliatory actions. The Marenese are a people originally originating from Bahinar. While it remains unknown what event precisely made the Marenese move to Ferredaal, it is known that they were deemed part of the lower castes and were generally despised by the Bahinese of that time. King Akul I, settling in Ferredaal in 1738 with his people and founding the Marenese Kingdom, was friendly towards Klan Reierfer and Het Huisselant and maintained trade deals with both. Under one of his successors, King Tamas, ruling from 1792 to 1804, the nation changed. The Marenese economy was flourishing and, in order to ensure said growth maintained, King Tamas ordered the capture of slaves from nearby areas to work the fields and provide services. Due to it being the frontier, this remained unnoticed or seen as wild rumors for some years. The central government of Het Huisselant was far away and while Klan Reierfer's government was nearer, it was also far less capable of taking action. Trade was halted in 1808, after a runaway slave managed to get to safety, and the Marenese raided frontier towns indiscriminately afterwards, as there was no reason to keep it hidden any more. Klan Reierfer military detachments were sent into the border area of the Marenese Kingdom in 1809, 1812 and 1816 in order to attempt to halt slavery but were generally forced to turn back, facing superior numbers. The slave population of the Marenese Kingdom in 1820 was estimated to be fifteen percent of their total population or sixty-six thousand out of four-hundred and forty thousand inhabitants, a large share of which lived on plantations or other rural properties. Retaliatory actions and casualties within the conflict had ensured that in August 1821, when Hendryk Fransiskus Reierfer-fan Gautfanger, then still Hendryk Fransiskus Stanthouwer, declared the Frije Reepubliek Ferredaal, it was estimated that one-third of the Marenese population had been killed. This large amount of losses, largely focused on males, ensured that their population figures were never the same and, in what could be called a sick form of irony, many Marenese women ended up marrying or remarrying Variotan men. In modern times, almost one million or near thirty-five percent of Ferredaal's population counts themselves among the Maretans, a distinct hybrid ethnic group that has taken traditions and parts from both cultures. Only ten percent, or two-hundred-sixty-four thousand, remain part of the Marenese ethnicity. Many parts of their culture and history in the area have been forcefully removed after the conflict, only Gulamina maintains a significant amount of Marenese architecture, culture and history. Eighty percent of all Marenese live in or around Gulamina, sometimes wrongfully named the best Bahinese experience outside of Bahinar by travel guides, sites and vlogs. This tends to anger the Marenese, who are quick to point out that they have their own culture and customs separate of Bahinar. OOC note: This is just stuff to help you (and me) to get a feel of the general setting. The actual RPing part of the RP will start with the Raid on the Shinde Plantation.
  4. Variota

    Nasionale TeleSicht Variota

    Star of the moment Cherry Vooters declares: This isn't the last you'll hear about the Vooters Food Group growing! Who does not know the Vooters Food Group? Owner and operator of delightful ventures such as the Vooters Chestaurants, where scantily-clad men serve and entertain you during your meal, Vooters Air, where scantily-clad men do the same during your flight, Snelkoop mini marts and since recently, LuDistilleries. And in front of every rising company is a rising star, the mastermind of it all. Within the Vooters Food Group, this position is held by the talented Cherry Vooters. Lauded alumni of the University of Ferrefaaierhafen and proud Ferrefaaierhafenaar, he can often be found cruising the streets in his Vooters-purple convertible, often filled with an entourage of men that wouldn't look bad in one of his many Chestaurants. His fur and high heel collections know no equal among the socialites of Ferrefaaierhafen and his make-up, repeatedly mentioned in tabloids, has led him to release a series of vlogs with tips for men and women wanting to improve. He regularly parties with important faces such as Waldemar Kewastemere, Kaltoer Party leader, and was declared 'Most Influential Businessperson Under 30' by Kwoot in 2017. But what drives this amazing man? What are his goals? Is he seeing someone? Those are the important questions here. And Het Waare Raket fan het Noorten has the answers for you. Gracefully allowing us to meet him at his favorite restaurant, the Vooters in the Heerefal Casino Resort, we picked his brain about all things Vooters. The rising star of Variotan business, Cherry Vooters, wearing Vooters purple lipstick. Cherry, can we call you Cherry? For sure, darling. Cherry will do just fine. Did I ever tell the story about why I changed it? No, you did not. Please, go ahead. Thanks babe. So, as I'm sure you know that Cherry isn't my original name. Like, who the f*ck in Variota would name their child after the English name for a kers? Name the fruit after a fruit, that's some high level irony hahaha. But, you know how it goes. You get a nice Limonaian boy toy with some apparent form of speech impediment because he can't pronounce Jerry right and suddenly it becomes Cherry. And you can't dump the guy because he's a contortionist and does stuff that would put another person in the hospital. So you live with it and him for a couple of months before the trick gets old and then you find out that everyone keeps calling you Cherry even after he's been deported back to Limonaia. And it sort of stuck, you know. So I had my name legally changed from Joris to Cherry. Cherry has become a part of me, you know? Ask a person about Vooters and they think of our ventures. Ask a person about Cherry and you can be bloody sure they'll try to point you to a grocery store, try to sell you the fruit or mention me once they know you're talking about a person. You recently acquired LuDistilleries for five-hundred million Waarttemun, an amount that some deem to be too much, Vooters Air has been up and running for a while now, these are all costs. There seem to be new Vooters locations opening every day, Snelkoop is expanding. Critics say that you're overextending. Haters gonna hate. The Vooters Food Group has always been an environment, a company, a community where we keep a daring mentality. When my father founded it in 1979, Vooters was a gamble. Would people love the formula of getting served a menu of meat and or eggplant-based dishes by gorgeous men in very little clothing? And it worked. And it has kept on working. All our ventures are working, all our ventures are making a profit. When you want a good meal with the family or with the boys at a reasonable price, where do you go? Girls night out? Vooters. Because Vooters has good food, proper drinks, eye candy and entertainment at a reasonable price. Fun for the whole family. You're pumping gas and your kid shouts out 'Dad, I want some nachos!' or 'Dad, get me some chocolate!'. Snelkoop is there, making your kids happy and making money from it. Vooters Air has been running flights with a higher occupancy rate than other airlines on our routes. Our formula works. And critics are often quick to exaggerate. Vooters Air is a joint venture with Bel-Aires, an airline from Beleareas. They provide the airplanes and pilots, we handle the whole in-flight situation. Costs for that have been great and it's working out. Other airlines will have to work twice as long to come towards the black as we have to do, as all the components we needed were already in existence. They had the airplanes and pilots, we have the brand, the food, the staff and logistics needed. Things came together and it's just great when it does, you know? And really, expect us to expand even more. I've already put plans in motion to consolidate the minority shares Vooters Food Group has in various supermarkets in order to found our very first chain of hypermarkets. If all goes well, the world will soon be able to enjoy the Valmart formula. Good quality products at low prices, regular bargains that we've been able to buy at liquidation sales and such, Vooters Express locations in the larger ones. And all the employees will wear a construction worker version of the Vooters uniform or a security guard version of it. Real hard hats, safety boots and of course a protective cup. It'll be so much fun! And the LuDistilleries? Well, listen. We own Kippervos, right? They are premium brand vodka, everyone will agree. Dina Diva herself is a great fan of our caramel vodka, I'll have you know. LuDistilleries maintains a fair market share in an entire different bracket of vodkas. LuVodka has seen recent popularity with the youth for it's relatively low price and by hipsters because it comes from a 'real' country. If Lukinagrad is so 'real', why not go even realer and drink Bahinese vodka? They must be the real OG's for these people but when I ask them that, all they can do is fish mouth me. You know, when they just to that mouth thingey without speaking? So annoying. Oooh, this gives me an idea to buy a Bahinese distillery. Do they have distilleries? I honestly don't know. Anyway, LuDistilleries is making profit already and with our expertise, that can only grow. And the price? Well, I think it was just right. That money is going to be pumped back into Lukinagrad by fan Lukansestatt and his ministers and that's something that can only end up benefiting us in the end. When people have more to spend, they buy more of our products. It's a win-win. And the people end up gaining something as well, as all employees will be given a share of the profits. You know why? Because this will make them recommend LuDistilleries products to friends and family, they'll work and perform harder as they have a stake in it. And that share of the profits improves their life, pays for education, pays for necessities. Healthier, happier employees that pass on the loyalty to our businesses to their children. And those children will have a better chance at education, leading to a greater pool of educated workers we can hire here. Educated workers with a good bias towards us. It's a win-win. Goodwill always pays back, who does good receives good things. Are you seeing anyone? No, I'm keeping it casual at the moment. I wouldn't say all different guys each night but certainly one guy changes each night out of the four. Some stay for a second or third day, you know how it is. It's the Vooters purple convertible, I think. It makes their nipples tingle from the wind. Or maybe it's my massive eggplant. I have a refrigerated display for it and any time it goes bad, I have the workers in the nearby distribution center find me a massive eggplant to replace it with. But yeah, just keeping it casual. With all the work I do, I just want to relax and hang back, you know? It's why I like eating in a Vooters, it's familiar. Hold on. At this point, Cherry quickly grabs the ass of a passing waiter while saying 'Daddy likes! Rawr!'. They quickly exchange phone numbers before interview continues. Where was I? Oh yeah, it's just very familiar. Everyone feels like family here and since I own the place, all I need to decide is if I want to leave a tip. I'm going to give that guy a huge tip... I mean, leave him a huge tip. Yeah. Thanks Cherry. You're welcome, babe. You're kinda cute yourself, what's your number?
  5. The Embassy of Het Huisselant Variota & Honorary Consulate of the Democratic Republic of Bahinar to the Democratic State of Lukinagrad The Office of the Honorable Ambassador and Honorary Consul Dr. Willem Naarestaar The Variotan embassy in Lukinagrad was an odd one.The small size of the nation and treaties in place to arrange for free entry of Variotan citizens for short stays had meant that the embassy was only lightly staffed and lightly visited, even if it was the only one in the nation. Other nations still maintained some form of diplomacy with Lukinagrad however, due to the low amount of visitors and the relatively small amount of trade done with nations other than Het Huisselant, none was quite willing to spend the required funds to maintain an embassy and the few travelers from all over the world were advised to visit the Variotan embassy instead. Very few tended to see the small signage just under the large sign stating 'Ambasada na Vartotanski', denoting it's additional use as an honorary consulate of North Bahinar. North Bahinar, or the Democratic Republic of Bahinar as it was officially called, maintained some trade with Lukinagrad. While the middle and higher classes of Lukinagrad would attempt to afford Variotan-made consumer goods, toys or other imports from wealthier nations, as they were deemed of a better quality, the lower classes generally had no such luck and for many, frugality and watching for a good deal was a way of life. One of the fields the Bahinese had managed to find success in was toys. For a fraction of the price, North Bahinar churned out similar toys to those made in Variota and many others. Wanted a nice set of construction toys? The Bahinese 'Letgor' brand featured sets quite similar to the main brands at a quarter of the price. For many of the Lukan lower class, the choice was simple and Bahinese toys found a willing market in Lukinagrad. And as it goes, trade grows ties. For both North Bahinar and Lukinagrad, this had slowly become a good thing. Lukinagrad's only university, the King Branko I University, was internationally seen as a mediocre school, one used by Variotans with too much cash to spend and too little sense to get into a Variotan university. Yet, for the North Bahinese, mediocre was good enough. They didn't need a good foreign university on their curriculum vitae, they just needed any foreign university. And thus, KB1U saw a surprising amount of Bahinese students. And similarly for the Lukans, North Bahinar contained universities that fulfilled their need. Many could not afford a university in Variota without attempting to gain financial aid from either the Lukan government or the various Variotan groups that offered financial aid to students. Yet, the same study in North Bahinar was affordable and acceptable for Lukan standards. With KB1U only maintaining a very basic amount of studies, this meant that many of the Lukans that had gone to higher education in the last twenty-five years had their diploma from a Bahinese university. With each group of Bahinese students, issues arose that had to be dealt with by diplomats and paper pushers. Some large, some small but all to be handled, in the end, by the Variotan embassy. Whether they felt uncomfortable for taking up so many time and means or if it was simply a calculated move intended to cement the growing relations between the two nations, the North Bahinese ended up declaring the Variotan embassy an honorary consulate of the Democratic Republic and the Variotan ambassador an honorary consul of North Bahinar in the late 90's. Other than the North Bahinese sending two people, both general bureaucrats intended to deal with student issues, and a small sign, it changed very little. Variotan Ambassadors to Lukinagrad were automatically made Honorary Consuls and life went on. Dr. Willem Naarestaar had never really intended to end up in the position of Ambassador. Originally an arborist that ended up specializing in state-of-the-art tree surgery, he had been invited in 1998 to attend to a large tree in front of the Lukan parliament that was reportedly planted by King Nikolai II. Heavily damaged by storms, the tree required extensive surgery beyond the means and knowledge of the Lukan gardeners tending to the parliament. As a charitable action and as an attempt to gain good relations domestically, Lukansestatt Tabbakswaaren sponsored the hiring of Dr. Naarestaar. The then twenty-eight year old, freshly graduated from the Ronald Q. Terpereier University in Finfishafen, was quickly put on a boat and rushed to Lukinagrad. Spending two days working on the tree, Naarestaar managed to save it and became a minor celebrity. Why people made a celebrity from someone that saved a tree? Well, in a nation as Lukinagrad where the main industries are the main ingredients for a depressing single life, there wasn't really much to do. There was the yearly LuDistilleries vodka tasting day, the festivals on both the Lukan and Variotan national day, occasionally a restaurant or organisation would import whatever washed up former-regional celebrity they could get to do it on the cheap. People drank, people sat in the sun, people watched television. But when the twentieth rerun of a Variotan 90's sitcom about a Variotan-Fulgistani-Bahinese gay triangle relationship came on, the only thing RTL could afford on it's tiny foreign acquisition budget, people had enough and generally left the television alone until the news came. And when you only watch two things a day, you tend to remember things. With nothing major happening in the nation, Naarestaar saving the tree became the story of the day. In gratitude, the Lukan people gave him a two-month stay as a gift, one he greedily accepted. Freshly graduated, anywhere outside of his sad little student apartment sounded pretty good. While studying the various trees of Lukinagrad, he was found by an intern of Radio Televizija Lukinagrad that had been told to make a thirty minute segment on a thousand Lukan Denar budget. Willem, his stay already paid for, agreed to help by filling a thirty minute segment by talking about the various trees in Lukinagrad for free. The segment, a short documentary-style piece was aired after the news in the morning and became a big hit with the Lukan population. Radio Televizija Lukinagrad, sensing a cheap way to regularly broadcast something other than the sitcom, offered him his own show. Eventually, the show expanded to the entire forest, including the animals, and provided tips to farmers and regular citizens alike on how to treat their plants and trees. Running from 1998 to 2006, the show was still used in schools and occasionally re-run on RTL. With the previous ambassador stopping in 2005, deciding to retire to Reierferplattoterp, Naarestaar was asked to take over. And so he did. Even kept on doing the show for a year, giving his salary for the show away to charity. But in the end, being the only ambassador was a hard position. And with increasing Bahinese student numbers, it was needed for him to jump in and work on the paperwork once in a while. Since then, he had kept on being a bureaucrat, pushing paper. Except during his lunch hour, when he climbs into the tree in front of the parliament to eat his lunch. Once in a while, a new police officer would attempt to chase him off the tree until he told them to f*ck off and that he had diplomatic immunity. Of course, he had received permission from the gardeners of the parliament to do so but his way was far more enjoyable. The Embassy itself was semi-detached, attached to a theme restaurant serving Variotan cuisine. Business cards, offering a 10% discount on the food, for the Meneer Smikkelbeer Buffet sat on the reception desk in the lobby. Ludmilla, herself a quarter-Variotan, had been with the embassy for forty years serving as the receptionist and security. A remarkable weight lifter and shot putter, even if she was sixty now, Ludmilla could remove any man that tried to force himself in. Once, she had to literally throw out a drunk guy and did so with ease. On a separate occasion, she threw a yoyo, impounded from her son, ironically at the same drunk guy but seven months later. The rest of the ground floor contained some uninteresting offices, filled with the bureaucratic ants and support staff an embassy needed. The one-story basement was mostly used for storage, although a small corner was kept aside for Leo's 'office', the armed security guard annex IT guy. First floor contained the two Bahinese bureaucrats and a Variotan one empowered by the North Bahinese government, generally busy throughout the day with various students, their archive and the server room for the embassy. The bureaucrats had an open office floor, splitting it up with some plants and a statue instead of a wall, and a small waiting area. The second floor was completely reserved for the ambassador, containing his living quarters, including a seperate exit leading to the Meneer Smikkelbeer Buffet parking lot, and his office. The office itself was mostly wood furnished. One would imagine a person like Naarestaar to slowly become some tree-hugging hippie, thinking that trees should gain rights like people have. But Naarestaar saw the tree for what it was really intended to, to be used by the humans. And as such, a lovely wooden floor was adorned by a rug featuring a Variotan flag pattern, a large and heavy wooden bookcase contained knick-knacks and all kinds of books that he could need during his work and a large wooden desk adorned the back of the office. During meetings with important visitors, Willem asked Leo to come up and stand behind him. While an armed guard had never been needed, Willem had found out that visitors were far more willing to work with him if he had Leo behind him, as if it gave him some real power. As if he could have Leo shoot the visitor in the face. And sure, Willem had thought about it. Who wouldn't have thought about it in 13 years of ambassadorial duties? He remembered one extremely fat, greasy and stinky Bahinese official. People say that money doesn't stink and that corruption can't be smelled but this man reeked as bad as his personality was. From what he could find on the computer, the man was the mayor of some tiny town. A man capable of a comfortable life in North Bahinar but not someone able to send their children to a foreign university. Of course, suddenly a factory is opened there and here comes a fat slob that's in possession of more cash than his whole family ever owned and thinks he's suddenly Dina Diva because he happens to be technically able to afford a down payment on a trailer in Variota. The man screamed and shouted, his fatty under-chins neck combo shaking in the air, because he figured that, since the Bahinese were helped in the same building, the Variotan government owed him an educational grant for his son. Continuing on for two hours, Naarestaar had wanted to give Leo the command to shoot the man no less than one-hundred and fifty times. When the man left, all the furniture had to be deep cleaned at a cost larger than the educational grant would have been. For a while, Naarestaar had thought to send a bill but then figured that a bald chicken could not be plucked. This meeting would go better however, even if it had been sprung on him without much notice. While there had been a time of official letters and what not, Naarestaar and fan Lukansestatt, the current Prime Minister, were longtime friends and fan Lukansestatt had simply instant messaged him to ask if he was in his office. Willem wasn't really sure what they were. Wiktor Nikolai had, on many occasions, given him flirty looks but had he really? Was the slow brush along his inner thigh during poker night meant as a flirty thing or just as a friends thing, making Willem relax? Maybe the time spent among nature and paperwork had made Willem dense to the attention. Or maybe his desire for such attention made him too sensitive to it. A champagne bottle with too much pressure will explode even if just grazed. When fan Lukansestatt entered the office, it was clear that he hadn't come to ask to lunch together or otherwise be social. With a serious but happy face, Wiktor Nikolai entered the office and promptly deposited a large binder on the desk of Willem. ''What's this?'' ''I did it, Willem. I bloody did it.'' ''What did you do?'" ''In here, is a proposition to include the Democratic State of Lukinagrad into Het Huisselant in exchange for extensive economic help and rights. I'll have to call in favors like you wouldn't know but I know, I just bloody know that I can get the parliament to vote it in.'' ''Wait, what?"' ''You heard me. Can you send it to Lopentlant?" "I can, sure. But can't you do it too? Probably just as fast." ''Well, that's not all I'm coming here for. We're going out to dinner to celebrate, I'll pay. You'll soon be out of a job when we're under the same yoke, haha.'' ''I'm still Honorary Consul of North Bahinar...'' ''Are they paying you?" ''No, no they don't. I just get sent Letgor boxes. I don't even like construction toys.'' ''Exactly."
  6. Variota

    Expansion/Removal: Fleur de Lys

    My response didn't require a response, only an action on your part. When I go online, I don't check every thread. Looking back when I was asked feedback by SSI is when I saw the thread. I'm not a member of the ISTC, so ISTC business does not interest me as much as other threads would. As for a mark of respect, do you really genuinely believe you deserve respect at the moment? I don't think so. Your attitude, the sole fact that you are so bloody dense or so bloody entitled to not leave says enough. You want concrete cases? How about the many times you called me scum? I remember one time, I mentioned that De Gaulle was mentioned as the prototype of a certain version of dictator, something that I had read in a book. I even mentioned that I would look it up when I had the time. Didn't stop you from cursing me out before that, without reason, calling me every name under the sun. I remember multiple times when I thought 'Hmm, let's leave Europa alone for the day' because of you. You know why? Because you're a toxic person. You want a concrete case? I'm it. You have, on multiple occasions, ruined my enjoyment of this community. And don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a proper discussion, I'm understanding of things heating up. One thing I can tell you is that since you left, 9 out of 10 arguments, 9 out of 10 fights have stopped. And those that do happen? Easily solved. Additionally, please f*ck off with the racism accusation. I have nothing against the French people in general, I have something against you in this case. Because you're a toxic person. And that's me keeping it civil. Honestly, the irony of this isn't lost on me. If you'd have been on the Discord, you would have been that I actually discussed it with Prymont and why it wasn't, in my eyes, acceptable. So, bravo. Two false accusations from you to me in one post. Let me reiterate my original message: Fleur de Lys, you are unwanted here by me. I can truly, genuinely say that if we would live in the same town, in the same social circles, if we knew each other in real life, I'd avoid you like the plague. You seem to be that special amount of arrogant, dense and entitled that makes a person absolutely unbearable to be with unless I watch my words and act 100% in agreement with your ideas, with your mindset. But here's the thing, right, we don't know each other in real life. There's no need for us to interact with each other, no need for me to keep on being friendly for the sake of mutual friends. So take the hint and go away. Be the good guy for once and leave. But I know better and presumably, you'll not leave but instead want to prove how you're not the bad guy, you just want yadayada. So let me put this situation in front of you: Let's say you rejoin, then what? My guess is that there are going to be members that will refuse to acknowledge you, I know I'm going to be one of them. You're not worth taking away my enjoyment from this region, not worth spending the time to handle. I've already told the modcave that I won't give my opinion on anything regarding moderation action against you unless they want me to. With how this all went, you can be sure that members have changed perspectives of you, so it's never going to be the same anyway. Presumably, at some point, you'll return to the Discord. But seeing as you haven't changed and probably won't, arguments will flare up again, fights will flare up again. And then what? Strike one, strike two, strike three? FdL forcefully removed from the region? I translated the idiom to French using Google Translate: Garde l'honneur pour toi. So FdL, garde l'honneur pour toi and leave on your own accord with your head held high. Do that and you'll gain some actual respect from me. You're free to respond to this but take note that I won't respond back as I do not feel any further conversation between us would end up positive and productive.
  7. Variota

    Expansion/Removal: Fleur de Lys

    Note that I'm responding to this on my own personal terms, not within my position as a moderator. As it stands, I do not think Fleur de Lys will be, under any circumstances, able to rejoin the community in a productive way. It is clear that Fleur de Lys does not trust the new moderation staff, creating a situation in which it is not possible to properly work with him. These issues with the moderation team is something that I have also brought up in the mod cave. It is clear that Fleur de Lys does not enjoy the community and vice versa. The Discord is an active part of the OOC interaction within the community, hence why I feel comfortable mentioning it. We have all seen the difference of Fleur de Lys being part of it and when he is not. Fleur de Lys has clearly shown a lack of respect towards members of the existing moderation staff both in his posts and in PMs. Taking into account that this was a member that he was normally very friendly with too, this is something that's a major red flag. There are rather minor examples on this forum with the real examples in the mod cave. Fleur de Lys has shown a disregard for the wishes of other members that feel that he is a negative impact on their enjoyment and experience and has, instead of finding a middle ground or attempting to show that he isn't, repeatedly used snark and attacks. This simply solidifies the fact that members see him as a negative impact. All of the above fosters a toxic community and it, along with other issues that have happened in the past, has made me come to the conclusion that Fleur de Lys as his personality is currently, is a toxic person in general. As it clear that Fleur de Lys is unable to keep the honor to himself (I'm going to presume this idiom translates good enough into English), let me be clear: I do not want Fleur de Lys to return. Many members do not want Fleur de Lys to return. There is nothing to be gained from Fleur de Lys returning to this community except an increase in the levels of toxicity, more discussions and other people that aren't part of the problem going 'hmm, this is not worth the hassle' and either ending up leaving or becoming inactive. Am I saying Fleur de Lys is the only party at fault? No. But he is the worst one and the only one that has not shown progress but rather, in my opinion, regression. Fleur de Lys, you are unwanted here by many members. Get the hint, leave before everyone here has a negative opinion of you. It's not 'being discredited' if what people are saying is true. A farmer farms, a politician lies and you're a toxic person being toxic. Maybe life in general is frustrating to you, maybe you lack genuine power at work or whatever the reason is for you to be this toxic, I hope this may be part of the wake-up call for you to change. I hope you do end up a better person in the end, as I hope all of us do, if not for now and here, then for the people that will follow. I believe you said that you were part of three other regions, enjoy them and enjoy those communities. Want a fourth? Put Fleur de Lys back in the New Warsaw Pact and RP there. This one isn't for you. And if that means giving you time to copy stuff you want to save and then deleting your entire existence from the region and map, that's just going to be the price in my opinion. I'd rather help ten, twenty nations write new canon to replace mentions of you all by myself than have the community be subject to you and the levels of toxicity that you've carried ever since I've met you, again. People should be able to go on the discord and go on the forums and just have fun, be it through IC or OOC means, not worry if something they say may trigger a person to go ballistic. I really, genuinely hope that this is the last time you'll attempt to be part of this community without it wanting you to be a part of it and just leave quietly, taking your things and going. I wish you the best, really. Grudges aren't healthy and everyone deserves a life that they are happy and comfortable in. So, goodbye. I hope you find what you need but it won't be here.
  8. Variota

    Photo booth

    Enjoy a picture of me petting a shark. I ended up touching all the different kind of sharks, stingray and fish they had there
  9. Variota

    Coronation Celebration

    To: King Aidan Redmond of @Seylos From: F.F.f.F.f.F. Dina Diva Regarding: Your party, boi So, I was just told that only letters written on official letterhead paper count as official letters. Like, who cares? Anyway, I see you totally followed my advice and got yourself a party. Smart thinking! Dina Diva is never wrong, baby. But it wouldn't be a real party without me. Who are you going to party with otherwise? Don't answer that, it was hypocritical... hypnotical? Hypothetical! I'll be there and I'll bring some top notch party-goers. You know the Diva don't mess around, boo. My boi Henk will be there, the bastard actually won Eurthvision. We'll do some body shots off of him, it's like a rite of passage. I remember one kid, I think like 19 or something, at a manor. Big party by... I want to say a Kommune owner or shareholder? Anyway, he went to do some shots off of Henk and first five, nothing wrong. So we take a little break, like ten minutes. And I see him leaning a bit and I think like, he's had too much. And he keels over, hahaha. Like, full on passed out asleep. Snoring his ass off. So me and Henk are like, what the f*ck. Turns out, the kid's dad operated a couple of narcotic stores in the area and had bought some shady GHB in bulk. The kid had done five shots of GHB, hahahaha. Don't worry though, he was fine. I saw him a week later in Henk's penthouse, wearing a sailor's outfit while waiting for breakfast. Not really my cup of tea but hey, it's not like I'm the one playing the harbor master, am I right? I'll bring a bottle of the good stuff, not GHB haha, and the body to do them off, you just make sure your liver is working on full speed! X-O-X-O Dina Diva
  10. Please note: At the current time and after asking around and investigating, there is no indication that anything has happened to any post by Vocenae within this thread be it malignantly or with reason. I, as a moderator and as a person, regret that Vocenae has felt the need to accuse the moderation team of abuse. Each member of this community is free to think what they want about the moderation team or individual members of said team, however empty accusations are not a way through which we are able to foster a beneficial, fun, fair and friendly community, which is something that I feel that all of us on the Discord and here on the forums are out to do and in fact do. It is neither the way through which one effectively battles any perceived, be it imaginary or existing, abuse. As in the other thread, I will state this to Vocenae before closing this thread: Keep in mind that the general situation as you created it yourself by your actions, speech, tone of speech, intended and or perceived actions and more both here and in other threads is a complicated one. At the moment, the moderation team is coming together to reach a consensus on what should be done in order to end up with a beneficial situation. Not only for the community as a whole at this moment but also for the future. As such, I would request that you simply wait and refrain from further accusations until a beneficial solution has been produced. For members wondering why I have locked this: As stated, moderation is currently working together to reach a consensus to provide a beneficial solution for the community as a whole now and in the future. We, as moderators but also as players, are all about fostering a creative, fun community that will grow over the years. Looking at the Discord, looking at the forums, I think I can safely say that at this moment, with the members we have, that IS what we are doing. Like a good family or a good group of friends, we have our spats but in the end, the community is one of positive energy. The solution that the moderation team is seeking is one that will allow us to continue fostering that, growing that without issues. At the moment, finding that solution is taking some time as we want to be absolutely sure that this solution is a major one, one that removes all major issues. Rest assured that the moderation team IS working for you, one of the unique players and minds that make our community as it is, a great one. But like all good things, this takes some time.
  11. Variota

    From Skies to Safety (OOC)

    TO ADD: Honestly, surprised I forgot this but haven't had my first coffee yet. For any and all members reading this now or in the future: The forums maintain a 'report post' option, in the right top corner. This option allows you to fill in a report, which is then sent to moderation. All reports are looked at and handled in a fair and decent manner by the moderation team. For anything beyond an informal request to the OP, please use said 'report post' option so that we can adequately respond to situations that pop up.
  12. Variota

    From Skies to Safety (OOC)

    Let me start off by saying that I personally do not appreciate the false accusation that you are spreading. There was, in no way, biased moderation. If you take a look at the current mod team, you'll even see that more than half of them haven't, as far as I know, had genuine dealings with you, including myself. Your previous post had nothing to do with the IC nature of the thread and any future activity Andalla would want to put into it would have required the hiding or removal of your posts from that thread either way. While there is, indeed, no official OOC thread, you could have obviously just made one like I did for you. I moved it to here instead of moderation so that you may still read it and my reply. Andalla has been told the prudent course of action by moderation team members, I am sure he will do said course of action as soon as he is possible. Keep in mind that the general situation as you created it yourself by your actions, speech, tone of speech, intended and or perceived actions and more both here and in other threads is a complicated one. At the moment, the moderation team is coming together to reach a consensus on what should be done in order to end up with a beneficial situation. Not only for the community as a whole at this moment but also for the future. As such, I would request that you simply wait and refrain from further accusations until a beneficial solution has been produced.
  13. Variota

    Letters from Het Huisselant

    OOC: Yes! It is another letters thread! Only difference here is that I'm putting all letters, both from the government and other figures, here. All letters that don't fit in a RP will generally end up here. To remove any confusion, I'll make an index once I get some letters going. To: King Aiden Redmond of @Seylos From: F.F.f.F.f.F. Dina Diva Regarding: Congratulations on your coronation and an invite to a brighter future. My dear Aiden, as World's Greatest Diva and as a leader myself, I would love to congratulate you on your coronation. I remember when I was elected, it was so fun. We had a big victory party, there were drinks and food there, lovely. I think you can watch that particular episode of my reality show for free on my website, you should watch it if you haven't. Fun! Anyway, congratulations again! My people tell me that your coronation had a bit of a situation, a bit of a spat. It happens but remember: You're important now! Use that importance to get yourself a nice drink, a nice man and enjoy an evening off! It's what I would do. It's what the people deserve, a relaxed leader. Now that I have mentioned an evening off, I'll get to the other part of this letter. A new King has be celebrated, no? And no one does a party better than the Variotans, it's a fact. Ask anyone. As such, the government of Het Huisselant hereby invites you and an entourage of your choosing for a state visit. We will be able to use the day to regain strength and speak over joint issues that affect both our nations such as the Greater Serbia situation, the 'Holy' Empire of Derthalen, the general instability of Argis and the brighter future that can be had by increasing ties between our nations. Het Huisselant knows how to take care of its allies, as I am sure your side does too. And in the evening, we'll just let loose and go wild. Do you like vodka? There's one that tastes just like caramel and it's so delicious, like last time, I was with my personal friend Henk. I'm sure you'll recognize Henk, he's a rising star and is even Variota's current Eurthvision act, anyway, he was like: Do them off of that guy! And he pointed to this, like, deliciously caramel-colored man. I'm not entirely sure what he was, I think he was like half Iverican and like half Fulgistani or something. Who knows after six shots, am I right? Hahaha. Anyway, I ended up doing twelve more out of the guy's belly button and like, it was delicious but also ironic, you know? Doing caramel vodka shots from a caramel-colored man. Do you like botox or getting your eyebrows done or something? I know a couple of great places, we could totally like get something done together. I did the same with Johanson, Johansen (?) Jonasson (?), let's just call him Jerry, the one of Andalla. Man never looked better after he had some stuff done by my doctor. He looked like a whole different man! Anyway, just let your personal assistant let my personal assistant know when you're available and they'll set it up and arrange everything. So lovely that we can just use personal assistants for that, it just takes away so much unneeded effort! I've asked them to send along, I'm not entirely sure if they'll snail mail this or whatever, a nice commemorative picture of me from my photo shoot to promote Variotan-made porcelain horses. I've even signed it, you're one of the very few to have one. Keep it, it's a collectors item! X-O-X-O Dina Diva Commemorative picture
  14. Variota

    EurthVision Song Contest 2018

    Variota Kom Maar - Hete Henk Hete Henk jokingly pointing at his outfit during rehearsals While Foolish Bandit was a tough act to go after, Hete Henk wasn't anxious. Even when making his films, he never had issues with stage fright. Cameras? Bring them on. Live viewers? Bring them on. And really, why wouldn't he be confident? Het Huisselant was a land filled with talent, a land with a booming culture, one that was exported to many different nations. And from all those artists, both the domestic and international voters had selected him. His song was upbeat, happy, fun, light. Foolish Bandit could also give a show but his song was heavier, more about the bad. And if Variotans knew how to do anything, it was the good. The glitzy, the fun, the gaudy camp deliciousness that you pretend to hate but secretly love. Raw and delicious, forcing your eyes to it like a car crash, you feel like you should look away but you can't. And soon, you find yourself copying it. That sort of stuff. Would the juries love Hete Henk? He really did not know but he knew one thing, if the public has any taste, he'll get their votes. Nasionale TeleSicht Variota had arranged to loan some staff from the Propaganda en Morraalmagt, as they were used to handling large shows in a variety of conditions. This had turned out to be a good move as last minute choreography changing had led to a more intricate technical need. Luckily, all was handled and deemed possible, although the Prymontians seemed amazed that someone would want to do that. They apparently never had seen a proper performance. Luckily for everyone, this was soon to change. As Foolish Bandit's performance ended and he left the stage, all lights were dimmed and during this time, the technicians rolled everything in place. When the lights were turned back on, one could see Hete Henk sitting at a bar in the middle of the stage, on the sole bar stool in front of it. Four round basins containing a long metal pole in the middle were situated in a square around the bar, each filled with a copious amount of baby oil. Hete Henk's outfit was an eccentric choice, a bright and sparkly jumpsuit-like outfit with the Variotan flag as a pattern*. Unlike Foolish Bandit, Hete Henk had asked for a more mobile microphone, something he could just wear as when he spread his arms, the outfit showed the entire Variotan flag. Not having to hold a microphone meant being able to do more of those tricks. The music starts, the back-screen shows a Variotan luxury resort and some cheering can be heard by Variotans, fans of Variota and fans of Hete Henk himself. A cocktail glass prop is quickly lowered down as Hete Henk grabs a condom packet from between his belt. As he starts singing, he grabs the cocktail in his other hand, signifying some of the fun stuff Hete Henk wants to do with you. He remains seated at the bar but, from a camera perspective, he remains eye contact with you. For just this moment, all that exists is you and Hete Henk. Kom maar... Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Hete Henk jogs to the front of the stage and frisbees the condom packet, which he had signed before the show, into the crowd before turning around and showing off the Variotan flag on the back of his outfit. Four muscular men in old women costumes are quickly lowered onto the stage, each taking their place at a different pole. As soon as Hete Henk returns to singing, they hang onto the pole in a horizontal pose that resembles as if they're sleeping. Hete Henk points towards the crowd and the cameras in a persuasive manner while singing. Ek weet het sgat, Ji frau ligt plat, Ek weet het sgat, Ji wil met mi in bat, Ek weet het sgat, Ji frau ligt plat The men in old women costumes tear off their clothes, held together with velcro for ease of removal and removed their wigs, which are all hoisted towards the ceiling using wire. Each of them are now revealed to wear nothing more than a jockstrap with the Variotan coat of arms on them and some gloves. As the next bit starts, Hete Henk dances enthusiastically between the four basins as the four men start oiling themselves up. The background video changes into a first person perspective of being taken into the Pink Pony, the infamous Variotan nightclub, and partying. Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n The men are done oiling up, looking delicious and shiny, and remove their gloves, dropping them into the baby oil. The gloves were done in order to prevent the dancers from being unable to grip with their hands. Sure, they had to train for weeks in order to be able to reliably do the choreography without slipping away due to the oil but it was worth it. They leave their basins and dance towards Hete Henk, standing near the bar. Ajaa As Hete Henk sings Ajaa, the men grab him with two tearing his outfit off, one lifting him and the other removing Henk's shoes, throwing it all to the back of the stage. Flames and fireworks light up the sky, temporarily taking away visibility of the stage. Cheers and whistles can be heard as it's revealed that he's wearing bermuda-style swimming trunks with, again, the Variotan flag on them. As they release Henk and the next bit begins, they start twerking towards him. Once in a while, Henk slaps a dancer on the cheeks. Mann'n fan alle kleur'n, Will'n bij mi hor'n, Kom maar lekker naar mi toe ja Kom maar lekker hier ja Kom maar, kom maar hey Kom maar, kom maar hey Kom maar, kom maar hey Hete Henk returns to the single bar stool, with two of the men laying on the bar and two kneeling next to Henk, one of each on each side. Hete Henk seductively pets the two laying on the bar as he sings, all four men are seemingly focused on Hete Henk as the sole object worthy of attention. The two kneeling next to him attempt to pull on the swimming trunks but are teasingly slapped away by Henk. Ek weet het sgat, Ji frau ligt plat, Ek weet het sgat, Ji wil met mi in bat, Ek weet het sgat, Ji frau ligt plat Hete Henk and the dancers move towards the poles with Hete Henk ordering each dancer to their pole one-by-one. Each dancer, once they've reached the poles, starts doing a different routine with and on the pole. Dancers pretend to laugh at the one being brought back, as they won't be the one spending time with Henk, until it is revealed that Henk is ordering all four dancers to return, causing them all to show disappointment at not being picked. Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n As he brings the last man to his pole, the dancer pretends to trip and tears off Henk's bermuda swimming trunks. Again, cheers and whistles are heard as it is revealed that Hete Henk is wearing a skin-tight speedo with the Variotan flag on it. With all four dancers at their poles, they change and start doing the same routine. With Henk in a speedo, he moves towards the middle of the stage and, while holding his crotch, points towards the crowd. Kom maar naar mi toe ja Henk moves his crotch forward in a 'come and get it'-type motion. As he does this, short bursts of flames are released to give the motion more umph. Kom tan Henk again moves his crotch forward in a 'come and get it'-type motion with similar pyrotechnics. Swooning by homosexuals and women alike can be heard in the crowd. Kom maar naar mi toe ja Henk moves his crotch in the same manner as both times before this but this time, fireworks are released and the dancers can be seen hurrying to Henk, hearing his call. The dancers scurry up to Henk and rub their bodies against him in a manner meant to slightly oil him up while also showing off the raw sexuality of the modern dance and the pleasurably smooth environment similar to one of a Variotan nightclub. The screen changes into one of the secluded VIP rooms of the Pink Pony, giving the viewer a first-person perspective of getting a table dance from a twink. The bar stool in front of the bar is quickly removed by a stage hand while attention is drawn on Henk and the dancers. Mann'n van alle kleur'n, Will'n bij mi hor'n, Kom maar lekker naar mi toe ja Kom maar lekker hier ja Kom maar, kom maar Kom maar, kom maar Kom maar, kom maar One of the dancers picks up Hete Henk and throws him over his shoulder. As the dancer turns to wink at the crowd, he takes the back of Hete Henk's speedo and, for a split second, shows the Eurthvision Song Contest Henk's bare buttocks. Cheers, whistles and gasps could all be heard at the same time. Of course, in some regard, the commotion was something strange as Hete Henk was someone who revealed much, much more for a living. Hete Henk is put down on the bar and lays down on the bar, the four dancers pawing at him as he sings the next bit. Ek weet het sgat, Ji frau ligt plat, Ek weet het sgat, Ji wil met mi in bat, Ek weet het sgat, Ji frau ligt plat The four dancers hurry to their poles to do one last quick routine while the cocktail prop from the beginning of the song is again lowered to the bar. As with the first time, Henk manages to grab a condom packet, this time from within his speedo. The screen turns to a new video, albeit in the same VIP room. The same guy from the previous video has now moved on to giving a lapdance. Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n Kom maar naar mi toe ja Ek geef ji wat ji wil ja Alle leuke ting'n Ga ek met ji sing'n The dancers hang on their pole, holding still and point to Hete Henk, who is quickly standing up. As soon as he stands, the bar top begins to rise as small bursts of pyrotechnics are released. Once the bar has fully risen, the front collapses and reveals another Variotan flag, this time painted onto the wooden internals of the bar**. The dancers quickly move towards the bar and Henk jumps, caught by the dancers. A large and final burst of flames released just as the dancers seem to want to remove Henk's speedo. At the moment that you'd finally be able to see something interesting, the lights cut out, teasing the crowd.
  15. Variota

    Next G7 Summit

    The Greatest Nation of Alharu requests, nay, demands to be part of this summit. Or else you'll all receive a very stern letter!
×